Teacher, Teacher.. I Am Sick

Trina* is four years old. She is a smart little girl with bright eyes. She was enrolled in our Reading Program and she was doing very well.

Sometime during the rainy days, when the Philippines was being attacked by typhoons, Trina came to the center covered in thick jacket. The usual twinkle in her eyes was gone. But when we started the lesson, she did quite well. Still, I felt something was wrong. So, I asked her how she was feeling and she said she wasn’t feeling well.

So, I asked our receptionist to please call Trina’s mom and tell her the girl wasn’t in good shape. Mommy came and asked me if Trina wouldn’t want to work. I said Trina wanted to work, in fact, she was doing great, but I felt that the girl wasn’t feeling well.

Then I heard Trina sobbed and cried and said..

"Mommy, I want to to go home..”

So, Trina was really sick after all, but mommy was forcing her to go to the center to study. The girl was running a fever, still, mommy took her to the center despite the storm and all.

I MUST have the last say at the matter and I said the girl MUST be sent home, and she was.

Our children are humans, sometimes they are sick, sometimes they aren’t.. and they need rest when they are.

*not real name

For Richer and in Health

Naldo* was an impressive University of the Philippines student when I met him, I was in grade school at the time. He was a distant relative and I could say, a close one. He was the hope of his family and everybody was expecting so much from him. So, it was kind of sad when I learned that he joined a group of militant students and instead of finishing his studies, he did something else.

After several years,  he realized he made a mistake and came back home. With him, however, was a very pretty lass of 17 years, and was about 10 years younger than he is. Obviously, Nita* was smitten by the impressive young man and fell for his persuasive and diplomatic skills. They were unquestionably in love.

However, life was difficult and it was more so for people with unfinished college education. Naldo had no choice but to work in the farm, and work in the farm he did. After a few years, his calloused hands and cracked feet are silent witnesses to the kind of life he and his family had. At 30, he looked 45.

His wife bore two boys and was pregnant with the third when I saw them again. Nita was just as pretty as I met her first, except for the rough calloused hands. She was selling vegetables that she herself grew in their own backyard. As always, she was smiling as if everything around her was beautiful, but I wasn’t easily deceived, I saw something else from her eyes, MISERY. I don’t know how true it was but rumors had it that Naldo hit her from time to time.

After several more years, I wasn’t surprised when I learned that Nita ran away. She ran away with another man who operates a gambling house in the place. She didn’t take anything with her including her children. She left all of them to Naldo. Maybe she fell in love, maybe she got fed up or maybe.. she simply found a way out of her miserable life.

Was I surprised? Not at all :(

*not real name

Bye Mom! Bye Dad! (See You When I Grow Up)

Little Sarah* is 3 years old. Unlike little girls her age, she can not talk sensibly yet. She can mumble phrases, but none, not even her nanny, understands what she is trying to say. It could be speech delay. We, however, sense more than that, the girl has no eye contact and no concept of things, she just mimics. So we talked with her mom.

We found out that mom and dad are both overseas contract workers and at the time of Sarah’s enrollment with us, they were only on vacation. As per our recommendation, mommy, a registered nurse, had Sarah checked. The pediatrician said it was not just speech delay (as what we have sensed) and she recommended therapy.

I personally believe, however, that Sarah needs more than that. She needs parents more than anything else. But when we asked mommy if it’s not possible for her to stay with the little girl, she said it isn’t and that she really had to continue working abroad.

Yesterday, we received an overseas call from Sarah’s mommy. She’s been back abroad for 2 weeks now and was checking how Sarah was coping. What saddened us was her reluctance to have Sarah undergo therapy. She still believes that the girl was fine and that she only needs exposure to other children. I believe otherwise. If the pediatrician said she needs therapy, and I guess she really needs it :(

Our children are kids only once, if we miss their childhood altogether, there’s no way to make up for the lost time because they will NEVER BE kids again..

*not real name

When To Say 'Sorry'?

EJ* is 4 years old. He is a spoiled little boy who always gets what he wants and he wants everything he sees even those which belong to someone else.

