Song for Annie

Annie* is a smart girl from a poor family. Their mother died when they were young and being the eldest daughter, she assumed the responsibility of taking care of her younger siblings. She worked hard to send them to school. She was driven by ambition that she even applied as a cultural dancer in Japan when she was 18. Still underage at the time, she passed the screening but her application was declined. She was asked to stand by and come back when she turn 21.

When she turned 20, however, she met Benjie, the youngest son of a former engineering contractor. Benjie carried with him the sophistication and finesse of ‘the upper class.’ This got and lured Annie to the unfamiliar world of those that glitter which are not gold. It took her only a few months to realize that Benjie is just a useless and oversized action figure in the family. He never finished college. He never worked a single day in his life except when he joins his father’s construction and get paid for one day of sitting and fooling around with the workers. Still, Annie hoped and believed that Benjie will come to realize that a person needs to work in order to live. Benjie, however, didn’t show any sign of changing for the better. He’s just so used to the comfortable life of a ‘spoiled brat’ and he has no plans of changing any of that.

When Annie gave birth to their first born, she decided to leave Benjie. She thought it better to live as a single parent and raise her child alone than to feed an enormous couch potato who doesn’t even wash the glass he drinks on. She went back to her family. But after a few months, Benjie came over and insisted his right to be with his son, a fact that even Annie couldn’t contest. So, he stayed, but not for long. Annie’s father, realizing the kind of person her daughter lives with, sent him out of his house, but Benjie wouldn’t leave without his family. Annie and their child had to go with him. Refusing to live with Benjie’s family, Annie was forced to rent a house.

That was about 10 years ago. If there’s anything that changed about Benjie, it’s that he got older, he’s stouter for too much sitting around and lazier than he used to be. And Annie? Working harder than ever. When I asked her why she couldn’t leave Benjie, she said she didn’t want her, now 3, children to live without a father. And when I asked why they aren’t married yet, she said Benjie never asked her..

So, is that love? :(

*Not real name

Could Not Buy Consideration

A re-post from my old blog

As one of those companies that offer services instead of goods, we normally advise our clients to call us first for an appointment as we prepare our everyday schedule ahead of time. That is to avoid not being able to accommodate a new arrival in case the teacher is already engaged in a class.

Last month, our Math teacher, Teacher Rob,  filed a leave of absence. So, his schedule was cancelled. But we contacted the main office to lend us another Math teacher, in case of special appointments.

On the second day of his leave, one of his regular students, Jana*, a grade 2 pupil, and her mother showed up and the mom demanded that the child be taught that day. We were surprised because Jana was not in the schedule. So, we asked the mom if she placed a call before they came over, because if she did, we could have informed her that Teacher Rob would not be in on that day, but she said, they are regular clients, why does she need to call first?

So, we patiently explained that Teacher Rob is not around, but if it's okay with her we could ask for another teacher from the main office and have Jana scheduled the following day in case it's a kind of emergency, a Math contest or something, though it was actually Christmas vacation.

The mom didn't want any of that. She told us to call Teacher Rob and have him come or give his cellphone number to her so she can call him herself. So, we said we're not allowed to give away our employees' cellphone numbers unless with consent.

Furious and disappointed, she dragged Jana away from our center murmuring about incompetent employees and having money to pay for the services.

It is true that we offer our services, but we don't offer our services ALL THE TIME. We are ordinary people. We can choose to work as much as we can choose to rest. We are not slaves of clients who just happen to have more money than we make with out meager salaries. Maybe they have money, but they couldn't buy KINDNESS and CONSIDERATION and any other virtue that makes a person.. A PERSON.

*Not real name

What's A PRESCHOOL Teacher Made of?

Although I have been teaching READING to preschoolers, I haven’t been officially handling a class for a long time now. I can’t actually call it a demotion because since I focused on English programs for older children and adults, I could no longer accommodate preschool. So, the company hired a preschool teacher two years ago.

Luckily, my colleague turned out to be one of the best preschool teachers the company had ever hired. However, just recently, she was given an opportunity to try something that she has always wanted to do. So, just as I expressed my intention to leave the company, she did, too. With both of us gone, no one was to handle our preschoolers.

