Song for Annie

Annie* is a smart girl from a poor family. Their mother died when they were young and being the eldest daughter, she assumed the responsibility of taking care of her younger siblings. She worked hard to send them to school. She was driven by ambition that she even applied as a cultural dancer in Japan when she was 18. Still underage at the time, she passed the screening but her application was declined. She was asked to stand by and come back when she turn 21.

When she turned 20, however, she met Benjie, the youngest son of a former engineering contractor. Benjie carried with him the sophistication and finesse of ‘the upper class.’ This got and lured Annie to the unfamiliar world of those that glitter which are not gold. It took her only a few months to realize that Benjie is just a useless and oversized action figure in the family. He never finished college. He never worked a single day in his life except when he joins his father’s construction and get paid for one day of sitting and fooling around with the workers. Still, Annie hoped and believed that Benjie will come to realize that a person needs to work in order to live. Benjie, however, didn’t show any sign of changing for the better. He’s just so used to the comfortable life of a ‘spoiled brat’ and he has no plans of changing any of that.

When Annie gave birth to their first born, she decided to leave Benjie. She thought it better to live as a single parent and raise her child alone than to feed an enormous couch potato who doesn’t even wash the glass he drinks on. She went back to her family. But after a few months, Benjie came over and insisted his right to be with his son, a fact that even Annie couldn’t contest. So, he stayed, but not for long. Annie’s father, realizing the kind of person her daughter lives with, sent him out of his house, but Benjie wouldn’t leave without his family. Annie and their child had to go with him. Refusing to live with Benjie’s family, Annie was forced to rent a house.

That was about 10 years ago. If there’s anything that changed about Benjie, it’s that he got older, he’s stouter for too much sitting around and lazier than he used to be. And Annie? Working harder than ever. When I asked her why she couldn’t leave Benjie, she said she didn’t want her, now 3, children to live without a father. And when I asked why they aren’t married yet, she said Benjie never asked her..

So, is that love? :(

*Not real name

Could Not Buy Consideration

A re-post from my old blog

As one of those companies that offer services instead of goods, we normally advise our clients to call us first for an appointment as we prepare our everyday schedule ahead of time. That is to avoid not being able to accommodate a new arrival in case the teacher is already engaged in a class.

Last month, our Math teacher, Teacher Rob,  filed a leave of absence. So, his schedule was cancelled. But we contacted the main office to lend us another Math teacher, in case of special appointments.

On the second day of his leave, one of his regular students, Jana*, a grade 2 pupil, and her mother showed up and the mom demanded that the child be taught that day. We were surprised because Jana was not in the schedule. So, we asked the mom if she placed a call before they came over, because if she did, we could have informed her that Teacher Rob would not be in on that day, but she said, they are regular clients, why does she need to call first?

So, we patiently explained that Teacher Rob is not around, but if it's okay with her we could ask for another teacher from the main office and have Jana scheduled the following day in case it's a kind of emergency, a Math contest or something, though it was actually Christmas vacation.

The mom didn't want any of that. She told us to call Teacher Rob and have him come or give his cellphone number to her so she can call him herself. So, we said we're not allowed to give away our employees' cellphone numbers unless with consent.

Furious and disappointed, she dragged Jana away from our center murmuring about incompetent employees and having money to pay for the services.

It is true that we offer our services, but we don't offer our services ALL THE TIME. We are ordinary people. We can choose to work as much as we can choose to rest. We are not slaves of clients who just happen to have more money than we make with out meager salaries. Maybe they have money, but they couldn't buy KINDNESS and CONSIDERATION and any other virtue that makes a person.. A PERSON.

*Not real name

What's A PRESCHOOL Teacher Made of?

Although I have been teaching READING to preschoolers, I haven’t been officially handling a class for a long time now. I can’t actually call it a demotion because since I focused on English programs for older children and adults, I could no longer accommodate preschool. So, the company hired a preschool teacher two years ago.

