Keep Out

Vince* had been my student in the tutorial center since he was in first year high school. So, I wasn’t surprised to find him there when I came back to work there again, part time. This time, he was taking a review program for the college entrance test.

Initially, I found it very nice of his mother to enroll him in such program. It means that she was taking Vince’s education seriously. I found out, however, that Vince was also enrolled to three more programs last summer. Each program was for 30 hours which summed up to 90 hours plus 72 hours for the college review. Wow! They surely have a lot of money.

So, when I asked Vince how his summer went. He made a heartbreaking shrug. It seems like Vince didn’t know the difference between summer vacation and regular school year. And it had been like that for as long as he could remember. It seems as if his mother was trying to keep him out of the house the entire year.

Well, maybe it’s not that at all. But I surely couldn’t blame Vince if that’s the way he felt :(

*not real name

The Couple Next Door

When I was a freshman in college, I had a bunch of friends who were very accommodating I could sleep in three different boarding houses each week if I chose to. But there is really no place like home so I still preferred to sleep in my own bed, the upper deck of my sister’s bed. I didn’t get used to waking up unable to remember whose house I stayed the night in.

One time, I spent the night with some friends in another friend’s house. We were chatting and playing cards while a shot of gin was moving about. We were so noisy we didn’t notice the brewing argument between the couple next door until their voices were loud enough for the entire boarding house to hear. We kept quiet and were finally able to hear what was going on.

Later than night, I wished I didn’t listen at all.

They were arguing heatedly. We tried to ignore it as we all knew it was a domestic problem and none of our business. Then, the guy started cursing and the girl started screaming. Then, we heard it. The guy was hitting the girl. We froze. Nobody could move. Most of us were of minor age and whatever was happening next door was new to us. For me, it was.. unthinkable.

Then the sounds grew louder. This time, the guy was kicking the girl. I started to shake violently. I guess I was so scared and that I wanted to do something to stop what was happening but was powerless to do so. Luckily, somebody arrived, probably a police officer or a barangay tanod, I could no longer remember. All I cared about was that it was finished.

How one person could inflict that much pain to another remained a mystery to me until now..

Daddy and Mommy in One

When I was assisting our preschool teacher in the tutorial center I worked for, I noticed one very special daddy.

First, he was still young. Second, he was usually seen wearing a school uniform and third, he was the one who personally attended to his daughter, Jenna, who was about five years old. What made me notice him was the way he looked at her daughter. It seems like his entire world was revolving around that sweet little girl and nothing else mattered to him.

He didn’t mind carrying her bag, a baby pink and fluffy bag filled with her stuff. He would come along with us when we took the girl to the washroom and he waited outside ready to take his daughter’s hand in his as soon as we came out. There was even one time that we saw him brushed Jenna’s hair and expertly tied it into a pony tail.

During the Christmas Party, he had with him a camera and took shot after shot of Jenna while the girl was having a good time. Then, he patiently fed her before he, himself, ate. He joined the parlor games and obviously enjoyed every minute of it.

Jenna’s mother? She was busy texting on her cellphone and brushing her hair with her hand in one corner apparently oblivious of what’s happening around her.

*not real name

Why Is It Difficult?

I think this is one classic question that no one can answer. Why is it difficult to find the right guy? Obviously, the question is not for me, as I am a happily married woman, but for my friends.

At first, I gave them reasons just as classic as the given question. It’s either they have high standards or that they are hopeless romantic. High standards, as in they are looking for a superhero type of guy, I mean.. good looks, high IQ, stable job and gentlemanly behavior. So, they asked me.. Is that high? Honestly, I no longer know :D

Hopeless romantic, as in.. they will bump into some guy with good looks (again), high IQ, stable job and gentlemanly behavior, and they will feel a spark as if they are hit by a bolt of lightning, and.. they knew, it’s like MAGIC. I guess you know what I mean…

Well, does it really happen that way? I don’t think so. For the past ten years, I’ve seen people getting in and out of a relationship through text messages. Gone were the days when guys took pains to get to know a girl and risk important things they have. I know there are still guys like that, but the question is where are they? Why can’t my friends find them?