The company wasted no time. There was a flood of resumes and applicants fell in line, hoping to be given a chance to do what we do. The first to be given that chance was a fresh graduate of Early Childhood Education course. She lasted two weeks. The second was a mother who had an experience to tutor small children. She, too, was overwhelmed with the tasks and responsibilities of a preschool teacher that I won’t be surprised if she leaves sooner than I.

So, what really makes a good preschool teacher?

First and foremost, a preschool teacher LOVES children… unconditionally. It may seem so sweet but teaching small children is a challenging task that only few gifted people can do. A preschool teacher is a person with infinite patience and not just a paid employee. A preschool teacher is of pure heart and she shares what’s inside that heart to her students. A preschool teacher shares a part of herself to her students making her a part of them until they grow old. A preschool teacher has the power to MAKE or BREAK a child and only a GOOD preschool teacher will choose to do what’s right..

To my colleague, Teacher Hazel, a toast to you. May you find happiness in the road that you chose. I believe in my heart, though, that you will be back to teaching as soon as you realize that this is what you really wanted to do in life, and, we will see each other again, because a TEACHER is always a teacher, and that’s what we both are.. Good luck!

The Wicked Witch of Fairview

Last week, during Nathan's* off from work, he went to the mall to withdraw some money and buy some stuff that he and his girlfriend, Irene, might need. He was gone for about 2 hours. When he came home, he found his girlfriend waiting for him. She asked for the ATM receipt. Nathan felt his pockets and brought out all the contents but couldn't find the transaction receipt. So, he just said, that maybe it got mixed with other papers and he accidentally threw it away so, he just told her how much he withdrew from the card. To this his girlfriend answered "Maybe you just don't want me to know what time you were at the mall."

Nathan was shocked. So, that's what the receipt was for, evidence. He just shook his head and left the room. Nathan and Irene were together for 8 years now. They have a daughter who stays with her girlfriend's parents. What Nathan couldn't understand until now is Irene's unreasonable and excessive jealousy. She never let Nathan out of her sight except when they're both at work. Even then, Irene would text Nathan and ask where he is when she knows that he is at work already. At Nathan's home, where they stay, she never want Nathan out of the room, nor does she want him to go to the living room and talk with his family. When her whims are contradicted, she makes a scene so embarrassing that Nathan had to give in to avoid further embarrassment.

She deleted Nathan's phone book, that what's left is just her number, those of Nathan's family members, mine, as he can still text me (maybe Irene is not jealous of me, lol!) and maybe a few more. Of Nathan's former high school friends, college friends and colleagues, nothing was left.

Nathan and I have been working together for almost 3 years now and I heard a lot of such stories. Now, every time Nathan tells me an incident about her girlfriend similar to the one I wrote above, I would give my usual comment, 'break up with her, she's not healthful for you,' until he got fed up with me and just stopped. I know I'm being such a callous, insensitive, harsh and diabolical witch, but honestly, I just couldn't help it. I have to say what I really feel about the matter.

I know my friend suffers, and he suffered long enough, but he just couldn't find a way out, because he thinks there is no way out. And if he is convinced of that, then maybe there really ISN'T ANY...

*not real name

The Unhappy Kid

Gab* is 17 years old. He is a good looking kid. He is a son of one of the owners of a popular stuffed toy stores here. He goes to an exclusive school for boys and he is, I admit, quite smart. I learned that besides being a rich man’s son, he already has his own budding business. He takes orders for souvenir items like friendship band or something like it.

Wow, this kid really started early, I thought.

So, I was kind of impressed and thought how lucky this kid is for having such a comfortable life. I imagine a lot of unemployed people who fight tooth and nail for any vacancy in order to earn something to feed their families while this kid earn more than P15,000 a month. Life really isn’t so fair.

Then, one morning, my colleague showed me a text message from Gab. The time was 2:35am and the text message said: “Please talk to me, I feel so lonely..”

So, the kid isn’t that lucky after all.

It made me think about my children. They don’t live luxuriously, in fact, they are actually deprived of material things. But, they never get hungry. There’s always food on the table and they always pay on or before the due date. They don’t have any problem with projects or anything they need to buy for school. So, do they text messages like that? Do they ever get lonely?

Looking at my kids and how they play, and laugh and make fun of each other, I wish with my whole heart that they are not unhappy like my student Gab.