Luckily, my colleague turned out to be one of the best preschool teachers the company had ever hired. However, just recently, she was given an opportunity to try something that she has always wanted to do. So, just as I expressed my intention to leave the company, she did, too. With both of us gone, no one was to handle our preschoolers.

The company wasted no time. There was a flood of resumes and applicants fell in line, hoping to be given a chance to do what we do. The first to be given that chance was a fresh graduate of Early Childhood Education course. She lasted two weeks. The second was a mother who had an experience to tutor small children. She, too, was overwhelmed with the tasks and responsibilities of a preschool teacher that I won’t be surprised if she leaves sooner than I.

So, what really makes a good preschool teacher?

First and foremost, a preschool teacher LOVES children… unconditionally. It may seem so sweet but teaching small children is a challenging task that only few gifted people can do. A preschool teacher is a person with infinite patience and not just a paid employee. A preschool teacher is of pure heart and she shares what’s inside that heart to her students. A preschool teacher shares a part of herself to her students making her a part of them until they grow old. A preschool teacher has the power to MAKE or BREAK a child and only a GOOD preschool teacher will choose to do what’s right..

To my colleague, Teacher Hazel, a toast to you. May you find happiness in the road that you chose. I believe in my heart, though, that you will be back to teaching as soon as you realize that this is what you really wanted to do in life, and, we will see each other again, because a TEACHER is always a teacher, and that’s what we both are.. Good luck!

The Wicked Witch of Fairview

Last week, during Nathan's* off from work, he went to the mall to withdraw some money and buy some stuff that he and his girlfriend, Irene, might need. He was gone for about 2 hours. When he came home, he found his girlfriend waiting for him. She asked for the ATM receipt. Nathan felt his pockets and brought out all the contents but couldn't find the transaction receipt. So, he just said, that maybe it got mixed with other papers and he accidentally threw it away so, he just told her how much he withdrew from the card. To this his girlfriend answered "Maybe you just don't want me to know what time you were at the mall."

Nathan was shocked. So, that's what the receipt was for, evidence. He just shook his head and left the room. Nathan and Irene were together for 8 years now. They have a daughter who stays with her girlfriend's parents. What Nathan couldn't understand until now is Irene's unreasonable and excessive jealousy. She never let Nathan out of her sight except when they're both at work. Even then, Irene would text Nathan and ask where he is when she knows that he is at work already. At Nathan's home, where they stay, she never want Nathan out of the room, nor does she want him to go to the living room and talk with his family. When her whims are contradicted, she makes a scene so embarrassing that Nathan had to give in to avoid further embarrassment.

She deleted Nathan's phone book, that what's left is just her number, those of Nathan's family members, mine, as he can still text me (maybe Irene is not jealous of me, lol!) and maybe a few more. Of Nathan's former high school friends, college friends and colleagues, nothing was left.

Nathan and I have been working together for almost 3 years now and I heard a lot of such stories. Now, every time Nathan tells me an incident about her girlfriend similar to the one I wrote above, I would give my usual comment, 'break up with her, she's not healthful for you,' until he got fed up with me and just stopped. I know I'm being such a callous, insensitive, harsh and diabolical witch, but honestly, I just couldn't help it. I have to say what I really feel about the matter.

I know my friend suffers, and he suffered long enough, but he just couldn't find a way out, because he thinks there is no way out. And if he is convinced of that, then maybe there really ISN'T ANY...

*not real name

The Unhappy Kid

Gab* is 17 years old. He is a good looking kid. He is a son of one of the owners of a popular stuffed toy stores here. He goes to an exclusive school for boys and he is, I admit, quite smart. I learned that besides being a rich man’s son, he already has his own budding business. He takes orders for souvenir items like friendship band or something like it.

Wow, this kid really started early, I thought.

So, I was kind of impressed and thought how lucky this kid is for having such a comfortable life. I imagine a lot of unemployed people who fight tooth and nail for any vacancy in order to earn something to feed their families while this kid earn more than P15,000 a month. Life really isn’t so fair.

