No Love Lost

My friend’s grandfather used to be one of the most affluent men in our place. That was, he used to own acres and acres of land. As the years passed, the land was sold little by little until what was left was just enough for him to, at least, enjoy his remaining years of life.

Though considered to be one of the smartest guys that ever lived in town, this old man wasn’t able to teach his children how to love and to look out for each other. As a matter of fact, they seemed to hate each other and even hate each other more as the years go by.

When the old man passed away more than 10 years ago, his properties were automatically inherited by his heirs. Unfortunately, his children were not all in good terms with each other. In each of his own devious way, every one of his child tried to outsmart his siblings one way or the other. The youngest, being the closest to their father before the latter died, placed his father’s largest piece of land under mortgage but did not share the money with his siblings.

When his siblings learned about what he did, they hated him more than they could say. He didn’t care, after all, he outwitted his older siblings and that was, for him, victory in itself. Unfortunately, this sly youngest brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. Intolerant of hypocrisy, his older siblings mourned very little and gave him a decent burial.

A few years after his death, his equally sly widow schemed to sell the land her late husband placed under mortgage and apparently intended to keep the money to herself. This time, the older siblings united and sought counsel.

The widow is now facing complaint filed by her late husband’s older siblings.

“Greed has taken the whole universe, and nobody is worried about their soul.” –Little Richard

A Farting Incident

 Kristoff: .. what if you hate the way he picks his nose?

          Anna: .. picks his nose???

          Kristoff: … and eats it.

Well, that’s one of the most popular exchanges between Anna and Kristoff from the animated film Frozen. You may agree with me if I say I found it funny.

But seriously, are we really willing to accept the worst in the person we love?

Twenty years ago, a friend of mine had a very kind and loving boyfriend. In addition to that, he was also smart and talented. As for the looks department, though he wasn’t exactly handsome, he didn’t look bad either. But I guess the thing that my friend really liked about him was his being thoughtful and kind plus the fact that he was very much in love with her.

And that love was put to the test sooner than we expected.

They attended the wedding of one of her close friends. One thing I could say about my friend is that she has a healthy appetite. So, she ate and ate.. and ate. With the amount of food she ingested, it wasn’t at all surprising that she suddenly felt her stomach aching. Though she didn’t feel that she had to go to the bathroom, she felt the urgent and great need to pass some.. gas.

She looked for the bathroom, but the line was impossibly long. She needed to get away before she embarrassed herself. She walked away as fast as she could without any idea where she was going. Then, she saw her boyfriend inside a telephone booth and an idea dawned on her.

She went inside the booth catching her boyfriend by surprise. In her most serious voice, she asked him..

‘Do you really love me?’

Her boyfriend was so stunned he could just nod.

‘Do you really, really, truly love me?’

This time, her boyfriend got very very curious..

‘Yes.. but.. what is this all about?’

My friend hugged her boyfriend and passed the loudest and most foul smelling fart in her whole life.

Well.. they didn’t break up that time. They did, though, after two years, and it had nothing to do with the, well.. the above mentioned farting incident. :D

The Plaques

Jenna* and Carlo* were my childhood friends. They are siblings. We attended birthday parties together, we went to the cemetery together during All Soul’s Day, we exchanged Christmas gifts and so on. Needless to say, we went to the same school.

I knew them inside and out. Jenna was a lanky girl, rebellious and stubborn while Carlo was puny and obedient. I have also known that their parents were conservative and authoritarian. Jenna was required to attend the mass wearing a long skirt with her face covered with veil. It was during the time when girls my age were wearing denim mini-skirt and sleeveless tops. Carlo, on the other hand, was required to serve as altar boy.

When we went to college, I wasn’t surprised to learn that the siblings took courses they didn’t like. Jenna took up Nursing and Carlo took up Accountancy. Jenna, I knew, wanted to take up Tourism and Carlo wanted to take up Fine Arts. But their father’s word was law and they had no choice but to obey.

Three weeks ago when I went home to the province, I passed by their house and saw two name plaques, Jenna’s, a Registered Nurse and Carlo’s a Certified Public Accountant. I was happy for them and for their father. It seems like the siblings made their father’s dream come true. So, I asked my cousins about them. I learned that as soon as the two of them passed the board exam, they left their father’s house. First, it was Jenna, then Carlo followed suit.

The next time I saw the plaques, I stared at them and thought of my friends’ father. He may have gotten the plaques he always wished for but it seems like he wasn’t able to make his children stay.

