Ralph* is an enormous boy of four. He is tall and fat for his age and he is used to getting what he wants and when he wants. Even his own mother is afraid to upset him lest he would throw up an earsplitting tantrum. When we asked the mother why he developed such behavior, the mother said Ralph’s father spoiled him beyond belief.
One day, I assisted the preschool teacher. Ralph, seeing that I was a new face looked hard at me with a sneer and stuck his tongue at me. Since our program includes behavior modification, I looked back at Ralph and told him it wasn’t nice to stick tongues at people. He stared at me as if he couldn’t belief I had the nerve to talk to him that way. He hardened his whole body, and with red face and closed fists in his sides, yelled at me..
“I don’t want to be nice!!!”
Undaunted, I faced him and gently said..
“Ralph, it’s not polite to yell at people..”
At this, he got even madder, probably because of being defied or because of my calm tone, I couldn’t tell..
“Get out of here!!” he yelled again, angrier and redder this time.
The preschool teacher felt it was time to interfere. As gentle as I was earlier, she said in a kind but firm voice..
"”Ralph, it’s not nice to talk like that to a teacher and even to anyone. Say ‘sorry’ to Teacher Kim and don’t do it again..”
Ralph dropped to the matted floor of the playschool and started a tantrum. He flailed his arms and kicked his legs and screamed. He hit the floor with his fists and kept on kicking. The preschool teacher and I made sure he wouldn’t hurt himself and the other children in the play school and behaved as if we ignore him.
We saw in our peripheral vision how his doting father got alarmed and was about to get inside the playschool but the mother stopped him and assured him that we know what we are doing.
After a while, Ralph noticed that no one was affected by his tantrums. He kept quiet, probably to listen, so the preschool teacher took the opportunity and asked him in her usual gentle voice.
“Are you ready to finish your work now, Ralph?”
“Yes” was the timid answer.
The teacher helped him up and sit down the chair beside me. I gave his paper and handed him a paint brush. He took it, so, I offered the cup of paint as if nothing happened. He worked quietly with an occasional glance at me, and I smiled at him sincerely every time and even asked if he needed any help. He wouldn’t answer but would look somewhere else.
It was the last time Ralph had a tantrum. The next time I assisted in their class, he sat beside me and we became friends after that.
*not real name
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