Then, one morning, my colleague showed me a text message from Gab. The time was 2:35am and the text message said: “Please talk to me, I feel so lonely..”

So, the kid isn’t that lucky after all.

It made me think about my children. They don’t live luxuriously, in fact, they are actually deprived of material things. But, they never get hungry. There’s always food on the table and they always pay on or before the due date. They don’t have any problem with projects or anything they need to buy for school. So, do they text messages like that? Do they ever get lonely?

Looking at my kids and how they play, and laugh and make fun of each other, I wish with my whole heart that they are not unhappy like my student Gab.

*not real name

The Least Favorite Child

Nina* is four years old. Barely a month after her birth, her mommy left her to grandmother, who, in turn, took care of her because Nina has two more older sisters that mommy takes care of. I didn’t ask why mommy can take care of the older two girls but can’t take care of Nina.

Some time this summer, mommy finally took Nina from grandmother and enrolled her in preschool last June. Nina is a very quiet little girl, she knows more Visayan words than Pilipino (Tagalog). She keeps to herself, plays alone and simply looks at us with expressionless eyes. She doesn’t seem to care also that her mom picks her up 2 hours after the class.

We didn’t mind. Surely, she’d open up soon enough. What got us worried and in a way frustrated is that, she always comes to school with homework undone. And then she began throwing tantrums. She cried very loudly and screamed at US, ‘I don’t like you!!!.’ Her teacher told mommy about it, but mommy justified that she got the behavior from her older cousins. Then Nina started hitting her classmates.. UNPROVOKED.

This time, teacher asked mommy to come over. Mommy admitted that Nina is her ‘least favorite child’ and that she couldn’t bring herself to love her as much as she loves the other two older girls. She reasoned that maybe because Nina was raised by grandmother.

Last month, Nina didn’t join the field trip. Her older sisters have exams and mommy is simply too busy helping them review their lessons.

I know for a fact that favoritism is common, in school, at home and even in friends. But that fact, I think, doesn’t make it less painful as it is to the least favorite..

 *not real name

Mr. Right?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

He is tall, fair-complexioned, handsome, athletic, smart and multi-talented. He is one 'HOT' guy. He is among the most popular basketball players in school, consistent winner of various Quiz Shows and recipient of various awards including the prestigious Leadership Award. We met in the university when we were 20 years old.

From a distance, he seems to be SO charmingly MAGNETIC. With his neat, regularly shaven face graced with thick, curly lashes, perfectly sculptured nose above full lips, he is simply gorgeous.

When a girl sees a guy like that, the first question that pops her head is 'Does he have a girlfriend?' If the answer is 'no' well, then, that would be great, it means she has a chance with him. But if the answer is 'yes' well, the girl thinks 'who cares, all is fair in love and war.'

In this particular case, he didn't have a girlfriend. I was curious. I befriended the guy which was not at all difficult for a straightforward, uninhibited girl like myself. I found out in no time why he didn't have any girlfriend. In fact, he never had one, yet. He was the MOST BORING person I have ever met in my entire life.

For one, he didn't seem to know how to start a conversation, so I have to do that. I did the asking and he simply did the answering. If I didn't ask, he wouldn't answer. Then we wouldn't talk at all. Second, when I asked, his answers were very short as if he was thinking that I didn't need any elaboration. Third, his answers were too technical as if he was actually reporting in class and not talking to a real live girl.

That's when I realized that 'LOOKS' isn't all that matters. As I walked home that day, I was somehow satisfied with what I did for three reasons. First, I was able to talk with the popular 'heart throb', second, I found out why he didn't have any girlfriend and finally, I found out that physical appearance doesn't matter much when it comes to having a relationship. Yes, it does, but not THAT MUCH..