*not real name

The Least Favorite Child

Nina* is four years old. Barely a month after her birth, her mommy left her to grandmother, who, in turn, took care of her because Nina has two more older sisters that mommy takes care of. I didn’t ask why mommy can take care of the older two girls but can’t take care of Nina.

Some time this summer, mommy finally took Nina from grandmother and enrolled her in preschool last June. Nina is a very quiet little girl, she knows more Visayan words than Pilipino (Tagalog). She keeps to herself, plays alone and simply looks at us with expressionless eyes. She doesn’t seem to care also that her mom picks her up 2 hours after the class.

We didn’t mind. Surely, she’d open up soon enough. What got us worried and in a way frustrated is that, she always comes to school with homework undone. And then she began throwing tantrums. She cried very loudly and screamed at US, ‘I don’t like you!!!.’ Her teacher told mommy about it, but mommy justified that she got the behavior from her older cousins. Then Nina started hitting her classmates.. UNPROVOKED.

This time, teacher asked mommy to come over. Mommy admitted that Nina is her ‘least favorite child’ and that she couldn’t bring herself to love her as much as she loves the other two older girls. She reasoned that maybe because Nina was raised by grandmother.

Last month, Nina didn’t join the field trip. Her older sisters have exams and mommy is simply too busy helping them review their lessons.

I know for a fact that favoritism is common, in school, at home and even in friends. But that fact, I think, doesn’t make it less painful as it is to the least favorite..

 *not real name

Mr. Right?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

He is tall, fair-complexioned, handsome, athletic, smart and multi-talented. He is one 'HOT' guy. He is among the most popular basketball players in school, consistent winner of various Quiz Shows and recipient of various awards including the prestigious Leadership Award. We met in the university when we were 20 years old.

From a distance, he seems to be SO charmingly MAGNETIC. With his neat, regularly shaven face graced with thick, curly lashes, perfectly sculptured nose above full lips, he is simply gorgeous.

When a girl sees a guy like that, the first question that pops her head is 'Does he have a girlfriend?' If the answer is 'no' well, then, that would be great, it means she has a chance with him. But if the answer is 'yes' well, the girl thinks 'who cares, all is fair in love and war.'

In this particular case, he didn't have a girlfriend. I was curious. I befriended the guy which was not at all difficult for a straightforward, uninhibited girl like myself. I found out in no time why he didn't have any girlfriend. In fact, he never had one, yet. He was the MOST BORING person I have ever met in my entire life.

For one, he didn't seem to know how to start a conversation, so I have to do that. I did the asking and he simply did the answering. If I didn't ask, he wouldn't answer. Then we wouldn't talk at all. Second, when I asked, his answers were very short as if he was thinking that I didn't need any elaboration. Third, his answers were too technical as if he was actually reporting in class and not talking to a real live girl.

That's when I realized that 'LOOKS' isn't all that matters. As I walked home that day, I was somehow satisfied with what I did for three reasons. First, I was able to talk with the popular 'heart throb', second, I found out why he didn't have any girlfriend and finally, I found out that physical appearance doesn't matter much when it comes to having a relationship. Yes, it does, but not THAT MUCH..

Who Was Embarrassed

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Little Ronnie* is an energetic boy of 3. To prepare him for the preschool, his mom let him ‘sit-in’ our play school, a program which involves singing, coloring, tracing, pasting, painting and some activities which aim to develop the psychomotor skills.

His mommy actually wanted to enroll him in a ‘higher program’ because according to her, Ronnie already knows all the lessons in the play school like the colors, shapes, numbers and letters of the alphabet. I don’t doubt her, Ronnie really looks smart, still, I recommended an assessment.

By the looks of it, Ronnie seems to be used to being the only child. He wants ALL of the toys around him, he doesn’t want to share, he doesn’t want to play with the other kids, either. He doesn’t want to listen to the teacher. He just wants to knock things out of the way and enjoys the sound of toys crashing down the floor.

About 15 minutes before the end of the session, he spotted Annie, a little girl, smaller than he is, playing a plastic toy pot. He smirked, went to Annie and snatched the toy away from the little girl. As expected, the girl cried. Ronnie’s mommy, getting frustrated with his son’s behavior comforted Annie and asked her son to give the toy back to the girl adding that she would buy him a dozen of it later. Ronnie screamed ‘NO!!’ and punched his mother hard in the face.

