When We're Feeling Ill

Only when we’re feeling ill do we realize how good it really feels to feel well.

Just like any other blessing, the gift of good health is being set aside and ignored until the time comes when health fails. We don’t actually realize that waking up feeling well is one of the most common yet most precious blessings of all. Not every one wakes up feeling well, and come to think of it, not every one wakes up at all..

Still, some people simply couldn’t manage to feel grateful for waking up in the morning. They choose to agonize over things they can’t have and things they can’t do instead of enjoying the things they actually have and the talents and skills they are blessed with.

Life is hard, or it isn’t, it depends on one’s perspective of it. And no amount of brooding and moping will make it any better. So, instead of doing exactly that, let’s start every day by making a mental list of the things we are thankful for, another morning, the person beside you, coffee, breakfast, etc., and utter a sincere thank you for each and every one of them.

Sweeter Cyber Romance

Honestly, I don’t know if cyber romance is sweet, basically because I didn’t have a chance to try it. I put up my first yahoo mail the year after I got married. So, I think I have nothing to say in the matter except those I heard from friends.

And speaking of friends, I know of two people who found each other again on Facebook. Twenty years ago, they were just acquaintances. They weren’t close. They weren’t friends. Then, last year, we put up a group and all three of us were invited as members. Incidentally, they were both using account names different from their real names, so, neither has an idea who the other was.

So, they were kind of surprised when they found out about each other’s identity. The next thing I knew was that they hit it off and they seem to be very happy together. I’m happy for them, of course, but I was never into cyber romance thus my skepticism. For me, you could only say you love someone if you know him or her well enough and how could you know someone you only see and  talk with online?

Well, that’s only for ME. I could be wrong and they may be right, right? Well… I just wish both of them happiness.. :)

How Rare is Opportunity?

I would say very.

How many smart, talented and hard-working people got wasted because they weren’t given an opportunity to show what they got?

It’s sad.. and frustrating to see such people settling for something less than they deserve. Sometimes, we can’t help wondering why that is? Some people say everything happens for a reason, but what reason? We see them try as hard and even harder than others, and yet, they simply don’t make it, is it fate? Is it misfortune? God’s will? What? We don’t know, or maybe we don’t need to know. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe that’s just what life is, either you make it or you don’t, and that’s all there is to it.

Then, what is the point of dreaming? And of trying? If you wouldn’t get it after all because it isn’t meant for you. What is the point of wasting valuable time and energy over something which will never be yours because it isn’t meant to?

Bitter? No.. not at all. I just feel regretful over those people who were given opportunities but waste them due to lack of gratitude and determination. They don’t know how rare those opportunities come by…

Stubborn Love

May* was the middle of the three daughters of Mr. and Mrs. Pacheco. May was kind of stubborn, a rebel, in fact. She loves to do what her parents said she mustn’t. Her father was an overseas contract worker and her mother was a public school teacher. Being a responsible father, Mr. Pacheco tried to impart his work values on his children while as a teacher, Mrs. Pacheco preached on various virtues including respect not just to parents but the elders in general.

May, obviously, was tired of her parents’ self-righteousness. For her, they are just that.. self righteous and hypocrites. So, she waited for every opportunity to defy them.

Then, one day, her ‘perfect’ sister made the mistake of falling in love with a bum. Their parents tried everything in their power to separate their first born from the good-for-nothing guy and they were so relieved when their eldest daughter came to her senses and broke up with him.

May saw the opportunity. A few months after her sister’s break-up with the bum, she ran away with him. At first it was fun. The guy was so cool. He just did whatever he liked. He followed no rules and answered to no one. Then, after a few weeks, May was beginning to panic. Her money was running out and the bum showed no intention of looking for work.

Then, one morning, May woke up with a severe stomach ache. She was hungry, something that never happened to her before. There was no food anywhere in the house. The bum was in his regular drinking session out on the street. May felt alone and stupid.

She packed her bags and without looking bag, left the bum, who didn’t know she left or maybe didn’t even care. She came home to her parents who took her back without questions.