Maybe it’s a matter of being in the wrong place at the right time :D

The Beloved Daughter

Dina* was in grade five when she became my student in the tutorial center I used to work for. She was the only daughter of her engineer father and architect mother. Consequently, she grew up to be a brat like a pampered princess. Honestly, I didn’t mind that, mind much I mean. Most girls are silly but they didn’t have to be lazy and pain in the neck.

For some reasons, Dina always arrive at the center late and unexpectedly. Obviously, she and her nanny ignored our reminder to call the center first to make sure whether the tutor in a particular subject is around or not. It wasn’t only once we had to send her home because the Math tutor was absent or that the Science tutor was on leave. But they didn’t seem to learn.

One time, she came late, as usual, but I tried to squeeze her in. I checked her notes and gave her something to do. I left her for while to check on my other students expecting to check her work when I came back. I was dismayed when I caught her drawing at the back of her notebook. She wasn’t doing what I asked her to do. So, I gave her time to do and I sat beside her to force her to work. She just stared at the paper and asked me..

"”Do, I need to answer all these?”

“Yes, you need to..” I answered.

“But I have to think hard in order to answer this..” she answered with a groan.

“Well, that’s the idea. You have to think, and you have to think hard.. Don’t you know it?” I was sincerely curious to know the answer to that.

She kept silent and started working. After a short while, she stopped and said..

“I’m done..”

I checked out her paper and saw that she answered only a few items..

“But you haven’t answered all..” I said.

“I can’t answer anymore. I’m already tired..”

Since I couldn’t force her, or anyone, to do things they don’t want to do, I left her be. When her mother came to pick her up, I told her what happened. The mother just smiled at me and said..

“It’s ok teacher, maybe she’s just not in the mood to study... She will just finish it at home…”

Then, she and the smiling Dina left.. They paid half a thousand pesos to write twenty words on a sheet of paper..

*not real name

When First Love Dies

They met in high school. At 15, they were told they were too young to fall in love and that they had no idea what love really is. Despite the odds, they were happy. Young as they were, they were able to express their affection for each other. They cared for each other, helped each other out, fought for each other, cried in each other’s shoulders, held each other’s hands and kissed each other. They shared the bitter-sweet taste of first love.

But just like young lovers, they parted ways convinced that they will get over it just like the grown-ups said. They were too young to withstand the pressure of their youth. But they believed the grown-ups, the pain will go away, they will find someone new, someone better..

Only, the grown-ups were wrong.. They NEVER got over each other. They both found someone new, but not someone better. The pain did not go away, rather, they got used to it. They never again find someone they would care for as much as they cared for each other. They tried to find a way back to each other’s life but it has become too complicated and the easiest way is to let things remain the way they are.

If only they did not believe the grown-ups and held on to each other and worked things out, they could have saved each other much regret. If only they have known that LOVE knows no age and no time, they would know that they would never find the kind of love they felt for each other wherever they may go.

I saw them in a reunion two years ago. They were civil, too civil with each other, in fact. I saw longing in his eyes and I saw sadness in hers. It has been a long time. Why does it hurt still?

Because no matter how smart we are, we could never decipher LOVE and its mysteries. No wonder people get crazy over it..

Humbled By a Mother's Love

On my first year of teaching in a review center, I handled a boy and a girl, third year and second year respectively. They are siblings and they were probably among the, excuse me, the least good of students I have handled. The boy was in better shape than the girl who had a hard time remembering four items from her notebook. They were not lazy. They were not brats. They simply weren’t.. very smart.

I always felt frustrated every time I teach them because I felt as if I was not good enough. Consequently, they weren’t my most favorite students.

Then one day, their mother paid us a visit and talked to me. She asked me how her kids were doing. Eaten by prejudice, I told her how her children were and everything I said was, as I remember it now, not the nicest things to hear. I didn’t say they were stupid, nor did I say they were hopeless, but I didn’t say they were trying their best either.