The scene got very uncomfortable, with Ronnie still screaming, and his mommy red in the face, with embarrassment and pain (I supposed). I no longer remember what happened after that, but I never see Ronnie or his mother again.

*not real name

Solitude Incarnate

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Elisa* is a member of a popular clan in our place. That fact, in addition to her being the topnotcher in her class made her extremely arrogant. When she went to college, among those very few who did, her arrogance became even more defined. She took up Bachelor of Science in Accountancy and, after her graduation, was able to work in a company in Makati. I was in high school at the time and for me it was simply.. IMPRESSIVE.

Her parents, more arrogant than she was, looked down on people and began to talk more sarcastically than they used to. It was as if having a piece of agricultural land, a small 'sari-sari' store and a Makati girl for a daughter made them lord over people. Some of us talked among ourselves, some cursed them behind their backs and even some anticipated that the time will come to these people to learn a lesson in humility.

Time elapsed and soon, we, younger people got older and got married. Elisa, however, remained single. Some said she was too picky, while meaner people said nobody wanted her, lol! I vouched for the former.

About 8 years ago, I heard that she was finally getting married. The lucky guy was  a member of an even more popular clan. He was born in our place but studied and lived somewhere else. We personally knew him and for us it was a perfect match. Though I wasn't there, I knew the wedding was a HIT. My relatives kept talking about it for weeks.

After a few months, however, the groom bid his bride goodbye to visit some relatives. He never came back. Elisa followed his husband and learned the truth. Her husband was married to someone else. She didn't see them though, as the family moved out a week earlier. Furious beyond belief, Elisa hired a lawyer intending to file a case of bigamy. She went to the local civil registry to get a copy of their marriage contract as evidence that will incriminate her husband. There was NONE. Their marriage was a big, expensive hoax.

Elisa left our place for a while and stayed in Manila longer than she used to do. I didn't know what happened to the case. I didn't ask. For me, everything was impossibly outlandish. Was everything planned to put Elisa and her family to shame? Or did the groom really love her but simply happened to be married to someone else?

Whatever it was, I'm just thankful that my life is less complicated than hers.

*not real name

Little Lyra

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Lyra* just turned 4 recently. She’s a cute little thing with shiny straight hair and big expressive eyes. She’s very talkative and outspoken. It was pretty obvious that her aunt (I never met her mom) and her grandmother and maybe the rest of the family, adore her and that they are very vocal about it.

They enrolled her to my reading and writing class. Apparently, they all think that she is old and smart enough for the program, and why wouldn’t she? It’s just letters and tracing, how difficult could that get? They didn’t even have her assessed. They simply enrolled.

The moment she sat beside me I smelled trouble. She was extremely talkative, for one, and she was SO AT EASE with adults, which is not SO COMMON with kids her age.

And I was right, she may be smart, but she didn’t want to work… AT ALL. She just wanted to talk, and she wanted to talk about things about her, and nothing else. As a teacher, I tried to assert my authority by reminding her from time to time to finish what she’s doing and all that. The following day, her aunt talked to me and told me NOT TO PUSH Lyra too hard, and that they are worried that she may be traumatized if I do that. I told her my observation of her niece, but she just smiled and said that Lyra is just like that because she’s a little spoiled. 

Lyra’s program ended yesterday and I was left frustrated knowing that I wasn’t able to teach her anything she didn’t know yet. Her writing got a little better alright, but it was something she could have done even if she stayed at home..

*not real name

Messing Up with DepEd?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Besides tutorial center, our company also has a preschool and a grade school. Last Friday, a mom asked me if our formal school offers subjects like Filipino and Sibika, subjects taught in Pilipino (Tagalog), our native tongue.

So, I answered ‘of course’ as we follow the curriculum of the Department of Education. She smirked and said  something about Tagalog subjects being irrelevant since they wouldn’t be used when a child grows up and that we should concentrate on a child’s English proficiency.

I was outraged. It took me an enormous amount of self-control not to tell her that that’s what being educated is all about, knowing THYSELF, thy culture and therefore thy language.

Just because I’m an English teacher doesn’t mean I’m turning my back on my native tongue. I love it as much as I love my country. I looked at the woman in front of me and answered as politely as I could that our school tries to train students to be intelligent and responsible future leaders of our country. I don’t know if that was the answer I should have given, but it was the best I could come up with at the time.