*not real name

The Facebook Account

Last week, I received a distressed call from a friend. This friend of mine is a smart and tough guy. So, I was kind of surprised when he sounded distressed. But then again, as he spoke over the phone, I eventually realized it wasn’t distress I heard, it was actually frustration.

It seems like, our college friend, Sarah*, who happened to be his girlfriend for a short while in the past, has been calling her every time she and her boyfriend have a fight.The calls have become constant lately which means, they constantly fight. So, one time, my friend, the caller, logged on to Facebook and sent her a private message encouraging her to just break up with her boyfriend. But Sarah simply said she couldn’t do that and she would just wait for her boyfriend to grow tired of her and dump her. (Can you believe that?) Her boyfriend happened to be married. So, that makes her other woman, right?

Then, the next time my friend, the caller, logged on to FB, he found a message from Sarah. Only, it wasn’t from Sarah but from
the jerk her boyfriend, confronting my friend for encouraging Sarah to break up with him. My friend was enraged and they argued which ended up putting Sarah in the middle.

Bottom line, why does the jerk have Sarah’s password? She gave it to him. How did I know? She told it to me, herself.. :(

The Bravest Things..

I’m not a brave person. I’m scared of a lot of things. I’m scared of dogs, of fast vehicles, of blood, of drunk. I’m even scared of dentists, of nurses, of crossing a busy street. Sometimes, I find my fears irrational and very embarrassing.

In my nearly four decades of life, I can name very few things I did that I can consider courageous. Among such things were: joining a writing contest in college when my chances of winning was very very slim, joining a nationwide search for writers in a popular magazine, staying with my father when he was dying of the big ‘C’ and accepting failure of the thing that I thought I was exceptionally good at.

It was my last semester in college when I finally joined the annual writing contest. I wasn’t after the price money nor the prestige of being a winner. I simply felt that I would regret not taking that last chance. I ended up third place in the contest making that single moment of triumph my most memorable in college.

I was a mother of two girls when I found out about the nationwide search for the members of the Wise Moms Club of the Good Housekeeping Magazine in 2001. I was after the free subscription of the prestigious magazine if I became a member. Getting accepted made me realize that I really could write.

In 2004, my father came home from the US. He was dying of cancer. I was able to watch him catch his last breaths, not because I was brave or courageous, but because I couldn’t stand the idea of not being with him at the last moments of his life.

Last year, I gave up a longed-for position as a preschool teacher in a nearby Christian school. It was the bravest thing I’ve done in my life so far. I had to do it, though, not for myself but for the sake of the students under my care and my colleagues who would get affected if I mess up big time. Giving up something I’ve always wanted to do was a big blow to me. I felt as if I wasn’t good enough for anything, I was worthless. I was useless. Though I knew, I shouldn’t dwell on that, I still did. But only for a time. I gave myself a chance to mourn over something very very important.. my self esteem.

But that was several months ago, practically history. Here I am now, trying to make things better not because it’s the least I can do, but because I strongly believe I could make it.

‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. (The Princess Diaries)’

When Your Child Has Grown

Everybody in the family thinks my youngest child, my son Daryl is my favorite. I don’t think that’s true because I don’t have any favorite. If I tend to be more protective of Daryl, it’s only because he’s the youngest and he’s the last baby in the house.

In fact, I still see him as a baby, my baby. I know I’m not supposed to treat him that way anymore, but I can’t help it. It’s just too difficult to let go. There are times that I miss the babies they once were and I want to just hold them.

Lately, my son has been going out in the afternoons to play with the other kids in the subdivision. Though I always remind him to come back before sunset, he always forgets claiming that he lost track of time because he was having so much fun. I don’t want to be KJ but I worry about him being outside when it gets dark. Though I’m sure that he could come home by himself and that he’s just playing nearby, I still feel uneasy.

I know I’m not the only mother who feels this way when her kids grow up, and in time I know I’ll get used to the idea that my kids have already grown. The least I can do right now is to pray to God to send an angel to watch over my son all the time..

Whose Love Letter?

