Accepting Your Nature

One of the most difficult things in life is knowing your flaws. But more difficult still is accepting those flaws. We may try to change ourselves, which is usually the most sensible thing to do, but more often than not, we end up frustrated.

I was already in college when I realized how disorganized a person I was. I thought at first that I was just too lazy, too lazy to clean up, too lazy to put things back, too lazy to do anything. So, I tried.. and tried… and tried, but I ended hating myself because I couldn’t be as organized as other people.

Then, I started working and I realized that I wasn’t lazy at all. I was a student assistant in my university but in a year that I worked,  I never called in sick, nor did I come to work late. As a matter of fact, I even worked overtime without filing for overtime pay while completing my OJT in Industrial Psychology, writing my thesis and writing my case study in Clinical Psychology. I am, in fact, a hard worker.

When I started to work officially after college, I realized another painful and embarrassing truth, I couldn’t work in a clean and organized surrounding. I was more at home with, yes.. mess.

Needless to say, my table was the most cluttered and messy table in a company of hundreds employees. I tried cleaning it but my attempt at organizing took me only as far as alphabetizing my suppliers’ file, and that’s all. What surprised my boss and my co-workers, however, was that I was always the first to hand in daily, weekly and monthly reports. Not only that, my reports were flawless and user friendly. I could find anything, anything, they asked of me in a matter of seconds, about 2 minutes tops. What more, I could answer every single question they asked of me even without consulting my file which I bring out only for reference, in case they wouldn’t take my word for it.

It doesn’t mean though that I would take being organized for granted. I still believe that other people prefer to be neat and organized but at this point in time, I think I just have to accept what I’m not and use what I am for my advantage.