 *not real name

What an Airhead!

I met Arthur* last year when I was invited for a drink by a close friend. I’m sorry about this but I can be very discriminative sometimes, and with this particular person, I felt just.. that, discriminative, I mean.

I don’t know, but there was something off about him, for me. It’s harsh for me to say it but I will say it anyway, I didn’t like him. But as a matter of common courtesy, I didn’t snub him or anything.

The following day, I received a text message from an unknown number. But since he identified himself, I knew right away that it was the Arthur that I met the day before. Still trying to be polite, I texted him back and asked him how he was. We exchanged text messages until I felt I had enough so, I invented something to do and said my goodbye. Obviously, he wanted to befriend me. Well, I couldn’t find anything wrong with that.

The following day, he texted again, then the next day and the next. By then, I already got used to receiving text messages from him which are basically friendly and harmless. Then, he started to invite me to come over for their town fiesta which is still five months away.

I said that was very nice of him to invite me and that I’ll think it over. Then he said that he didn’t want me to think it over, he wanted me to say ‘yes’ right then and there. So, I said I couldn’t do that, that it’s still five months away and something important might come up. He said that’s why he was telling me about it as early as then, so, I could set aside other matters and give way for their town fiesta in my schedule.

Well, I was beginning to get pissed off but I had to be polite, so I said, I’ll try. But he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. So, I said I didn’t say no, I said 'I’ll try. But it wasn’t good enough for him. He said he wanted me to come.

That’s it.

I said, I’ll try. That’s the only answer I could give him, take it or leave it.

Who is this guy???

I didn’t text him back again. EVER.

The Simple Wish

When I was in college, there was this professor that I admired much.

She was a brilliant professor, liked by her colleagues and admired by her students like me. She knew the lessons by heart that she didn’t bring anything with her in class. She would ask us to open this so and so pages and then, she will discuss what was in there. She was able to answer the questions we asked from her and she mastered the art of asking questions that made us think hard.

Aside from teaching, which I learned she was only doing part time, she had a Psychology Clinic somewhere in the city. She also wrote reference books and articles published in Psychology journals. She surely was one accomplished person.

But one day, I noticed dark smudges under her eyes and I joked that maybe she stayed the whole night making a very difficult exam for us. She answered me with another joke, or so I thought. She said that she had only one wish, and that was to get up in the morning fully awake and no longer sleepy.

I asked her, seriously, what time she woke up in the morning and she said 4 o’clock every single morning of her life. I asked her why she had to wake up that early and she answered there was always something very important to do. Quite pushy, I asked her what about weekends and she said that was the time she had to go home in the province to visit her mother.

But surely she had a choice, surely she could afford to sleep as much as she liked but she sincerely said no, she hadn’t. Then I knew I had to let it go.. But I also have to learn from it to not subject myself to such pressure that will deprive me of one of the best things a person can get.. sound and adequate sleep.

What Would Push Someone to Walk Away?

Last week, my friend, Jamie* sent me a private message on Facebook telling me she has a problem. Though I already have an idea what her problem was, I still had to confirm it. And I was right, sadly. She walked out on her husband.

Why? How could a woman leave her husband of 20+ years and 6 children. There was only one explanation I had in mind. She was pushed to leave.

I guessed it right.

That night, my friend came over. When I asked her what happened, she said she couldn’t recall everything. She just remembered changing her shirt, grabbing her wallet and walking out the door without turning back. When I asked her about her children, she said she couldn’t take them with her.

Twenty and more years ago, Jamie met the man of her dreams, though she didn’t know it at the time. Unaware of what she really felt for the guy, she was shaken when she learned that the guy got his girlfriend pregnant and married her. Jamie was devastated. She lost her friend, her mentor and the guy she deeply loved.

She turned to the easiest and most inviting of ways, self destruction. She entered into a relationship in an attempt to mend her broken heart. Naturally, it didn’t work. It was then she met Alex. He got her pregnant so they got married.

But if Jamie thought she was settling down for good, she was wrong. Alex was a suspicious, spineless and slothful creature who wouldn’t work and wouldn’t let his wife work because she might flirt with another man. But the bills were piling and the kids were growing fast. So, Jamie had to push Alex to work and so he did, but what he earned was not enough for their growing family. So, finally, he let Jamie work. But with his constant nagging, Jamie had to stop working and with what very little Alex was making, Jamie was soon deep in depth. And to top it all off, Alex, sick and tired of Jamie’s complaints started to raise his hands on her.