Dante* is a simple guy with simple needs. He works hard to put food on the table for his family and as long as the earphones of his MP3 are plugged into his ears, he has no complaints. He doesn’t trouble anybody so he doesn’t expect trouble from anybody as well.

So, he was understandably pissed off when the wife of one of his fellow tricycle drivers accused him of seducing her. According to the woman, Dante has been courting her and in fact has been sending her love letters. But Dante’s reaction to the accusations was a little.. too much.

He was raging mad. Then, eventually, we found out why. To one of his very few trusted friends, he ranted how he couldn’t even read nor write, so where did the love letters come from, who wrote them, or do they even exist at all?

Well, obviously, the woman has been lying to everyone. She is probably hiding something from her husband and chose Dante as the fall guy. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know that particular truth about Dante.

*not real name

What Practice Can Do

I’ve been hearing the saying ‘Practice makes perfect’ for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, I found it a little annoying. But when I got a little older, I finally proved to myself that it was actually right.

It applies in sports. Though I’m not a sports minded person and I seldom watch games, I know how much time athletes spend in training. My friend, a billiard champion in the province can attest to the importance of practicing his sport. Every day, he spends a few hours playing billiard until such time that he could already anticipate the movement of the balls.

It applies in music. My brother, a musician, spends a few hours every morning to master a particular song. He said that he wanted every part of his body to get accustomed to it, the movement of his fingers, the tap of his feet and even the slight swaying of his hips in order to feel the music flow in his body. He says, when he practices hard enough, playing would just come out naturally that it would be like he isn’t playing at all but just snapping his fingers or blinking his eye. Well, don’t you just want that level of mastery??

It applies in writing. When I started blogging, I read some pointers on how to be a good blogger and among the top tips to become one is to keep on writing. At first, I thought it was pointless. If you are a good writer, you would come up with something anytime you like. Words would flood your mind and flow out of your fingers.

Well, I discovered, the hard way unfortunately, that it wasn’t that way at all. In 2012, due to some unfortunate events, I nearly stopped writing. I neglect my blogs posting only almost twice a month. After more than a year of negligence, my enthusiasm came back and I found myself excited to write again. But it hadn’t been easy. I spent hours staring at the blank screen waiting for my mind to work and come up with something sensible to write.

I realized, then, that I needed to practice in order to refine my writing skills. So, I decided to post on my blogs three times a week. After three months of doing exactly that, I find it easier to write about something, anything. Practice makes it easier for me to think of an idea and to elaborate that idea and put into writing.

Now, I enjoy blogging more than ever. After all, writing is my passion, alongside teaching and crafting.

When Love Turns OA

Alfred* is my childhood acquaintance. We were practically neighbors and though we weren't close, we felt a kind of familiarity that only people who grew up together have. Though I left our hometown when I went to college, I still heard news about  my old acquaintances including Alfred. I learned that he married another one of our distant neighbors, that they had two children and that they got separated after a few years of marriage. I also knew that he found someone else, someone from a nearby town and that they've been living together even since.

So, I was sort of shocked when, after attending our grand alumni homecoming last February, I heard that he was courting one of my very close friends. For one, Alfred is living with someone and second, my friend is married, though their marriage is on the edge. It seems like Alfred has been in love with my friend since we were in high school and now that he found her again, he didn't want to let her go.

My friend was shocked and hurt when he learned that Alfred was with someone at the moment. His justification was that he knew that my friend would not give him a minute's notice if she knew he was involved with another woman. Alfred begged, cried and even postponed his flight abroad just so he could earn my friend's forgiveness. Not wanting to be responsible if Alfred lose his job, my friend forgave him and urged him to go.

Encouraged by my friend's kindness, Alfred went on with his job overseas.  But he calls my friend every single day since he left the country. But when asked about his family here in the Philippines, he said that he doesn't call nor text his 'wife' and that he doesn't have any intention of going back to her and he would ignore her until she leaves on her own will. It was to prove to my friend that she was the one he loves.

