Friends for Convenience

By the end of summer, I received a very unexpected call. In my surprise, I grabbed my phone and asked the caller if he really was the name appearing on the screen. Even after he identified himself, I still couldn’t believe I was talking to him.

I learned eventually that he had a problem and he was asking me if I know of someone who could help him. I mentioned a number of people who I thought might do so and even provided him with cellphone numbers. Probably in really deep trouble, he forgot to ask me how I was. Funny, because I was dying to know how he had been.

I met this person more than 20 years ago and we had been friends since. Even after we graduated from college, we still got in touch with each other going out once in a while. He promised he would give me a ride in his very first car, he would take me places I’ve wanted to go, and so on. He was just starting his business at the time.

Then, he was given breaks after breaks. He had been so busy he probably forgot about me. A few years passed and I learned from someone else that he was making it big time. Guess he was making it real big he couldn’t spare a thought for an old buddy. But surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad about being ignored, I was just happy that he got what he’d always dreamed of, that makes one of us, right?

Then, after almost a decade, I received that call. So, he got my new number after all. I changed numbers 5 years ago and he was among those I informed, good thing I took the chance to let him know.

He asked if I know a lawyer. I got so worried I forgot to ask why he needed one. I just gave him the name and number of my lawyer-friend. It was a brief call but a welcome one for me. Afraid I might interfere with whatever problem he had that time, I waited for him to call again.

He did.  This time, the call was more cheerful. He said I was the first person that came into his mind because he knew he could always count on me and I would help him without asking any questions. Yes, I AM that. But for some reasons hearing him said it reminded me of the word convenient and it didn’t make me feel good. Then, he told me about himself and what had happened to him for the past 10 years.

I was glad and I told him so. But what really made me happy was his getting in touch in me. He asked me if we could go out just like old times and I said that would be very nice. That was several months ago. He’s been setting a schedule since then but he kept on cancelling it.

Well, I guess he’s just REALLY busy, huh?

The Promise

When I was in college, my boyfriend gave me a paperweight, an hourglass. For me it was just a pretty little thing with blue sand. What really touched my heart was the note written in the card attached to the gift. The note said:

“I shall not promise you FOREVER because forever is too short a time for my love. So, I shall but promise to love you each day and every year to come…”

I found it really sweet. Though it doesn’t mean anything now because we parted ways and we haven’t seen each other for a long time. As a matter of fact, why I still remember the entire note is a puzzle to me.

Maybe I just have a good memory or maybe the note stuck in the memory because it is such a sweet sweet promise. But just like any other promise, it was meant to be broken and IT, indeed, was…

Against the Odds

Nick* and Flor* were just out of high school when they eloped and for that, they lost the support of their families and they received numerous thumbs downs from the elders.

Without money of their own and with their families against them, they only had brains and determination between the two of them. Aware that Flor was smarter than he was, Nick worked for both of them, as a messenger, as a waiter and even as a janitor. He sent Flor to college and after four years, Flor had become a teacher.

With her good credentials, Flor was accepted to teach in high school then she sent Nick to college. It took longer for Nick to finish his course because he was working and studying at the same time. Then, Flor had their first baby and they had to take turns babysitting.

After six years in college, Nick finally finished his course and became a teacher like his wife. They had two more children. Now, in their late fifties, they are among the finest and most respectable couple in our town.

Cheers to you, Sir and Ma’am!

 *not real name

Losing Something

I discovered I could sing when I was a teenager. Though I wasn’t blessed with an extraordinary voice, I know I can sing and I enjoy it. I may not be a professional singer, but I love it when I get off the mike and people would give me a thumbs-up which means they enjoyed my little performance.

Singing is a magical experience, in which you are able to express whatever it is you feel without the difficulty of choosing the right words and saving yourself from the embarrassment of being cheesy. It is both a private thing that separates the singer from the audience and a group experience shared by everyone who hears the song.

When I learned to play the guitar, I got to appreciate singing even more. I joined the church choir and sang for the Lord to give Him back the glory, though I didn’t know it at the time. When I went to college, my singing went from religious to secular. Then I did something that I would regret later, I abused my voice.

Last summer, when I offered tutorial at home, I just felt that my voice was breaking every time I sing with my student. I didn’t mind it at first, thinking that it will pass. It didn’t. Three months ago, I had laryngitis and was advised to rest my voice for two weeks. After two weeks, however, though I got my voice back, it breaks every time I speak. So, I couldn’t sing anymore, nor could I talk for a long period of time without a sore throat.

