Shame on.. Whom?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Ryan* is 21 years old. He is already a graduate of Bachelor of Science course and he is presently taking up English Enhancement Program from me.

Because he got a very low grade in the assessment test, I asked him what the problem was. To this he answered that he doesn’t understand much of the English words. So, I gave him reading materials intended for sixth grader but still he got 10 incorrect answers out of 20. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that he couldn't figure out what a ‘canoe’ is even when the sentence says ‘They used a canoe to cross the river’ (which surely gives an idea that a canoe is something like a boat).

I also found out that he is not familiar with the basic rules in grammar like plural forms and possessive nouns. It saddens me to realize that our schools let a student graduate without knowing the difference between girls and girl’s.

Is there really something wrong? Or I just have an UNREALISTICALLY high standard?

*not real name

The "Unica Hija"

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Penny* was the only girl in the family. She was the princess and everybody waits on her. She had the most beatiful toys and dresses. Her hair was adorned with colorful ribbons and glittering hair clips. She was, for her family, a living doll.

I met her in high school. Though not as pretty as her family claimed her to be, she really was glamorously dressed. Her parents spent 'big money' on her whims and caprices. Her 18th birthday probably was one of the grandest occasions the town has ever witnessed, so I heard. I was not invited.

It was therefore one of the biggest and juiciest news when Penny, a few months after her debut, ran away with a local farmer's son who was then an engineering student under scholarship grant.  Her parents, incredulous of their daughter's choice of husband tried to get her back and even filed a kidnapping case against her boyfriend. But the night they got Penny home, she fled.

Denounced by her own parents, Penny married her boyfriend and lived just like the rest of us, poor but striving. My sister, Liz and I saw her with her husband in Isetann Plaza, Manila about 20 years ago. They ordered a plate of spaghetti and a tall glass of halo-halo down in the food court. Gossips as we were, we watched as they exchanged food when they thought no one was looking..

If that is not love, then I don't know what it is..

*not real name

Mommy VS Grandma

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Bo* is 5 years old. He is now in Kinder. He was brought to the tutorial center because it seems like he is learning very little in school.

During assessment, Bo was obviously distracted. He can identify the letters of the alphabet but not all. When asked about anything, he would nod his head… followed by a vigorous shake. His hand grip on the pencil is also not firm. So, I told the parents about this. The father, then, asked if Bo would learn to read and write if he enrolls him in 8-hour tutorial. I thought ‘wow, this dad is so amusing.' So, we answered him that Bo’s progress depends on how willing he is to work with us.

I eventually found out, from Grandma, that Bo watches TV the whole day. She also said that she has been telling the working parents, her daughter-in-law in particular, to lessen Bo’s time for watching TV and give more time to other educational activities like coloring, tracing, object identification from books, etc..

Mom, on the other hand, said that every time she teaches Bo his lessons and the boy refuses, Grandma, her mother-in-law, would interfere and take the boy’s side on the matter.

Well, aren’t they pointing fingers at each other? In that case, it won’t do Bo, any good. The bottom line is, we have to work together so the boy would learn.

*not real name

Love Conquers All

This is a re-post from my old old.

Jiro* was one of my closest friends in high school. He was kind, and sweet, and thoughtful and very understanding for a friend. He was of average intelligence and though not exceptionally good looking was very neat and orderly that he is pleasant enough to look at. I can still remember how he escorted me in school activities and did things only a true friend will do. When we graduated from high school, I was so happy that I didn't notice how dismal he looked. I learned later that his mother entered him in the SEMINARY. I couldn't understand why instead of feeling happy about that, I felt kind of.. I don't know, sad maybe.

In the next years to come, I regularly see him not only when I attended masses but also when he took some time to visit me in our house just like the old days. For some reasons unknown to me, he knew I didn't like his being in the seminary. We never talked about it. It's as if it was enough that he knew. Until one day, he asked me the question I'd been trying to avoid all those years.Why didn't I like his being in the seminary? My answer was simple enough for me, because there are already plenty of good priests but few good husbands and fathers, and that though I will be happy if he becomes a priest, I will be happier to meet the lucky girl he would marry someday. He just nodded and smiled.