Every time he comes to the center, he knocks things down and grabs other kids’ toys. When he doesn’t get what he wants, he gets into a tantrum that lasts for several minutes. Last week, he grabbed a toy being played by the little girl, Aira, and the girl cried. EJ’s mommy talked with him and told him to give the toy back to the girl. But EJ wouldn’t give it back, so mommy took it and handed it to Aira. EJ got so mad he dropped on the matted floor. He screamed at the top of his lungs and flailed his arms and legs wildly. Mommy picked him up and tried to pacify him. But EJ kept on screaming as hard as he could and hit mommy again and again.

Then mommy said “It’s ok, baby.. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.. Mommy won’t do it again..”

We were speechless.. EJ was taken outside the play school by his mommy who kept on apologizing to the boy. So, we went on with the class..

Honestly.. I’m lost. Why did mommy apologize to EJ?

*not real name

Fool Me Once

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me..

The Bedanios were among the wealthiest families in our small town. They owned various stores like a sari-sari store, hardware, etc. that’s in addition to an enormous warehouse for onions and palay. What more, they lived in the grandest bungalow in our place at the time. I even attended a party there when I was in fourth year high school.

Mang Renato* and Aling Binay* were a handsome but extremely intimidating couple. Their son, Renato Jr. was my classmate in grade school but was transferred to another section in high school. He remained my friend, though.

About 15 years ago, I learned from my family back in the province that Mang Renato left Aling Binay. Rumors had it that the old man ran away with one of their young and beautiful helpers, one of their salesladies. Aling Binay, however, was one tough woman, despite what her husband did, she was able to manage their businesses.

After being gone for three years, Mang Renato came back. Thin and sickly. For their children’s sake, Aling Binay took back her remorseful husband. She nursed him back to health until he was strong enough to manage the businesses. Predictably, they flourished once again.

One morning after two years, though, Aling Binay woke up with Mang Renato gone, presumably back to the girl he left behind. Gone also were one 8-wheeler truck and their bank book leaving her with what they had in the store, the warehouse and a few thousand pesos in her wallet. The second blow was harder to take. Aling Binay had a stroke which left her invalid from the waist down.

Last time I went home, the stores were closed, the warehouse was empty and the bungalow was for sale. My friend, Renato Jr has been working in the Middle East as a factory worker, I guess. He is even asking me for a batch reunion in December, I said I’ll think about it. One tough guy..

*not real name

Can't Mommies be Teachers, Too?

Ken* is 3 years old. He is enrolled in our Playschool program. He is a typical playful little boy who wants to play all the time. And that’s nice because kids learn by playing.

Ken’s memory span, however, is too short. He tends to forget easily. It’s as if he doesn’t remember any of the lessons, both previous and current. Another thing is that, he doesn’t do his homework. No matter how many times his teacher gives instructions to his nanny about Ken’s homework, the little boy always comes to school with assignment undone. It seems like no one is checking the boy’s lessons at home. But when teacher asked where mommy works, she found out that mommy is a plain housewife. Ken is an only child (so far) so there is no baby to keep mommy busy. So, Teacher set a meeting with mommy and told her about the undone homework and Ken’s difficulty in coping with the lessons.

The following week, when Ken gave his Assignment notebook, his homework was done. It was neatly done, very neatly in fact, pictures perfectly colored and lines perfectly traced. It was obviously done by a much, much older person, Mommy for instance.

Last Friday, Ken’s class was given their first Assessment Test. He didn’t get any score. He didn’t recognize any color, any shape, any number or any letter of the alphabet.

His teacher was frustrated. She feels as if she’s not being effective. She said..

“I simply wish someone will take the time to guide and do a follow-up on Ken’s lessons at home..”

I told her so do I. But I said it’s OK. Ken is still young. A lot of things may still happen in the future. We can only do our work and hope for the best.

*not real name

What More Can a teacher Do?

Michelle* is in grade 6. She seems to be having difficulty with her studies that’s why she was brought to us. I found out during our session that it was even worse than ‘a difficulty.’ The girl doesn’t even know that the plural form of child is children, and she doesn’t know which word is a naming word and which is an action word.

At the end of the session, I talked with the one who brought her to the center, which happened to be her older sister. I told her my observation and recommended that Michelle take regular tutorial as reinforcement for her lessons in school. Her sister very truthfully admitted that Michelle has been taking tutorial lessons ever since preschool. Aside from home tutorial, her school requires her to attend Saturday classes to recap the lessons for the week. At the end of the school year, however, Michelle is still under probation. So, her parents would plead with the director of the school to let the girl stay. The director would then require Michelle to attend summer lessons.