I felt sad about the whole thing.. I do believe we should love our language more than that woman did..

The Bride

This is a re-post from my old blog.

The bride was Aling Luisa* 50 plus years old getting married to Mang Tibo* a few years older than she.

Aling Luisa has been a widow for as long as I can remember. She has 2 children that she sends to school by selling groceries in our local market. Her daughter was one of my personal acquaintances.

During the late 80s, the wife of a known businessman in our town died. Mang Tibo, the widower, was left with 3 grown up children. He was in mourning for a year. After another year, he asked the hand of Aling Luisa in marriage.

I was astounded.

But the older generation seemed not to be surprised at all. So, I asked the story behind the 'wedding' and so I was told. Aling Luisa and Mang Tibo used to be sweethearts. But Aling Luisa's parents preferred a different man for her. So, the young lovers broke up and lived separate lives. Aling Luisa's husband died while their children were but young. She struggled and fought her way to provide for them. Because of her still visible youth, she was courted by widowers and bachelors alike, but she politely turned them down and focused on her children's education.

Then, Mang Tibo's wife passed away. He sincerely mourned for his wife and took care of their children. After a year, he went out of mourning and courageously expressed his intentions to marry Aling Luisa after all these years. Aling Luisa happily accepted and they got married.

That was about 20 years ago. I don't know if the two old people are still alive, but their story remains in my mind until now..

*not real names

Is Your Child 'English-Speaking'?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Our center offers Speech and Communication Program for Kids. Well, I  enjoy teaching this program less than the one for Adults but I sincerely find it.. FUN.

I don’t have any trouble teaching this program, my trouble involves parents and their UNREALISTIC expectations from it. When I ask clients why they are interested about the program, they normally answer that they want their children to be ‘English Speaking.’ They obviously overlook the fact that the entire program runs only for 12 hours, that is 1 and a 1/2 hours for eight days ONLY. Surely, they don’t expect their kids to talk in spontaneous English after 12 hours.

Some people just don’t get it. If they want their children to speak in English, then, they, themselves, have to talk to them in English at home. They don’t necessarily have to really talk, as in conversationally, teaching the children common English words will help. They can start with the things found at home like chair, bed, spoon, anything…

Cartoons need not be TAGALIZED so kids would enjoy Spongebob, Dora, Wonder Pets and the like. Education starts at home and parents do not need Education units to teach their children.

Shame on.. Whom?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Ryan* is 21 years old. He is already a graduate of Bachelor of Science course and he is presently taking up English Enhancement Program from me.

Because he got a very low grade in the assessment test, I asked him what the problem was. To this he answered that he doesn’t understand much of the English words. So, I gave him reading materials intended for sixth grader but still he got 10 incorrect answers out of 20. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that he couldn't figure out what a ‘canoe’ is even when the sentence says ‘They used a canoe to cross the river’ (which surely gives an idea that a canoe is something like a boat).

I also found out that he is not familiar with the basic rules in grammar like plural forms and possessive nouns. It saddens me to realize that our schools let a student graduate without knowing the difference between girls and girl’s.

Is there really something wrong? Or I just have an UNREALISTICALLY high standard?

*not real name

The "Unica Hija"

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Penny* was the only girl in the family. She was the princess and everybody waits on her. She had the most beatiful toys and dresses. Her hair was adorned with colorful ribbons and glittering hair clips. She was, for her family, a living doll.

I met her in high school. Though not as pretty as her family claimed her to be, she really was glamorously dressed. Her parents spent 'big money' on her whims and caprices. Her 18th birthday probably was one of the grandest occasions the town has ever witnessed, so I heard. I was not invited.

It was therefore one of the biggest and juiciest news when Penny, a few months after her debut, ran away with a local farmer's son who was then an engineering student under scholarship grant.  Her parents, incredulous of their daughter's choice of husband tried to get her back and even filed a kidnapping case against her boyfriend. But the night they got Penny home, she fled.

Denounced by her own parents, Penny married her boyfriend and lived just like the rest of us, poor but striving. My sister, Liz and I saw her with her husband in Isetann Plaza, Manila about 20 years ago. They ordered a plate of spaghetti and a tall glass of halo-halo down in the food court. Gossips as we were, we watched as they exchanged food when they thought no one was looking..

If that is not love, then I don't know what it is..