After 5 years, though I wasn't supposed to be surprised, I still was, to find out that he already did marry. He left the seminary against his mother's wishes and married the woman he loved whom he met about 5 years ago, which incidentally was the time he asked me his question. I was happy for him. We talked over the cell phone with plans of setting a date for his family and mine. It never did take place though, because he'd been busy with his printing business and I, with my work. But I didn't know that it NEVER WILL take place, because after 3 years, I received a very sad news. His young wife died of heart attack. We were only 28 at the time..

Just like a good friend, I offered my condolences and tried to console him. But it seems as if he didn't need it. He was strong and brave and hopeful despite what happened. But looking at the pictures of his 2 beautiful kids, I understood where he got his strength, and courage and hope..

Love conquers all. And only love can conquer love..

What A Child Needs

This is a re-post from my old blog.  

Leila* was a typical 4 year-old little girl when I handled her during the summer of last year. She is a lively child, very talkative, very pretty and really polite. I like her and all of us teachers in the center like her.

Despite her talkative nature, she is smart and so learns easily. My only problem with Leila was that she gets too sleepy at the middle of the session. There was even one time that she practically fell asleep.

I talked to her mom and told her about it. I found out then that Leila wakes up at 5:30 to prepare for her ‘modeling session’, after that comes her 'ballet lesson'. From ballet she will then go to our center for her 'reading lesson' with me. After that she will go to 'swimming lesson', then finally goes home. EVERY DAY.

I was speechless. I wanted so much to remind the mom that Leila is a child, she gets exhausted and that she needs to rest. But mom’s facial expression was hard, even for a teacher like myself, to penetrate, and the least I could do was to say “Oh, that’s why. Well, maybe she needs some rest..’ but mom didn’t seem to hear.

By the way, Leila eats her lunch in the car on her way to our center.. Poor child..

*not real name

The Runaway

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Charlotte* is a Filipina who was born and who grew up in the United States. I met her in college. She was 18 at the time and was SENT HOME here in the Philippines so she can take her tertiary education. She was taking up BS Nursing when we became friends. She is a nice, sweet girl speaking in American English, accented Pilipino and flawless Ilocano. For traditional Filipino boys, she was quite intimidating, until she met Bong.

About 6 years her senior, Bong is not an average guy. He was already in his 10th year in college, 3rd course (3rd time that he shifted) and in his 24th year of life with nothing he can say 'he finished.' He was so irresponsible that his own parents already gave up on him but were still sending him to school just so he has something else to do instead of irritating them to death. Then, he met Charlotte.

It was an UNLIKELY match. A sweet young girl and a.. never mind. The moment they fell in love with each other was, for us, the greatest thing that ever happened to Bong. He transformed from a worthless bum into a responsible and amicable man we always wanted him to be. After a couple of years, Bong FINALLY graduated from college. And that day was a double celebration for that was also the day Charlotte found out that she was pregnant. Being a newly graduate at 26, Bong had a difficult time looking for a job. For one, he was over-age, in addition, his transcript of record was not a pleasant sight. So, Charlotte's mother helped them out. She rented a house for the couple and sent them money while Bong was looking for a job. And he did find one. But his basic salary was not enough for food, for Charlotte's education and for the baby's needs. Life was TOUGH.

But they made it through.. After some while, I learned that Charlotte already finished her Nursing course. Now, they can have an easy life.. or so I THOUGHT, because one day, Charlotte packed her things, left Bong and the baby, went back to the US and NEVER CAME BACK. With one final letter of goodbye to Bong, we never heard of her again..

Some people always say 'They have no choice.' That is not entirely true. They simply couldn't take the consequences of the other choices they have and so limit the options to the only one they think they could live (even miserably) with.

*Not real name

Whose Child Is This?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

A young mother with her son came to our center to inquire about a program for her 3 year old boy. Our client service officer, Ms Me Ann, was very accommodatingly answering all of her questions when we noticed that the boy was trying to open the sliding door of the play school room, obviously enticed by the toys and other colorful materials inside.

Ms. Me Ann gently told the boy that he shouldn't get in as there was an ongoing class. The boy looked at Ms. Me Ann murderously and snapped at her, "I'M GOING TO KICK YOU!' (Sisipain kita dyan!)

We were shocked. Ms. Me Ann patiently told the boy that it was not a nice thing to say. The mother butted in and told Ms. Me Ann that her son is 'a real nice boy'. She held her son's arm and led him out of the center.