I’m afraid I lost my singing voice for good. I can’t describe what I actually feel. It’s too painful to think about it. Naturally, I want to blame someone, anyone, but there is no one to blame. Then, I want it back, but I know no amount of wishing would do.

I want to sing again. I want it so much it hurts. I’ve always known I’d lose my voice someday somehow, when I grow really old, but I didn’t know it would be this soon.

Not My Type of Love Affair

I met Rick* through his classmate who is a close friend of mine. If there is one guy I would call handsome (not simply good looking but handsome) well, that would be Rick.

I noticed, however, that Rick is one of those handsome guys who capitalize on looks and not on skills and much less on brains. My observation was confirmed when I learned that Rick was not among the students who graduated last March. Though my conclusion that he failed a subject was wrong, the reason for his exclusion from the graduating class was equally.. disappointing.

Obviously lazy, Rick nearly failed a subject during his second year. Fortunately, his professor, who was rumored to be gay helped him out. It was said that that was the beginning of their affair. According to their friends, it was the professor who was doing all of Rick’s homework and projects. In that regard, it seems like Rick was taking full advantage of the affair. However, it was also rumored that the professor was being possessive of Rick that he was not even allowed to go out with lady friends, only with guys.

Then last March, when Rick’s friends were about to graduate, the gay professor gave Rick a grade of INCOMPLETE disqualifying him from being a candidate for graduation, When I asked why would the professor do that, my friend answered that he probably did not want to let Rick go yet. Maybe this semester or the next, or the next after that, or when Rick learn to study harder and pass the subject on his own. We never know.. :)

*not real name

Losing Track and Finding It

This is a RE-POST from my old blog and originally appeared on Sept. 22, 2013. This is re-posted to save the article for sentimental reasons.

For quite some while, I lost track of what I really wanted in life.. I suffered from the terrible feeling that nothing was going right anymore. It seems like my life was wasting away right before my eyes while I stand and watch.

It wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all..

I started to panic. I knew I had to do something, but I couldn’t remember what it was. I had to start all over again and I asked myself the most basic of all questions. What do I really want to do with my life?

As soon as I realized the answer, I started to plan.. again. Then, I began to pray.. hard. I let the Lord know what I want and I asked him to please give it to me, because if he did, it would make me happy and I perfectly know the Lord wants me to be happy and I know he knows what ‘s best for me. Then, I felt this strange feeling of having something heavy and hard lifted from my chest then I started to expect for.. something. Every morning I get up from bed feeling very excited with the overwhelming anticipation that it might be the day the something nice would come.

And one day it really did come. Now, I’m back on track. My goal is still up ahead but I can see it from here. Every day, I thank the Lord for giving me hope, hope that I can still be what I want to be and I can still have what I want in life, and faith, faith in God and faith in the skills He gave me, for surely, he gave me those skills for a reason.

Life is indeed beautiful, not for what is in it but for what you make of it.  

Small World

Leth* was a naughty girl. She was basically sweet, friendly, smart actually, but, yes.. naughty. Maybe she didn’t mean it but she played around other people’s feelings. I knew that she didn’t have any intention of doing that, but for some reasons, she always ended up hurting other people.

When we went to college, she left behind a lovesick boyfriend, Rudy. Actually.. Rudy was, I don’t know. All I knew was that she didn’t like him that much and she just accepted him because he was NICE, yes, that’s the word, nice.

Okay, so, we went to college and she met someone. He wasn’t as naive and endearing as Rudy but just as nice. That word again, nice. It was clear that she was flirting with the new guy, Joey, though I believed also that she didn’t like him much. Just the same, when Joey asked him if she had a boyfriend, she said ‘no’.

Well, we became friends with Joey, both of us, though it was obvious that he was smitten with Leth. I guess he really really liked her because he said he would visit us in the province on Christmas vacation. He said he has a relative in our town. Oh, well, inventing relatives, for me, wasn’t good, no good at all.

On Christmas vacation, we went home and Leth was reunited with Rudy. She seemed genuinely pleased to see him, but, I still had my doubts. After all, she denied his existence, right? Several days passed and the vacation was nearly over. One day, someone came to visit. Actually, there were two of them. Can you guess who?

Yes, it was Joey. With him was Rudy who was his cousin. Well, it was true that he has a relative in our town after all.. :D

*not real name