Who Was Embarrassed

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Little Ronnie* is an energetic boy of 3. To prepare him for the preschool, his mom let him ‘sit-in’ our play school, a program which involves singing, coloring, tracing, pasting, painting and some activities which aim to develop the psychomotor skills.

His mommy actually wanted to enroll him in a ‘higher program’ because according to her, Ronnie already knows all the lessons in the play school like the colors, shapes, numbers and letters of the alphabet. I don’t doubt her, Ronnie really looks smart, still, I recommended an assessment.

By the looks of it, Ronnie seems to be used to being the only child. He wants ALL of the toys around him, he doesn’t want to share, he doesn’t want to play with the other kids, either. He doesn’t want to listen to the teacher. He just wants to knock things out of the way and enjoys the sound of toys crashing down the floor.

About 15 minutes before the end of the session, he spotted Annie, a little girl, smaller than he is, playing a plastic toy pot. He smirked, went to Annie and snatched the toy away from the little girl. As expected, the girl cried. Ronnie’s mommy, getting frustrated with his son’s behavior comforted Annie and asked her son to give the toy back to the girl adding that she would buy him a dozen of it later. Ronnie screamed ‘NO!!’ and punched his mother hard in the face.

The scene got very uncomfortable, with Ronnie still screaming, and his mommy red in the face, with embarrassment and pain (I supposed). I no longer remember what happened after that, but I never see Ronnie or his mother again.

*not real name

Solitude Incarnate

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Elisa* is a member of a popular clan in our place. That fact, in addition to her being the topnotcher in her class made her extremely arrogant. When she went to college, among those very few who did, her arrogance became even more defined. She took up Bachelor of Science in Accountancy and, after her graduation, was able to work in a company in Makati. I was in high school at the time and for me it was simply.. IMPRESSIVE.

Her parents, more arrogant than she was, looked down on people and began to talk more sarcastically than they used to. It was as if having a piece of agricultural land, a small 'sari-sari' store and a Makati girl for a daughter made them lord over people. Some of us talked among ourselves, some cursed them behind their backs and even some anticipated that the time will come to these people to learn a lesson in humility.

Time elapsed and soon, we, younger people got older and got married. Elisa, however, remained single. Some said she was too picky, while meaner people said nobody wanted her, lol! I vouched for the former.

About 8 years ago, I heard that she was finally getting married. The lucky guy was  a member of an even more popular clan. He was born in our place but studied and lived somewhere else. We personally knew him and for us it was a perfect match. Though I wasn't there, I knew the wedding was a HIT. My relatives kept talking about it for weeks.

After a few months, however, the groom bid his bride goodbye to visit some relatives. He never came back. Elisa followed his husband and learned the truth. Her husband was married to someone else. She didn't see them though, as the family moved out a week earlier. Furious beyond belief, Elisa hired a lawyer intending to file a case of bigamy. She went to the local civil registry to get a copy of their marriage contract as evidence that will incriminate her husband. There was NONE. Their marriage was a big, expensive hoax.

Elisa left our place for a while and stayed in Manila longer than she used to do. I didn't know what happened to the case. I didn't ask. For me, everything was impossibly outlandish. Was everything planned to put Elisa and her family to shame? Or did the groom really love her but simply happened to be married to someone else?

Whatever it was, I'm just thankful that my life is less complicated than hers.

*not real name

Little Lyra

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Lyra* just turned 4 recently. She’s a cute little thing with shiny straight hair and big expressive eyes. She’s very talkative and outspoken. It was pretty obvious that her aunt (I never met her mom) and her grandmother and maybe the rest of the family, adore her and that they are very vocal about it.

They enrolled her to my reading and writing class. Apparently, they all think that she is old and smart enough for the program, and why wouldn’t she? It’s just letters and tracing, how difficult could that get? They didn’t even have her assessed. They simply enrolled.

The moment she sat beside me I smelled trouble. She was extremely talkative, for one, and she was SO AT EASE with adults, which is not SO COMMON with kids her age.