We just watched as the mother tried to get control of her son who was trying to run away from her when he saw the coin-operated rides.

The Good Provider

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Maureen* was raised conservatively and very traditionally. She is one of those uncommonly nice girls who did what their parents told them to do. She never attended parties, she never went on any of our picnics nor did she have a boyfriend when we were in high school. So, we went crazy when we learned she had a boyfriend some time in college. We didn't stop until we met the guy, and we did. He was smart and nice and cool. He was PERFECT for her.

As expected, they waited until they finished college and have stable jobs before they got married. It was a dream wedding, with the wedding gown and the big white cake and the long entourage. We were so happy for our friend. As responsible people as they were, in a matter of 5 years, they were able to get themselves a nice big house, a car for each of them and a cool condo unit in the city.

They are what we call in our 'book' a successful couple. We were surprised, though, that we were mistaken.. at least in a way. Yes, they are successful. They are doing very well financially and they are living very comfortably. So, I asked Maureen what's wrong. At first she was too embarrassed to tell us, so we let it go. But in her own right time, she told us what the problem was. They don't make love as often as they should.

Her husband is a workaholic. He never stops working. They don't cuddle on weekdays because they have to work. So, the only time they have for some romantic moments is the weekend, but sometimes her husband would bring home some reports to do and work until dawn, no time for love. We advised her to go out of town, that is.. out of work, so they did. But her husband got too tired of driving that he just slept in the hotel where they stayed. Bad idea.

We told her to talk about it with her husband. We said tell him what she wants. But being brought up as a nice Catholic girl she couldn't do it, she simply COULDN'T. It's as if she's going to die of embarrassment if she discusses 'this issue' with her husband. It seems to her an IMPROPER thing to discuss..

That was about 5 years ago. We hoped that the situation would change. It didn't. So, Maureen is still unnecessarily unhappy, and we are unhappy for her..

*Not real name

Can Your Child Read at 9 Years Old?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Christia* is in grade 3. She goes to a, somewhat, PRESTIGIOUS school here in Manila. She is a typical 9 year-old girl, curious and playful. But what's different about her is that... She doesn't know how to read.. YET.

As I understand it, her mom is working abroad and she is left with her tita as her guardian. I do believe that tita is doing what she thinks is best for Christia. She sends her to a good school, and even hires an after-school tutor for her in case she has difficulty in her subjects. The tutor happens to be her school adviser. That Christia turns 9 and does not learn HOW TO READ, however, escapes me. What have gone wrong? Why is it that nobody even noticed?

On her first day under my tutelage, I found out what's wrong. Christia can't handle stress and difficulties. When she can't remember a particular letter of the alphabet, she makes a guess instead of thinking hard. But of course, I won't tolerate that. So, she would give me THE FACE, the most pitiful expression she could possibly give and when it doesn't work on me, she would throw me HATEFUL glances. But I'm used to that, I'm a teacher, some people love teachers, some people hate them. Then, when she gets frustrated, she would CRY. So I give her time.. I leave her be for 5 minutes or so, to give her time to compose herself. When I come back, I will continue the lesson as if nothing happens..

She is, so far, the greatest challenge in my career this year.. As of our last session she is already reading sentences of words with short vowel sounds (bat, cat, mat...)

Teaching, as I always say, is not something to do simply to make a living, teaching is a special gift that not everyone is blessed with... I'm proud I'm a teacher.

*not real name

The Poetess

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Rick* and Ann*, though of extremely different personalities, were friends. Rick is painfully handsome, smart, athletic, artistic but a very shy guy. Ann, on the other hand, is equally smart, plain looking, clumsy and an art dork. But her lack of artistic talents, she compensates with her literary skills. She is also very sociable and very comfortable in anybody's company, quite contrary to her friend, Rick who seems to be walking on egg shells anywhere he went.

As traditional stories of friendship goes, Ann felt something more for Rick. Deeper than the love for a friend that she was sure Rick felt for her. As time passed by, Ann became more and more uncomfortable with Rick around. So, putting her writing prowess to use, she wrote a nice love letter signed RIA, her initials backward. She sent it to Rick whose address, of course, she knew. Surprisingly, she felt better after expressing her feelings and she was able to deal with Rick as comfortably as before. So, she sent another one, and another, and another..