Overwhelmed with physical, financial and emotional problems, Jamie sought for a diversion and found one in Dino*. The relationship which started in Facebook eventually became physical. But it seems like Jamie is unlucky in love, Dino turned out to be a jerk. So, Jamie had to put an end to the relationship.

Unfortunately, a year after Jamie’s clandestine affair had ended, Alex found out about it. Jamie was caught and she had no choice but to admit her sin. Things got from bad to worse. The beating became more often and Jamie started to fear for her life. And even though Alex forgave his wife for her infidelity, could not forget what she did and he brings out the issue every single chance he gets.

Then, that night, Alex, out of the blue, announced to their children that he had something important to say. Then, to Jamie, he said that he would file an adultery case against her so that everybody would know, especially their children, what kind of whore she was.

Jamie didn’t know how she could face her children when that happens. She picked up her wallet from the table and walked out of the house..

Sad. Isn’t it?

*not real name

When It Stopped Being Family

Mylene* is a widow. Her husband was murdered several years ago leaving her with three small boys to raise. As is tradition to us, Filipinos, she left her children to her older sister, who has a family of her own, while she worked abroad.

For years, she's been sending monthly allowance to her children. The entire time she was working abroad, she came home only once leaving her children under the absolute care of her sister and her family.

Last week, Mylene came home. She had with her a new nanny for her children and accused her sister of squandering the money she sent from abroad, the money that was supposed to be for her children. She asked her sister to pay her back all the money she sent her.

Mylene ranted on how her sister maltreated her children and how her sister's family benefited from the money she sent. Rumors had it that she ordered her sister and her family out of the house she was renting for her children.

I've known Mylene all my life. I know that she has a tendency to overreact and to be tactless most of the time, but to accuse her sister of all the things she said when all these years it was her sister who has been taking care of her kids, was for me a very sad thing :(

I don't know the whole story and I'm not sure if I'd want to know. All I know is that they are family, always were and always will be. I sincerely wish they settle whatever differences they have before that family falls apart altogether..

*not real name

How to Treat Our Neighbors..

Sometime when I was younger, I’ve heard in one of the homilies that one of the greatest blessings a man could have is a good neighbor.

Since then, any place I get to live, I made it my business to be in good terms with my neighbors. I could say I’ve always been successful (until now :D). Finding a good neighbor, however, is a two-way process. In order to have a good neighbor, you must be a good neighbor yourself.

You have to, first and foremost, show respect to your neighbors. To this I mean turning down the volume of your radio or television, not littering on you neighbor’s yard, not letting your pet eat your neighbor’s food, and not spreading gossip about your neighbor. They may sound petty, but they are true and they are frequently violated.

We have to be polite with our neighbor and treat him the way we want to be treated. After all, when something goes wrong, it is our neighbor whom we could ask the most immediate help from. He may not be able to help us but he may be able to cry for help.

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27

What Else is Lacking?

Gina* and Miko* met in college. They were classmates and they became sweethearts in no time. For years they were a happy couple until Gina got pregnant. Just so people wouldn't say that they got married only because of the baby, they didn't. Their daughter was already three years old when they finally settled down.

So, Gina became the mistress of the house, a role she played very well and very successfully. Though waited on by house maids, Gina personally supervises everything, from the food to prepare to Miko's suits. Even the schedule of regular car wash was managed by Gina. She was a hands on mother to their daughter helped only by the live-in sitter especially when she was out with Miko or busy preparing a party for Miko's friends.

Moreover, she didn't neglect her looks. She worked out and stayed slim and had a regular appointment with the derma and the hairdresser. She always made sure to look her best for Miko.

So, when Miko left her for another woman, we couldn't think of anything to say to comfort her and make her feel better. Because even we didn't know what else was wrong and lacking. And now that marriage is already annulled, we all wish the best for Gina.

*not real name

The Manager

Ruth* is every inch the manager. Smartly dressed complete with fashionable shoes and accessories, fluent in both English and Filipino and somehow intimidating.

When I met her, I didn’t know if I was scared of her or quite irritated. Scared because she can take my job away if she finds me wanting and irritated because she was making us all feel uncomfortable and completely stressed out. She is the kind of person whom everybody would like to be when she grows up. Though I, for one, would rather prefer to be more.. warm and approachable.

She told us a little about herself, how she started as an ordinary employee and became a fearless manager for the greater part of her nine working years. She was one successful girl. Then, she said something that I would never forget. She said that until now, she isn’t sure whether her career is the right one for her.