She thanked me, sincerely, and told me that she knew that her children were not smart. She told me how every night she prayed that her children make it though their lessons, how much she wished she can teach her children herself, but unfortunately she lacked the skills nor the patience that we, teachers, do have. She told me that she knew her children weren’t bright but that she had to do everything she could possibly do so that they will learn. She said she appreciate us for doing the very thing she could not do for her children. She thanked me one more time and left.

Humbled by this mother’s love for her children and ashamed for what I felt for those children, I spent several minutes looking at my desk feeling rotten. After a while, I forgave myself and promised never to look down on anyone and do the best I can for any student that will come my way..

After all, I am a mother, too…

The More Hateful, The More Lovable

Gina* has been married to Jim* for nine years now and both of them are working. They have three children all of them are girls. Gina is the typical working mother who comes home tired and snaps at the least provocation. She is know to nag and rant at Jim about anything under the sun.

That gives Jim some reason, or so he said, to look for someone nicer. And he did find one, a pretty, soft-spoken little darling who looks like an angel compared to Gina. They had an illicit relationship and Jim started to drift away not just from Gina but from his children as well. But it seems like Jim is not even trying to be discreet about the whole thing that I started to suspect that he was being deliberate. So, I wasn’t surprised at all when Gina came to me to tell me what she learned.

I assumed that she came to me for advice and I gave her the fairest I could give, to go for what is bearable. I’ve known a lot of people who decided against their hearts’ desires and ended up miserable for the rest of their lives.

One day, Gina kicked Jim out of the house. As I heard, Jim came home with his clothes packed in a bag which was waiting for him at the door of the house. He knocked at the door and tried to reason out with his wife but Gina was disconsolate, so as not to further his embarrassment, Jim picked up the bag and went away.

That night, it rained hard. My kids and I were preparing for bed when someone knocked at the door. It was Gina. She was asking whether I saw Jim or if I know where he is. I said no. She expressed her concern for her husband and was worried that he had nowhere to stay.

The following morning, I learned that Gina found Jim at his friend’s house. She asked him to come and he did. Since then, I never commented on the issue again, ever. Gina decided to keep her husband no matter what, so I guess she had no reason to complain..

*not real names

The Less Favorite Daughter

Shane* was in grade five when she became my student. She was a smart and polite girl. Though she was obviously doing well in class, she was out-shadowed by her more accomplished and more popular elder brother, Luke*.

Sometime last year, Shane and her brother were enrolled to me for speech enhancement. As was customary, I asked their mother if there was any particular reason why she enrolled them. The mother, very excitedly, told me that Luke was about to join a competition in the near future and the speech enhancement was a preparation. I said that was very nice. When I asked her about Shane, she simply shrugged and said..

‘Don’t mind her much, focus on Luke…. I just enrolled her as Luke’s companion..’

I sincerely hoped she didn’t mean that. But as the program progressed, I noticed that the mother regularly asked about Luke’s performance but never about Shane. What pained mo more was that I knew Shane was working harder than Luke was. In fact, she was doing even better than her brother. She was diligent and responsible. She was polite and obedient. Why her mother could not see Shane’s efforts escaped me.

At the end of the program, I gave a final report on the children’s performances. Deliberately, I showed Shane’s evaluation first, but when I started talking, she cut me short and impatiently said that they had an appointment and couldn’t stay long. She requested for Luke’s performance evaluation and when I explained everything to her satisfaction, she took the papers, stuffed them in her purse and bid me goodbye. But before they got completely out of the office, Shane looked back and thanked me.

I know favoritism is a common thing, but it still hurts when you see it up close..

 *not real names

The Ugly Duckling

Like the ugly duckling that grew up to be a lovely swan, my friend was an awkward, pimply and skinny young boy of fourteen when he fell deeply infatuated to a college girl.

I can still remember how he would sneak out of their house at night to visit the girl who was so amused at being wooed by a boy. In fairness to her, she was nice, I mean, she tried her best to be nice, saying the right things and asking the right questions. She also made my friend feel good about himself, though she was very clear when she said that she just sees my friend as a younger brother.