*not real name

Mommy VS Grandma

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Bo* is 5 years old. He is now in Kinder. He was brought to the tutorial center because it seems like he is learning very little in school.

During assessment, Bo was obviously distracted. He can identify the letters of the alphabet but not all. When asked about anything, he would nod his head… followed by a vigorous shake. His hand grip on the pencil is also not firm. So, I told the parents about this. The father, then, asked if Bo would learn to read and write if he enrolls him in 8-hour tutorial. I thought ‘wow, this dad is so amusing.' So, we answered him that Bo’s progress depends on how willing he is to work with us.

I eventually found out, from Grandma, that Bo watches TV the whole day. She also said that she has been telling the working parents, her daughter-in-law in particular, to lessen Bo’s time for watching TV and give more time to other educational activities like coloring, tracing, object identification from books, etc..

Mom, on the other hand, said that every time she teaches Bo his lessons and the boy refuses, Grandma, her mother-in-law, would interfere and take the boy’s side on the matter.

Well, aren’t they pointing fingers at each other? In that case, it won’t do Bo, any good. The bottom line is, we have to work together so the boy would learn.

*not real name

Love Conquers All

This is a re-post from my old old.

Jiro* was one of my closest friends in high school. He was kind, and sweet, and thoughtful and very understanding for a friend. He was of average intelligence and though not exceptionally good looking was very neat and orderly that he is pleasant enough to look at. I can still remember how he escorted me in school activities and did things only a true friend will do. When we graduated from high school, I was so happy that I didn't notice how dismal he looked. I learned later that his mother entered him in the SEMINARY. I couldn't understand why instead of feeling happy about that, I felt kind of.. I don't know, sad maybe.

In the next years to come, I regularly see him not only when I attended masses but also when he took some time to visit me in our house just like the old days. For some reasons unknown to me, he knew I didn't like his being in the seminary. We never talked about it. It's as if it was enough that he knew. Until one day, he asked me the question I'd been trying to avoid all those years.Why didn't I like his being in the seminary? My answer was simple enough for me, because there are already plenty of good priests but few good husbands and fathers, and that though I will be happy if he becomes a priest, I will be happier to meet the lucky girl he would marry someday. He just nodded and smiled.

After 5 years, though I wasn't supposed to be surprised, I still was, to find out that he already did marry. He left the seminary against his mother's wishes and married the woman he loved whom he met about 5 years ago, which incidentally was the time he asked me his question. I was happy for him. We talked over the cell phone with plans of setting a date for his family and mine. It never did take place though, because he'd been busy with his printing business and I, with my work. But I didn't know that it NEVER WILL take place, because after 3 years, I received a very sad news. His young wife died of heart attack. We were only 28 at the time..

Just like a good friend, I offered my condolences and tried to console him. But it seems as if he didn't need it. He was strong and brave and hopeful despite what happened. But looking at the pictures of his 2 beautiful kids, I understood where he got his strength, and courage and hope..

Love conquers all. And only love can conquer love..

What A Child Needs

This is a re-post from my old blog.  

Leila* was a typical 4 year-old little girl when I handled her during the summer of last year. She is a lively child, very talkative, very pretty and really polite. I like her and all of us teachers in the center like her.

Despite her talkative nature, she is smart and so learns easily. My only problem with Leila was that she gets too sleepy at the middle of the session. There was even one time that she practically fell asleep.

I talked to her mom and told her about it. I found out then that Leila wakes up at 5:30 to prepare for her ‘modeling session’, after that comes her 'ballet lesson'. From ballet she will then go to our center for her 'reading lesson' with me. After that she will go to 'swimming lesson', then finally goes home. EVERY DAY.

I was speechless. I wanted so much to remind the mom that Leila is a child, she gets exhausted and that she needs to rest. But mom’s facial expression was hard, even for a teacher like myself, to penetrate, and the least I could do was to say “Oh, that’s why. Well, maybe she needs some rest..’ but mom didn’t seem to hear.

By the way, Leila eats her lunch in the car on her way to our center.. Poor child..

*not real name

The Runaway

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Charlotte* is a Filipina who was born and who grew up in the United States. I met her in college. She was 18 at the time and was SENT HOME here in the Philippines so she can take her tertiary education. She was taking up BS Nursing when we became friends. She is a nice, sweet girl speaking in American English, accented Pilipino and flawless Ilocano. For traditional Filipino boys, she was quite intimidating, until she met Bong.