My friend found it preposterous and unfair. Since she didn't want to be the cause of another woman's despair, she talked with Alfred telling him that it was wrong and he had to stop. Alfred threatened to kill himself if my friend stop accepting his calls. But my friend refused to be emotionally blackmailed. Then, Alfred told her he would come home as soon as he earn enough money to buy a ticket. Naturally, my friend tried to talk him out of it and he promised to stay if she would give him her word that she would wait for him. But my friend wouldn't.

Alfred, probably feeling that his threats wouldn't work, promised to stay for the sake of my friend. At this point in time, my friend grew tired of Alfred's attempts to manipulate her and I congratulated her for it. As for Alfred, well, he's one OA guy..

*not real name

Some People Don't Want to Be Helped

I know I’m not the only one who know such people. I don’t know, though, if they feel the way I do about those people. I feel frustrated.

I may be a person of very simple means but I treat my friends like family. I go to so much trouble to help them out in any mess they get themselves into and I may not be able to help them financially but I give the most precious thing I could, my time and undivided attention.

And I feel frustrated when I see them give up the fight and give in to self destruction. It hurts to watch them brood and mope hating life and everything around them. But it hurts more to feel helpless and rejected. The feeling that you could have helped if only they would let you eats at you.

At first I blamed myself for not trying hard enough. But then again, I learned to forgive myself and let go but the forgiving and the letting go usually come after a long while. Still, it made me feel better about myself and I learned some valuable lessons. No matter how much we love our friends and how much we wanted to help them out, we simply can’t solve their problems for them.

When Things Ended

My friend *Jessica has been married with her husband for twenty years. Out of those twenty years, fifteen had been perfect. The sixteenth was clouded with suspicions and distrust and the last two were spent apart.

Jessica started to suspect that her husband was cheating on her when he began to spend less time with her and their kids. Then, he started to put his cellphone inside his pillowcase when he sleeps, stay beside the cellphone when being charged and take the cellphone with him inside the bathroom.

When Jessica saw a  silver ring inside the secret pocket of his jeans she put it back assuming it was for her, but her birthday has come and gone, but the ring was never seen again. When Jessica found two stubs of cinema tickets in his jacket pocket, she couldn't help but confront her husband, who, naturally denied they were his.

Neighbors and close friends told her how her husband was constantly seen with his ex-girlfriend whom her husband introduced as childhood friend. Jessica told her husband how jealous she feels about the girl and asked him to do something to assure her that there was nothing going on between them, but her husband found her request unreasonable.

After three years of living like that, Jessica took their children and went home to her family. Her husband considered it the ultimate betrayal. He blamed Jessica for every single thing that befell their marriage. It was Jessica who left him alone and broken and he could never forgive her for that, EVER.

Two years had passed and Jessica still hopes and believes that things will go back the way they used to be, but when asked if he still love her, he couldn't answer, but simply said.. '..everything was all your fault. If you didn't leave me the way you did, this won't happen to us...'

How many jerks do we have to meet in one lifetime? Because I keep on coming across them through my friends.. :(

*not real name

Self Imprisoned

Honestly, I can’t imagine why someone, ANYONE, would choose to imprison herself in an invisible cell of her own design. All the more so if that someone is pretty, smart and healthy.

My friend Tanya* was 19 when she got pregnant by her conceited boyfriend. Considering no other choices but to marry the jerk, she did, and as we expected, she was verbally and emotionally abused. The unhappy marriage lasted for several years until the guy grew tired of her and left her for someone else.

Tanya nursed her broken heart for quite a while until she met someone else. But Someone Else was married. Probably desperate and convinced that the guy would leave his wife for her, Tanya went on with the relationship. And just like the first jerk, this second jerk treated her unfairly. He was jealous and possessive and he kept on ordering her around.

When I invited her to sleep over in our house, she felt embarrassed and told me that her boyfriend doesn’t allow her to go somewhere unless he’s with her. When I asked her if she’s still happy with their relationship, because as long as she is, then that’s fine by me. But it seems like she felt not only  unhappy but also trapped.

Tanya is only 40 years old at the moment. Her kids are almost grown up and she still has a great chance to find someone who will make her happy. But how could she find someone if she chose to imprison herself with the life she thought she deserves?

*not real name