Sweet Love Turned Poisonous

Cathy* was a second year college student when she met Harold*. Just one look at the boy and Cathy’s parents instantly disliked him. He was the epitome of a good-for-nothing guy who looks for all kinds of trouble. Cathy’s parents warned her to stay away from Harold. But just like other teenagers, Cathy didn’t listen.

They kept their relationship a secret. It was fun. And it was easy because her school was situated several miles from home and she and her sister Judy were just renting a boarding house. Cathy didn’t know which was more exciting, keeping their relationship a secret or defying her parents. But then, she suddenly noticed the change in Harold. He started to show aggressive behavior. Then, she began to notice some evidence that Harold was using prohibited drugs. It was then that she realized how right her parents were about her boyfriend. She talked with Harold to break up with him. Harold got mad and hit Cathy.

After a few months, Cathy’s younger sister Judy began to notice Cathy’s constant bruises, but Cathy didn’t want to talk about it. Judy started to worry and called her parents. Her parents came and forced the truth out of Cathy. They found out that not only was she constantly beaten by Harold, but he also extorted money from her. And now she was pregnant.

Cathy’s parents have Harold arrested. They kept the baby and after several months, Cathy gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Cathy went back to school while her mother adopted the baby and named him after them.

*not real name

Letting Go of Worries

One thing I hate about myself is that.. I worry too much. I don’t want to of course, but I can’t help myself. I worry about a lot of things, everything actually.

I always think about my husband who works abroad. I worry that he might get sick because of working too hard. I worry that my eldest daughter might get mugged and hurt on her way from school. I worry that my other daughter will get addicted to Facebook and texting and will fail in all of her subjects in school. I worry that my youngest son will be bullied in school.

On top of that, I worry about not being able to pay my bills. I worry that I won’t be able to send all my kids to college. I worry that I will die young and more other worries that I know are irrational.

No wonder I ended up having a complicated case of hyperacidity which caused laryngitis. Needless to say, I need to lie low on worrying. At first, I didn’t know how to do that. So, I started to pray and asked the Lord to teach me how to stop worrying. Then, it dawned on me what I had been doing all along. I was worrying about everything and not trusting the Lord to take care of things for me.

Since then, the moment I wake up in the morning, I thank the Lord for everything and ask him to take my worries and fears away. I ask him to watch over my loved ones and me. Assured that we are all in good hands, I would do things that I find enjoyable. When the bills come, I would pay them and wouldn’t think whether I would be able to pay next month.

In short, I’m starting to let go of my worries. It’s not easy, believe me, but I’m doing my best and  I do hope that in time, I would learn to live one day at a time and give all my worries to the Lord.

Entangled

Arlene* and Marc* were my classmates in my Caregiver Course. Arlene is an unwed mother. At 21, she was a pretty and hot mother of Sean, 4 years old at that time. Then, Marc came. He was living with Karen and they had 2 kids. Karen’s parents sent Marc to school hoping that he would be able to provide for Karen and the children. But then, Marc met Arlene. Then things got complicated.

Since we knew about Karen, Marc tried to disguise his interest in Arlene as, purely, friendly. But I was too old and had seen too many people with various expressions to know better. But I didn’t ask. First, because it was none of my business. The least I could do was express my concern. Second, because if they consider me a friend, I didn’t need to ask, they would tell me if they wanted to.

Of the two, it was Arlene who was closer to me. And as I expected, she came to me one day and told me about her feelings to Marc and that Marc felt the same way about her. I knew she wasn’t asking me for advice, she was just letting me know what’s going on. Still, I had to have my say. I didn’t take Karen’s side nor Arlene and Marc’s but I reminded them that there were children involved, and not just any other children but THEIRS.

Several months ago,  I saw Arlene and Sean. Arlene was pushing a stroller with a cute baby girl, Marc’s and hers.

Accepting Your Nature

One of the most difficult things in life is knowing your flaws. But more difficult still is accepting those flaws. We may try to change ourselves, which is usually the most sensible thing to do, but more often than not, we end up frustrated.

I was already in college when I realized how disorganized a person I was. I thought at first that I was just too lazy, too lazy to clean up, too lazy to put things back, too lazy to do anything. So, I tried.. and tried… and tried, but I ended hating myself because I couldn’t be as organized as other people.

Then, I started working and I realized that I wasn’t lazy at all. I was a student assistant in my university but in a year that I worked,  I never called in sick, nor did I come to work late. As a matter of fact, I even worked overtime without filing for overtime pay while completing my OJT in Industrial Psychology, writing my thesis and writing my case study in Clinical Psychology. I am, in fact, a hard worker.