About 6 years her senior, Bong is not an average guy. He was already in his 10th year in college, 3rd course (3rd time that he shifted) and in his 24th year of life with nothing he can say 'he finished.' He was so irresponsible that his own parents already gave up on him but were still sending him to school just so he has something else to do instead of irritating them to death. Then, he met Charlotte.

It was an UNLIKELY match. A sweet young girl and a.. never mind. The moment they fell in love with each other was, for us, the greatest thing that ever happened to Bong. He transformed from a worthless bum into a responsible and amicable man we always wanted him to be. After a couple of years, Bong FINALLY graduated from college. And that day was a double celebration for that was also the day Charlotte found out that she was pregnant. Being a newly graduate at 26, Bong had a difficult time looking for a job. For one, he was over-age, in addition, his transcript of record was not a pleasant sight. So, Charlotte's mother helped them out. She rented a house for the couple and sent them money while Bong was looking for a job. And he did find one. But his basic salary was not enough for food, for Charlotte's education and for the baby's needs. Life was TOUGH.

But they made it through.. After some while, I learned that Charlotte already finished her Nursing course. Now, they can have an easy life.. or so I THOUGHT, because one day, Charlotte packed her things, left Bong and the baby, went back to the US and NEVER CAME BACK. With one final letter of goodbye to Bong, we never heard of her again..

Some people always say 'They have no choice.' That is not entirely true. They simply couldn't take the consequences of the other choices they have and so limit the options to the only one they think they could live (even miserably) with.

*Not real name

Whose Child Is This?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

A young mother with her son came to our center to inquire about a program for her 3 year old boy. Our client service officer, Ms Me Ann, was very accommodatingly answering all of her questions when we noticed that the boy was trying to open the sliding door of the play school room, obviously enticed by the toys and other colorful materials inside.

Ms. Me Ann gently told the boy that he shouldn't get in as there was an ongoing class. The boy looked at Ms. Me Ann murderously and snapped at her, "I'M GOING TO KICK YOU!' (Sisipain kita dyan!)

We were shocked. Ms. Me Ann patiently told the boy that it was not a nice thing to say. The mother butted in and told Ms. Me Ann that her son is 'a real nice boy'. She held her son's arm and led him out of the center.

We just watched as the mother tried to get control of her son who was trying to run away from her when he saw the coin-operated rides.

The Good Provider

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Maureen* was raised conservatively and very traditionally. She is one of those uncommonly nice girls who did what their parents told them to do. She never attended parties, she never went on any of our picnics nor did she have a boyfriend when we were in high school. So, we went crazy when we learned she had a boyfriend some time in college. We didn't stop until we met the guy, and we did. He was smart and nice and cool. He was PERFECT for her.

As expected, they waited until they finished college and have stable jobs before they got married. It was a dream wedding, with the wedding gown and the big white cake and the long entourage. We were so happy for our friend. As responsible people as they were, in a matter of 5 years, they were able to get themselves a nice big house, a car for each of them and a cool condo unit in the city.

They are what we call in our 'book' a successful couple. We were surprised, though, that we were mistaken.. at least in a way. Yes, they are successful. They are doing very well financially and they are living very comfortably. So, I asked Maureen what's wrong. At first she was too embarrassed to tell us, so we let it go. But in her own right time, she told us what the problem was. They don't make love as often as they should.

Her husband is a workaholic. He never stops working. They don't cuddle on weekdays because they have to work. So, the only time they have for some romantic moments is the weekend, but sometimes her husband would bring home some reports to do and work until dawn, no time for love. We advised her to go out of town, that is.. out of work, so they did. But her husband got too tired of driving that he just slept in the hotel where they stayed. Bad idea.

We told her to talk about it with her husband. We said tell him what she wants. But being brought up as a nice Catholic girl she couldn't do it, she simply COULDN'T. It's as if she's going to die of embarrassment if she discusses 'this issue' with her husband. It seems to her an IMPROPER thing to discuss..

That was about 5 years ago. We hoped that the situation would change. It didn't. So, Maureen is still unnecessarily unhappy, and we are unhappy for her..