At the mention of their parents, Big Sister became emotional. She told me how at first she was the one who was helping Michelle with her lessons, but it seems like the girl’s head is a sieve and the lessons are like clear water that simply passes through. Nothing is retained.

I nearly suggested having Michelle checked by a neurologist to find out if there’s something wrong with the part of her brain that affects her memory, but I was worried that she may get offended.

I felt sorry for them, but teachers have limitations, and I believe it’s not a simple matter of ‘not paying attention in class’ nor ‘limited English vocabulary.’ And though I strongly believe there’s something more to it than being ‘forgetful’ I sincerely wish I am wrong about it.

If you were Michelle’s sister, would you have been offended if I suggested having your sister checked by a neurologist?

*not real name

Love in Its Unconditional Form

Aling Ligaya* was married to Mang Boy*, an unemployed, physically abusive drunk who beat his wife when he’s intoxicated. All her friends advised Aling Ligaya to leave her husband, but she couldn’t. We assumed that it was because of her children.

After several years, however, her children got old enough to understand their mother’s situation. One of my conversations with Ann, the oldest, assured me that they would understand should their mother decide to leave their father. She didn’t.. We assumed, then, that she was scared Mang Boy would hunt him down if she did.

After several more years, I learned that Mang Boy had a stroke and was left invalid from the waist down.

"Finally, Aling Ligaya was free,’ we thought.

We were wrong. Aling Ligaya stayed with Mang Boy. She took care of him, fed him, bathed him, and did everything to make him feel comfortable. The mean old man, on the other hand still abused her verbally. He would yell at her like he used to do and in his inability to hit her with his fist, he would grab anything nearby, usually a bowl of leftover soup, and throw at his loving wife.

At this point in time, we knew our battle was lost. Aling Ligaya stayed for only one reason.. LOVE.

*not real name

The Poor Big Boy

Luke* is 5 years old. A handsome boy with chubby face, he is obviously the favorite in the family as he is the youngest. They call him ‘baby.’ He was enrolled in our Reading Program without undergoing the usual assessment test. His mother simply said ‘READING’ so, I assumed that the boy already reads some words.

I was surprised to find out, therefore, that he doesn’t memorize the letters in the alphabet. Not only that, he couldn’t identify the letters, ANY letter, in the alphabet including the letter A. So, I gave him some work sheets to do. But since they came late, I handled him for barely an hour. When mommy came to pick him up, I talked with her and told him that my assessment is that Luke doesn’t memorize the alphabet yet. To this, she answered vehemently that he does, only, he couldn’t pronounce all of the letters because he’s still a baby. I smelled trouble right right away. I, very politely insisted that, no, he doesn’t. He just knows the Alphabet Song, but he couldn’t identify each letter if randomly presented. Mommy didn’t insist anymore but I could feel her disapproval.

The following session, Luke started to show impatience. He kept on asking if it’s time to go, so I have to say, ‘not yet.’ In addition to the worksheets, I started to use ALPHABET flash cards when Luke suddenly.. CRIED. Yes, he cried. He said he didn’t want to work anymore and he wanted to go home. His name came right away so I wasn’t able to comfort and stop him from crying. And since we couldn’t talk him into doing his worksheets again, I decided to let him go home with the instruction to give him a schedule of 1 hour only until he gets used to it, and when he did, then we’ll resume to the usual 1 hour and a half.

The following day, I learned that Luke’s mother wanted to have me replaced. She said that she wanted another teacher because I offended Luke when I said that he is not good, so he doesn’t want to go back to the center anymore. I was offended. Not because I was being replaced, but because I never say to ANY of my student that he or she is not good, and I’m sure I NEVER said that to Luke.

The following day, Luke had a session in Math, her mother was stiff and treated me very coldly. After barely an hour, Luke CRIED again. Surely, the younger and gentler Math teacher didn’t say that he’s not good.

I know what the problem is.. Luke doesn’t want to work and he is not used to working hard. So, when we gave him some worksheets to do, he started to cry because he knows mommy won’t let anyone force him to do something..

Parents love their children so much that they want to make things easier for them. But there are things in life that couldn’t be learned without working hard and that parents couldn’t do for their children, they have to do it themselves, like reading and writing for instance. No matter how much we love our children, we just couldn’t do everything for them..