When I started to work officially after college, I realized another painful and embarrassing truth, I couldn’t work in a clean and organized surrounding. I was more at home with, yes.. mess.

Needless to say, my table was the most cluttered and messy table in a company of hundreds employees. I tried cleaning it but my attempt at organizing took me only as far as alphabetizing my suppliers’ file, and that’s all. What surprised my boss and my co-workers, however, was that I was always the first to hand in daily, weekly and monthly reports. Not only that, my reports were flawless and user friendly. I could find anything, anything, they asked of me in a matter of seconds, about 2 minutes tops. What more, I could answer every single question they asked of me even without consulting my file which I bring out only for reference, in case they wouldn’t take my word for it.

It doesn’t mean though that I would take being organized for granted. I still believe that other people prefer to be neat and organized but at this point in time, I think I just have to accept what I’m not and use what I am for my advantage.

When Things Get Tough

Pearl* is a distant cousin of mine. We grew up together, and when we got old, our closeness though waned a little, did not completely disappear.

When she fell in love and married Zack*, for some reasons, we were disconcerted. But since all we wanted was her happiness, we had to be happy for her. They seemed happy alright. Zack proved to be a good provider. Pearl was like a queen. She put up a buy and sell business and money lending. Though we didn’t conform with her high interest, we left her alone.

After ten years, Zack crossed paths with his ex-girlfriend. It wasn't long before he left his family to go live with the other woman. So, Pearl had to work to support their three kids,. Then the youngest, a girl of barely a year old, was diagnosed with cancer. Pearl had to sell all the properties she and Zack had acquired. No support came from Zack. It was Pearl alone who took all the responsibilities.

After two years of chemotherapy, the little girl died, leaving Pearl physically exhausted and emotionally battered.

 *not real name

Question Answered

Thirteen years ago, on this same day, my father was reunited with our creator. It was the dreadful big ‘C’. Two years prior to that, both my parents migrated to the United States to live with my sister Liz. It was a dream come true for my father and for a while, he lived the dream and I was happy for him.

I thank the Lord for giving him those two years. But more than that, I thank Him for the last whole month He gave my father so that he could live with us, for the opportunity He gave us to tend to my father’s needs and show my father how much he meant to us.

When my father was laid to his final resting place. I had a question more important than the others. Had I been a good daughter? Had I been smart enough and kind enough? Had I been the daughter he hoped and wanted me to be? Had he been proud of me?

At the time, my children were still very young and they needed my attention. So, I had to get hold of myself, I couldn’t succumb to grief. I had to set aside the pain of losing one of the most important persons in my life. I was not able to mourn for my father properly. So, that question lingered, and it lingers still..

Had I been a good daughter?

Now, as I look at my own children, I think I have the answer. My children may not be the nicest and the smartest kids, but they are mine and I raise them with love and affection only a mother could give, and they are my pride and joy, and that is the answer. Neither technology nor modernization could change what children are to their parents.

I am proud of my children as my father was of me..

The WOMAN

Dory* was a widow with three children when I got to know her. In fairness to her, she was a hard worker. She sold various things from frozen meat to plastic wares. Then she met Dindo* and they got married. Dindo was quiet but very nice. He took Dory and helped her raise her kids. After a few years, Dindo and Dory had two children of their own.

Dindo worked abroad and Dory put up a business. She started a piggery and a poultry. She also bought and sold rice by wholesale. From an impoverished widow, Dory became a cunning businesswoman. But she was still not contented. There was something more she wanted. So, I wasn’t surprised when I learned that Dory got a lover, a handsome police officer who was known to be a womanizer in our town.The affair went on for a few years until Dindo found out. I didn’t know how, but he just did. Dindo broke up with Dory but Dory got to keep the business and the children who received financial support from their father.

After a few more years, Dr. Javier, a physician who has lived in the US for decades has come back in our town. He met Dory when one of her children got sick and was taken to the doctor’s clinic. Dory learned that Dr. Javier was just back in our town for a visit and more importantly, that Dr. Javier was a widow.Before long, it was rumored that they were having an affair. Soon, Dr. Javier went back to the States. After several months, Dory left her children to join him.

As was natural, the townspeople got tired of talking about Dory. And that was when her two younger children left to join their mother and Dr. Javier in the States.

For some reasons, when I think of the word WOMAN, I think of Dory..

 *not real name