*Not real name

Can Your Child Read at 9 Years Old?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Christia* is in grade 3. She goes to a, somewhat, PRESTIGIOUS school here in Manila. She is a typical 9 year-old girl, curious and playful. But what's different about her is that... She doesn't know how to read.. YET.

As I understand it, her mom is working abroad and she is left with her tita as her guardian. I do believe that tita is doing what she thinks is best for Christia. She sends her to a good school, and even hires an after-school tutor for her in case she has difficulty in her subjects. The tutor happens to be her school adviser. That Christia turns 9 and does not learn HOW TO READ, however, escapes me. What have gone wrong? Why is it that nobody even noticed?

On her first day under my tutelage, I found out what's wrong. Christia can't handle stress and difficulties. When she can't remember a particular letter of the alphabet, she makes a guess instead of thinking hard. But of course, I won't tolerate that. So, she would give me THE FACE, the most pitiful expression she could possibly give and when it doesn't work on me, she would throw me HATEFUL glances. But I'm used to that, I'm a teacher, some people love teachers, some people hate them. Then, when she gets frustrated, she would CRY. So I give her time.. I leave her be for 5 minutes or so, to give her time to compose herself. When I come back, I will continue the lesson as if nothing happens..

She is, so far, the greatest challenge in my career this year.. As of our last session she is already reading sentences of words with short vowel sounds (bat, cat, mat...)

Teaching, as I always say, is not something to do simply to make a living, teaching is a special gift that not everyone is blessed with... I'm proud I'm a teacher.

*not real name

The Poetess

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Rick* and Ann*, though of extremely different personalities, were friends. Rick is painfully handsome, smart, athletic, artistic but a very shy guy. Ann, on the other hand, is equally smart, plain looking, clumsy and an art dork. But her lack of artistic talents, she compensates with her literary skills. She is also very sociable and very comfortable in anybody's company, quite contrary to her friend, Rick who seems to be walking on egg shells anywhere he went.

As traditional stories of friendship goes, Ann felt something more for Rick. Deeper than the love for a friend that she was sure Rick felt for her. As time passed by, Ann became more and more uncomfortable with Rick around. So, putting her writing prowess to use, she wrote a nice love letter signed RIA, her initials backward. She sent it to Rick whose address, of course, she knew. Surprisingly, she felt better after expressing her feelings and she was able to deal with Rick as comfortably as before. So, she sent another one, and another, and another..

Rick, however, was unsettled by the letters he was constantly receiving. He was touched by the emotions the writer freely expressed on the letters. He was dying to meet her, because for the first time in his life, he fell in love. Ann, being closest to him, was told of this. She was horrified. It couldn't be. It had to stop.

So, risking the friendship they had for a long time, she told him the truth, how she felt about him, how she wrote the letters under her initials backward and sent them, with the intentions of simply unburdening herself of the feelings that had been gnawing in her heart for quite some while.

Rick was stunned. It wasn't possible. RIA, his dear poetess couldn't be this girl sitting next to him. She must be someone else. They didn't talk about it again. They stayed the way they were, good buddies. They parted ways after college. Ann got married after a few years and had children while Rick is still a bachelor. I saw him about 10 months ago. He was looking for a writer for his company profile. He didn't mention it but I can feel, he's still thinking about RIA, that ONE GREAT WRITER, whom he fell in love with..

*Not real names

Mr. RIGHT...eous?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Aside from being a review and tutorial center, our company also publishes review books and other materials.

Two years ago, a self-declared INTELLECTUAL came to our office telling us that there was an error in one of our reviewers. He demanded to talk with the owner of the company without considering that the owner may be busy, out of town, in a meeting or simply... not in that small branch. So, we called the Academic Head to pacify him and of course to listen to what he had to say..

The Acad Head patiently explained and justified all the issues that he raised, but he simply ignored her and insulted her for being a graduate from a public (but reputable) school here in Manila. After defending herself assertively but very politely, the Acad Head assured the man that 'we will try to look into this.'

Two weeks ago, the man came back. He said he was checking if we did what he said we should do. When asked what he had been doing lately, he proudly answered, 'looking for mistakes committed by others like you.' He kept on talking. He even said that we, employed teachers, in our review center, were NO MATCH for him and that we were in every way INFERIOR to him.

I honestly don't know what to think of the whole thing, actually I found it somehow amusing that there is such person, but one thing I know is true, it is not worth feeling BAD about..