And I was right, she may be smart, but she didn’t want to work… AT ALL. She just wanted to talk, and she wanted to talk about things about her, and nothing else. As a teacher, I tried to assert my authority by reminding her from time to time to finish what she’s doing and all that. The following day, her aunt talked to me and told me NOT TO PUSH Lyra too hard, and that they are worried that she may be traumatized if I do that. I told her my observation of her niece, but she just smiled and said that Lyra is just like that because she’s a little spoiled. 

Lyra’s program ended yesterday and I was left frustrated knowing that I wasn’t able to teach her anything she didn’t know yet. Her writing got a little better alright, but it was something she could have done even if she stayed at home..

*not real name

Messing Up with DepEd?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Besides tutorial center, our company also has a preschool and a grade school. Last Friday, a mom asked me if our formal school offers subjects like Filipino and Sibika, subjects taught in Pilipino (Tagalog), our native tongue.

So, I answered ‘of course’ as we follow the curriculum of the Department of Education. She smirked and said  something about Tagalog subjects being irrelevant since they wouldn’t be used when a child grows up and that we should concentrate on a child’s English proficiency.

I was outraged. It took me an enormous amount of self-control not to tell her that that’s what being educated is all about, knowing THYSELF, thy culture and therefore thy language.

Just because I’m an English teacher doesn’t mean I’m turning my back on my native tongue. I love it as much as I love my country. I looked at the woman in front of me and answered as politely as I could that our school tries to train students to be intelligent and responsible future leaders of our country. I don’t know if that was the answer I should have given, but it was the best I could come up with at the time.

I felt sad about the whole thing.. I do believe we should love our language more than that woman did..

The Bride

This is a re-post from my old blog.

The bride was Aling Luisa* 50 plus years old getting married to Mang Tibo* a few years older than she.

Aling Luisa has been a widow for as long as I can remember. She has 2 children that she sends to school by selling groceries in our local market. Her daughter was one of my personal acquaintances.

During the late 80s, the wife of a known businessman in our town died. Mang Tibo, the widower, was left with 3 grown up children. He was in mourning for a year. After another year, he asked the hand of Aling Luisa in marriage.

I was astounded.

But the older generation seemed not to be surprised at all. So, I asked the story behind the 'wedding' and so I was told. Aling Luisa and Mang Tibo used to be sweethearts. But Aling Luisa's parents preferred a different man for her. So, the young lovers broke up and lived separate lives. Aling Luisa's husband died while their children were but young. She struggled and fought her way to provide for them. Because of her still visible youth, she was courted by widowers and bachelors alike, but she politely turned them down and focused on her children's education.

Then, Mang Tibo's wife passed away. He sincerely mourned for his wife and took care of their children. After a year, he went out of mourning and courageously expressed his intentions to marry Aling Luisa after all these years. Aling Luisa happily accepted and they got married.

That was about 20 years ago. I don't know if the two old people are still alive, but their story remains in my mind until now..

*not real names

Is Your Child 'English-Speaking'?

This is a re-post from my old blog.

Our center offers Speech and Communication Program for Kids. Well, I  enjoy teaching this program less than the one for Adults but I sincerely find it.. FUN.

I don’t have any trouble teaching this program, my trouble involves parents and their UNREALISTIC expectations from it. When I ask clients why they are interested about the program, they normally answer that they want their children to be ‘English Speaking.’ They obviously overlook the fact that the entire program runs only for 12 hours, that is 1 and a 1/2 hours for eight days ONLY. Surely, they don’t expect their kids to talk in spontaneous English after 12 hours.

Some people just don’t get it. If they want their children to speak in English, then, they, themselves, have to talk to them in English at home. They don’t necessarily have to really talk, as in conversationally, teaching the children common English words will help. They can start with the things found at home like chair, bed, spoon, anything…

Cartoons need not be TAGALIZED so kids would enjoy Spongebob, Dora, Wonder Pets and the like. Education starts at home and parents do not need Education units to teach their children.