Instead of hurt, my friend actually got encouraged. When the girl got back to the university he studied really hard, and played basketball with unmatched dedication earning him an MVP award. And what more, he grew up very tall, very handsome and very sexy.

Yes, he was, every inch of him, a HUNK!

As I expected, he outgrew his infatuation to the college girl and fell in love with someone else. Like the usual twist of fate, the college girl got extremely attracted to him when they saw each other again. Too late! He wanted somebody else :D

Last week I saw my friend on FB and just being my usual curious self, I looked at his list of friends and found the college girl on it :D

Parents' Standards

Joey* was in grade six when he became my student. He was smart alright. But there was something about him that was unpleasant. He was a bit arrogant.

He wasn’t as polite as other students. He answered as if I were his own age and he showed boredom when I discussed something he thought he already knew and treated it as unimportant. There were even times that I felt he looked down on us, teachers, as if daring us to teach more. The results of his tests, however, showed he wasn’t as smart as he believed himself to be. He may be a smart kid but not exceptional one.

Then, one time, his mother came to pick him up. She asked me about his son. So, I discussed Joey’s strengths and weaknesses as I normally do. She appeared dismayed that Joey wasn’t able to get perfect scores. Regardless of what I said that Joey was among those who performed well. Then, just when I thought she was leaving, her husband arrived.

I had to repeat what I already said and if the mother was dismayed, the father was disgusted. He started to berate the poor boy in front of me. He made it clear to the boy that he was not going to any other high school, but a Science High School. Being a graduate of a science high school himself, he couldn’t understand why Joey was having difficulty getting high scores in the review center.

I suddenly felt sorry for Joey. As a parent myself, I understand how parents want the best for their children. But I guess they are not supposed to turn their kids into something they aren’t.

*not real name

Childhood Sweethearts

I know it’s so hopeless romantic of me, but I’ve always found the idea of childhood sweethearts really sweet. Though I was very young when I had my first boyfriend and I never considered him to be my first and last, I still ask myself what if..

So, I felt, somehow, envious when I attended a reunion and learned that two of my grade school classmates got married. The sweet part is that they were both very quiet, well maybe compared to me, and they were both very shy that I couldn’t imagine their courting days, but of course, that’s already none of my business, right?

The thing is.. I was sincerely happy for them. They look so good and happy together. They were actually neighbors when we were young. Then, the guy studied somewhere else in high school. I didn’t ask how they met again, but probably because they were former neighbors, it wasn’t at all impossible for their paths to cross again. I was surprised, yes, but happy kind of surprised and I started to think how it feels to be married to someone you’ve known all your life, how fun it is to talk about people you both knew and events you both attended way back then..

Happily married as I am to my wonderful husband, I would, surely, never know how it feels. However it is, I’m simply happy for those who have married their childhood sweethearts.

The Greatest Teacher

In one of my job interviews, I was asked why I didn’t take up Education course when I wanted to be a teacher. The real reason is that, I was already in third year when I realized it, moreover, if ever I become a teacher, Psychology subject is what I wanted to teach, and that’s the answer I gave during the job interview. I wasn’t accepted, but it was the time I realized how much I wanted to become a teacher more than anything else.

Unlike other teachers who were inspired or encouraged by their former teachers, I became one because it was what I wanted to do. I’ve always had this need to explain, to inform, to research, and to show other people the easier way through things and I guess I’m good at it.

Since I joined this noblest of professions, I started to find ways to be better in what I do. I read books about teachers like Tuesdays With Morrie and Dibs, In Search of Self and I watched films like Dead Poets’ Society and Mona Lisa Smile.

Then, this Holy Week, I opened the Bible and read about the greatest teacher of all.. Jesus. I know I wouldn’t even come close to His greatness but I would always try with my whole heart to be the best teacher I could ever be.

He came to Jesus by night and said, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher from God; for no one can do these miracles which you are doing, unless God is with him.

John 3:2