Daddy Knows Best

Brian* is in 4th year. He is studying in a small private school somewhere in Bulacan and he was my student for the UP College Admission Test review.

He is a quiet boy of 16. In fact, he is very quiet that even when we ask him, he usually never answer, he just.. smile. So, I learned to paraphrase my question and instead of asking for the answer, I would ask him if he knew the answer. To this, his most frequent answer is ‘no.’

He doesn’t know that children is a plural noun because he doesn’t even know the difference between a singular and plural noun. He couldn’t identify the subject in the sentence much more the form of the verb that agrees with it. When I found out that he doesn’t know whether the word cake is a name word (noun) or an action word (verb) I made my decision, I have to talk to his father. There is no way Brian is going to pass the UPCAT. How he passed his 3rd year in school, I have no idea, especially when I learned that he was even worse in Math and Science.

As his father usually picks him up at the parking area of the mall, I asked our Officer-In-Charge to please formally invite him to come over the center. And he did.

I began by asking about Brian’s performance in school and after a long silence he admitted that Brian was really not doing well. He said when he asked Brian why he was getting such low grades, the boy said that his classmates were so noisy that he couldn’t understand the lessons.

I waited until he was done talking and so explained to him (sparing him some painful details like the ‘children’ and the ‘cake’) that Brian seems to be unfamiliar with the basic rules of grammar. I also told him that his son has limited English vocabulary that affects his reading comprehension skills. So, I recommended that he enroll Brian in a tutorial center though not necessarily in ours but maybe somewhere closer to their house, or they may hire a private tutor. I told him that it will be better to do it while it’s still the first quarter of the school and the lessons are still few. And that, it will  help Brian not only in school but also in his future college education.

Brian’s father listened carefully and appeared to have understood what I was trying to tell him. He said, he is going to discuss it with his wife and decide whether to enroll the boy in our center or hire a private tutor. He thanked me sincerely and bid us goodbye.

Brian took the UPCAT last Saturday. We may not hope he would pass, we still prayed that he would..

Teachers are second parents. Generally, they love their students like their own children. I wish I could do more to help Brian, and as I believe parents know best when it comes to their children, I know his father would do the right thing..

*not real name

The Excursion

Our 5-month PLAYSCHOOL program officially started and as expected, we have nice students and 'not-so-nice’ students. One such student in the latter group is Izzy* a 3-year old bratinella whose habit is to make other people’s lives miserable.

Obviously, Izzy is spoiled, both by her parents. Her father is a businessman and her mother is a physician who is on-leave because of her second pregnancy. No wonder they enrolled Izzy in our program, brat as she is, she needs behavior modification before the birth of the new baby.

First and foremost, Izzy doesn’t want to be left by mommy, she wants mommy inside the play school, a practice which we greatly discourage as it contradicts the purpose of the program. So, we try to be firm about it. Unfortunately, Izzy’s mom is not as cooperative as we wish her to be. Instead of leaving Izzy to our care, she has the habit of showing herself to the little girl just when the girl is having fun. And sure enough, at the sight of her mother, Izzy would insist on having her inside disrupting the momentum of the entire class. And what more? Mommy would get inside the playschool and insist that Izzy doesn’t want her to go. The disappointed teacher, not wanting to embarrass the mother, would just keep quiet and focus on the other students.

Last week, the lesson was ‘proper use of escalator.’ The teacher got the students ready for a short visit to the nearest escalator to demonstrate how to ride it safely. As usual, Izzy wanted mommy to tag along. But teacher was firm. She gave Izzy 2 choices, either to leave mommy and go with them, or to stay with mommy and miss the demonstration. Izzy wanted to go, but she wanted mommy to go with her. Teacher said no and made the decision, they will leave Izzy behind. But every time they tried to leave, Izzy would start wailing and stomping her feet on the floor. So, Teacher would start convincing her again. This went on for a few minutes until Izzy’s classmates became restless. Now, Teacher really had no choice. One goodbye wave at Izzy and off she went with the class.