Rick, however, was unsettled by the letters he was constantly receiving. He was touched by the emotions the writer freely expressed on the letters. He was dying to meet her, because for the first time in his life, he fell in love. Ann, being closest to him, was told of this. She was horrified. It couldn't be. It had to stop.

So, risking the friendship they had for a long time, she told him the truth, how she felt about him, how she wrote the letters under her initials backward and sent them, with the intentions of simply unburdening herself of the feelings that had been gnawing in her heart for quite some while.

Rick was stunned. It wasn't possible. RIA, his dear poetess couldn't be this girl sitting next to him. She must be someone else. They didn't talk about it again. They stayed the way they were, good buddies. They parted ways after college. Ann got married after a few years and had children while Rick is still a bachelor. I saw him about 10 months ago. He was looking for a writer for his company profile. He didn't mention it but I can feel, he's still thinking about RIA, that ONE GREAT WRITER, whom he fell in love with..

*Not real names

Mr. RIGHT...eous?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Aside from being a review and tutorial center, our company also publishes review books and other materials.

Two years ago, a self-declared INTELLECTUAL came to our office telling us that there was an error in one of our reviewers. He demanded to talk with the owner of the company without considering that the owner may be busy, out of town, in a meeting or simply... not in that small branch. So, we called the Academic Head to pacify him and of course to listen to what he had to say..

The Acad Head patiently explained and justified all the issues that he raised, but he simply ignored her and insulted her for being a graduate from a public (but reputable) school here in Manila. After defending herself assertively but very politely, the Acad Head assured the man that 'we will try to look into this.'

Two weeks ago, the man came back. He said he was checking if we did what he said we should do. When asked what he had been doing lately, he proudly answered, 'looking for mistakes committed by others like you.' He kept on talking. He even said that we, employed teachers, in our review center, were NO MATCH for him and that we were in every way INFERIOR to him.

I honestly don't know what to think of the whole thing, actually I found it somehow amusing that there is such person, but one thing I know is true, it is not worth feeling BAD about..

A Matter of Acceptance

This is a re-post from my old bog.

Kiko* is 4 years old. He is an active boy, a VERY active one. He was brought to us last year for tutorial. It seems like he couldn’t cope with the lessons like other boys his age. But we felt that the problem was MORE than that.

Kiko can’t keep still. He has no eye contact. He doesn’t talk. He may repeat what another person says but he can’t identify an object when he is shown one. I wanted to ask his mom if they considered having him checked, luckily, his school teacher, who happens to be a friend of mine, beat me to it.

The teacher explained to mom all the things that I have just said. She also tried to make mom understand that she wants what is best for Kiko and that we are all doing our best.

With this, mom, with a lovely smile on her face, simply said.. “But he’s ok, right?” obviously missing the point the teacher was trying to say.

Now, Kiko is 4, talks very little, runs much and still has no eye contact. Much as we wanted to help him, we’re not the right people and the right institution to do it…

*not real name

Young Love Turned Nightmare

This is a re-post from my old blog.

We were in 3rd year high school when Che* and Jun* became sweethearts. But though they were a sweet couple, young and obviously very much in love, we didn't approve of the match. On one hand, Che was a quiet girl with bashful eyes. Jun, on the other hand, was a spoiled brat and a mischief since we were young. So, we kind of hoped that they would break up one day. They didn't. As a matter off act, Che was in third year in her BS Nursing course when she ran away with Jun.

Jun proved to be the brat that he really was. He didn't work. He continued his bachelor's ways even if they already had 2 children. He was very irresponsible, unreasonably jealous and an abusive husband. There was a rumor that he beat Che when he got drunk. Che wouldn't admit it but her dark bruises couldn't deny anything. We urged Che to leave Jun, but she was scared to death of what Jun will do to her besides the fact that she couldn't leave her children.

Then one night, Jun, heavily drunk and (as the rumor went) under the influence of prohibited drugs, beat Che so badly that she was nearly killed. She was able to run away to her parents' place. They hid her somewhere safe for quite some while. She was safe but heartbroken. She knew she lost her children the moment she left Jun. I told her she's no use to them if she's dead...

Che is now working abroad as a factory worker. I heard that she borrows the children every time she's here in the Philippines. Jun is still begging her to come back to him, but needless to say it's suicide. How about Jun's parents? Well, their son never goes wrong and that's all there is to it..

*not real name