I was thinking, how could it be? How could such apparently successful individual question whether the thing she seems to excel in is right for her. How did she stand working in a kind of business that she didn’t like all these years.

I suddenly felt proud of the times when I was teaching. I never ever question whether it was the right job for me. I simply knew. Someday I would go back to teaching and continue educating young people.

 *not real name

A Memory: Another Dark Night

It was sometime in 1990. My father was about to close the billiard hall for the night and I was helping him pack up. My mother was behind me sweeping the floor with an old broom.

Then, a man materialized out of.. I really didn’t know, and begged in a husky voice.. ‘help me..’

He was clasping his belly with his hand. From it seeped the darkest red fluid I ever saw. It was blood. I froze. I couldn’t move, but when I heard my mother yelled at me ‘get inside!’ I ran and didn’t come back.

My father ran to call for help, the police station, the health center, the barangay hall, but it took almost an hour before the injured man was taken to the nearest hospital. We soon learned that the man passed by a group of drug addicts in the dark and was stabbed by one of them. He ran for help until he came to our billiard hall which was the only open place that night. Fortunately, the suspect was caught and eventually jailed. Unfortunately, the victim died.

Somehow, our town learned a lesson from that dark night, additional street lights were put up and police officers patrolled around the town every once in a while. Though it was sad that it took one innocent life before the town learned to be more vigilant, I guess we just had to learn to accept that.

On Love Triangle

Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

For as long as I could remember, love triangle has been featured as a theme in movies and romantic fiction. Among those were The Notebook, Twilight Saga and The Hunger Games. I’m partial to these three because they are what I remember the most, Hunger Games being very recent, Twilight being super popular and The Notebook being one of my favorite movies.

Still, they are just that, movies. But the question whether it is possible to love two people at the same time is left unanswered. There are those who would say definitely not because if you really love someone, you will never get to fall in love with someone else. But, there are those who consider love a complicated thing and in which everything and anything is possible, and that a loving heart can accommodate a thousand let alone two equally deserving people.

So, is it really possible to love two people at the same time?

Theoretically, I go with the latter opinion but I wish never to be in the position to tell whether it is true or not.

The Third Time

As college students, my sister Liz and I lived in a boarding house. Since we are not permanent residents of the place (we were not even voters), we did not know the neighbors that well.

One night, as we were deep in sleep, I was woken by a commotion. Since I wasn’t brave enough to find out what was wrong, I waited until somebody turned on the light. I went out of the room and saw my landlady’s back on her way out. I waited for her in the living room. When she came back, I asked her what was the commotion about and she answered casually.

“Eric was rushed to the hospital”

Who the hell is Eric?

As if reading my mind, my landlady continued..

“Eric is our neighbor’s only son..”

Uh-huh?

“The gay next door..”

Ooohh! The gay..

“Why, what’s wrong with him? Is he sick?” I finally asked.

“He took sleeping pills.. the entire bottle”

“What?!!!”

“Oh, don’t be so shocked. This is the third time he has done it, I mean tried to kill himself. You may go back to sleep now..”

I wasn’t able to go back to sleep right away. I spent the night thinking how unhappy Eric is to want to die three times already. Then, I thought of myself, how I struggle hard to finish my studies in order to have a better life. Why do I want a better life when my neighbor does not want his life at all?

Strange how people deal with life.

Is Late Love Already Lost Love?

Thanks to Facebook we are able to get in touch with people we haven’t seen for a long while.

I felt so glad when I saw a friend request from someone I haven’t seen for more than 20 years. As I hoped, we became reunited and constantly chat online besides exchange of occasional text messages.

Then, on Christmas, she texted me saying that she had trouble at home, domestic trouble, as in husband and wife trouble. I learned that Facebook reunited not just her and me, but her and another person from her past as well, that person being special then and now. The person became her husband’s object of jealousy and caused a rift between them.

Last week, my friend confided in me that she’s in a very difficult situation. She’s been married to her husband for 20 years and has been in love with her old friend all this time. And now that old friend has come back into her life, with a domestic problem of his own similar to hers, making them all the more right for each other.

If only it’s as easy as breaking up and finding a new life with someone, but it isn’t. There are children involved and family extensions to consider. I asked my friend for how long she thinks she could hang on to being with the person she married. She said, she’s trying her mightiest but still couldn’t foresee how everything would end up.

I feel for her and for others who are in her position. But sympathetic though I am to her predicament, I could never solve her problems for her nor could I make decisions that are for her to make.