*Not real name

Who's Cheated?

Vincent* is our regular student in the tutorial center and he is one of our least favorites. First, because he doesn’t seem to understand why he is in he tutorial center, second, he doesn’t seem to understand that we are doing our best to help him pass his subjects and third, he is none the wiser after each session.

One time, he had a quarterly exam in Civics, he gave his book ahead of time to give us the pointers for his test. So, I was like.. ‘Civics? Isn’t it memorization? Does he really need to go to the tutorial center for that?’

He did. After leaving his book to us for 3 days, he came back. So, I prepared about 6 pages long identification type of test for him to answer. But since his book was with me, obviously, he didn’t study. So, he didn’t know the answer to any of the questions.

So, to save time, I gave him the summary of the test first, for him to study. Then, I made another copy of the same summary replacing the answers with blanks. So, all he needed to do was fill the blanks with the correct answer.

I’ve given him ample time to ready and memorize the details in the summary before I finally made him answer the test. He did not do well in the first 2 pages, meaning, he remembered very little from the summary I gave him.

On the third page, however, it took him longer to study. But I was amazed that he nearly got a perfect score in the test. Even the spelling of the answers was perfect, so unlike Vincent. I felt funny, so I gave him the 4th page of the summary and observed him from a distance.

So, I saw how he brought out his cell phone and copied the itemized details in the summary. After a few minutes, I gave him the test and as expected, he nearly got a perfect score. But to show him that he didn’t outsmart me this time, I asked him, orally, the questions from the summary. He wasn’t able to answer any.

I didn’t know how I would feel, mad or sad. Mad at Vincent for cheating on the review or sad for him for cheating himself. Didn’t he realize that whatever he got from the review didn’t mean anything to me, that I exerted an effort to make him a test just so it would be easier for him to study. He didn’t cheat me, he cheated himself. He paid for my services but he didn’t learn anything..

It was simply.. sad :(

*not real name

For What I Am

My friend Karen* was a pretty, smart and promising young girl when he met Jay* the new kid in town. With his slightly slanted eyes and dimpled cheeks, Jay was adorably cute. However, his looks was his only redeeming quality as he was known to be a problem kid since he arrived in our town. Needless to say, but he was involved in numerous brawls for the past 6 months.

Karen was perfectly aware of this so she was completely surprised the first time they got a chance to talk. Jay seems to be nice and friendly. He was polite and, as far as Karen’s assessment was concerned, one sincere guy.

Karen asked a lot of things about Jay and he answered truthfully. She learned that he grew up in affluence, but because of his father’s illness, all of their possessions were sold. After his father’s death, he and his mother were forced to come back to his mother’s hometown, ours. He has also been honest to admit that because of abundance in money, his brothers used to be addicted to marijuana and other prohibited drugs. As for himself, he didn’t deny that he he uses it as well, though not as much as his brothers did. Karen also learned that Jay is a black belter in Taekwondo and can take care of himself, or of both of them if the need arises. Karen was touched. He was so honest and endearing and he knew that Karen was out of his league. She was, as he put it, too straight.

But when love hits, it hits fast and right to the target. The young people fell in love. But as expected, the relationship became too controversial for them to handle, after all, they were just kids, barely 20 and not yet out of college in Karen’s case because Jay was still struggling his way to finish high school. I, for one, was against it, though I didn’t voice it out very vehemently, I made my point and the decision was Karen’s to make. I knew Karen was just being fair to Jay, she loved the guy and she wanted to give him a chance to prove himself worthy of her. But it proved to be so difficult because Jay couldn’t stay away from trouble. I believe he was trying but the odds were against him. Even if he was telling the truth, nobody believed him because of his record.

Karen wanted to keep him, to give him more time, to fight for the love she knew was right. But it was Jay who made the decision for both of them. He just loved her so much it was agony to see her suffer. He broke up with her because that’s what he thought was right, to let her go and let her find a better person.

That was 21 years ago. Now, Karen and Jay are both in my friends list in Facebook. I checked their profiles and I’m happy to know they are both settled. I wonder.. No, I don’t need to wonder, they were never meant to be.. Still, who knows..

*not real name

Daddy Knows Best

Brian* is in 4th year. He is studying in a small private school somewhere in Bulacan and he was my student for the UP College Admission Test review.

He is a quiet boy of 16. In fact, he is very quiet that even when we ask him, he usually never answer, he just.. smile. So, I learned to paraphrase my question and instead of asking for the answer, I would ask him if he knew the answer. To this, his most frequent answer is ‘no.’

He doesn’t know that children is a plural noun because he doesn’t even know the difference between a singular and plural noun. He couldn’t identify the subject in the sentence much more the form of the verb that agrees with it. When I found out that he doesn’t know whether the word cake is a name word (noun) or an action word (verb) I made my decision, I have to talk to his father. There is no way Brian is going to pass the UPCAT. How he passed his 3rd year in school, I have no idea, especially when I learned that he was even worse in Math and Science.

As his father usually picks him up at the parking area of the mall, I asked our Officer-In-Charge to please formally invite him to come over the center. And he did.

I began by asking about Brian’s performance in school and after a long silence he admitted that Brian was really not doing well. He said when he asked Brian why he was getting such low grades, the boy said that his classmates were so noisy that he couldn’t understand the lessons.

I waited until he was done talking and so explained to him (sparing him some painful details like the ‘children’ and the ‘cake’) that Brian seems to be unfamiliar with the basic rules of grammar. I also told him that his son has limited English vocabulary that affects his reading comprehension skills. So, I recommended that he enroll Brian in a tutorial center though not necessarily in ours but maybe somewhere closer to their house, or they may hire a private tutor. I told him that it will be better to do it while it’s still the first quarter of the school and the lessons are still few. And that, it will  help Brian not only in school but also in his future college education.

Brian’s father listened carefully and appeared to have understood what I was trying to tell him. He said, he is going to discuss it with his wife and decide whether to enroll the boy in our center or hire a private tutor. He thanked me sincerely and bid us goodbye.

Brian took the UPCAT last Saturday. We may not hope he would pass, we still prayed that he would..

Teachers are second parents. Generally, they love their students like their own children. I wish I could do more to help Brian, and as I believe parents know best when it comes to their children, I know his father would do the right thing..

*not real name

The Excursion

Our 5-month PLAYSCHOOL program officially started and as expected, we have nice students and 'not-so-nice’ students. One such student in the latter group is Izzy* a 3-year old bratinella whose habit is to make other people’s lives miserable.

Obviously, Izzy is spoiled, both by her parents. Her father is a businessman and her mother is a physician who is on-leave because of her second pregnancy. No wonder they enrolled Izzy in our program, brat as she is, she needs behavior modification before the birth of the new baby.

First and foremost, Izzy doesn’t want to be left by mommy, she wants mommy inside the play school, a practice which we greatly discourage as it contradicts the purpose of the program. So, we try to be firm about it. Unfortunately, Izzy’s mom is not as cooperative as we wish her to be. Instead of leaving Izzy to our care, she has the habit of showing herself to the little girl just when the girl is having fun. And sure enough, at the sight of her mother, Izzy would insist on having her inside disrupting the momentum of the entire class. And what more? Mommy would get inside the playschool and insist that Izzy doesn’t want her to go. The disappointed teacher, not wanting to embarrass the mother, would just keep quiet and focus on the other students.

Last week, the lesson was ‘proper use of escalator.’ The teacher got the students ready for a short visit to the nearest escalator to demonstrate how to ride it safely. As usual, Izzy wanted mommy to tag along. But teacher was firm. She gave Izzy 2 choices, either to leave mommy and go with them, or to stay with mommy and miss the demonstration. Izzy wanted to go, but she wanted mommy to go with her. Teacher said no and made the decision, they will leave Izzy behind. But every time they tried to leave, Izzy would start wailing and stomping her feet on the floor. So, Teacher would start convincing her again. This went on for a few minutes until Izzy’s classmates became restless. Now, Teacher really had no choice. One goodbye wave at Izzy and off she went with the class.

Izzy was crestfallen. She cried as if she wanted to die THEN AND THERE. So, mommy got up and led Izzy out of the school to where Teacher and classmates were having the demonstration. Once  again, Teacher’s purpose went down the drain..

How children would turn out depends on how the parents trained them in their formative years. If there is a chance to make them sensitive, considerate and responsible individuals, that chance is NOW while they are young. And one of the best ways to teach them is by being firm about rules and conditions.