Izzy was crestfallen. She cried as if she wanted to die THEN AND THERE. So, mommy got up and led Izzy out of the school to where Teacher and classmates were having the demonstration. Once  again, Teacher’s purpose went down the drain..

How children would turn out depends on how the parents trained them in their formative years. If there is a chance to make them sensitive, considerate and responsible individuals, that chance is NOW while they are young. And one of the best ways to teach them is by being firm about rules and conditions.

The TEACHER, Her HUSBAND and THE YOUNGER WOMAN

Mrs. Carlos* is one of the most respectable people in our town. She was my English teacher in high school. She is one of my mentors.

About 5 years ago, I learned that her husband went philandering and was having a relationship with a woman my age (31 at the time). I felt sad for my teacher. But when I got a chance to visit her, she seemed to be doing just fine. She looked… older, yes, but she was still the formidable teacher I remember her to be.Everyone knew that she was aware of her husband’s ‘affair,’ but she remained as gentle as she was. If she had changed in any way, I’m sure I would learn of it.

Her husband, as if proud to have seduced a younger woman, seems to be shameless of he was doing. The younger woman, a personal acquaintance of mine, was just as shameless as my teacher’s husband. Together, they made our once quiet and typical small town sensational.

Last year, however, I received a text message from a friend. She said, in case I was interested, the younger woman left my teacher’s husband for someone younger and more financially well-off.

Well.. was I surprised? NOT AT ALL…

My teacher? I was happy to see her on Facebook. I was even happier when she accepted my friend request and I was completely elated when she answered my birthday greeting early this month with.. ‘Tnx, anak’

*not real name

What's NOT DIFFICULT?

Since all of our review classes for the College Entrance Test have ended and we are no longer opening another class, all inquiries about the review are offered the tutorial program which is about 50% more expensive than the class. Some parents who believe that their children need the review before taking the actual test avail of the program regardless of the cost.

One such parent is Riza's*. Her mother, convinced that Riza needs the review more than the girl wants to admit enrolled her under the tutorial class. So, she took the assessment test, which runs for 2 hours, then she attended the first session. We didn't notice anything out of the ordinary during that time. So, we were kind of curious when she didn't show up for the next session, and the next, and the next...

2 days ago, I was informed that Riza was no longer continuing her program. I was astounded. We, teachers, believe that she really needs the program and she's doing quite well. So, we asked the receptionist why. Well, it seems like Riza was overwhelmed by the difficulty of the review. But of course it is difficult, what does she expect, a picnic on the hill?

According to the receptionist, Riza was 'scared.' That left us more curious than we already were. Scared of what? Of the review materials? Of us teachers? Of the actual test? Whatever she is afraid of, dropping the program wouldn't help. Obviously, the mother did not expound on the reason for her daughter's dropping out. It was either she believes Riza's fear is justifiable, she's used to Riza's weakness or she simply has a lot of money to spend.

I honestly would like to know why the girl dropped out. Are we really that scary? If we are, maybe the mom would talk with us first to brief us on how to handle Riza without scaring her. But she is already 15, and we don't grow fangs and tails when we teach. Well, if Riza is one of those kids who quit when things get tough, then dropping the program may make it worse. Anyway, that's just an opinion. If the girl doesn't want to continue with the program, of course we would respect her decision as we do to anyone else.

"As an individual gets older, things get tougher and the world gets harsher. I do believe we couldn't shield our children from every single harm that might befall them. What we can only do is to help them develop courage and faith in themselves, in their family who loves them and in the LORD who helps them every step of the way.." :)

*not real name

A Hostile Call

Aside from the comprehensive review for the high school entrance test, we also offer refresher courses which, unlike the comprehensive which include lectures and detailed explanation of each item, consists of different types of tests. The purpose of which is to get the student ready for the actual test. We see to it that the distinction between the two programs is explained to the client before we process the enrollment. But since the fee for the comprehensive review is twice as much as the refresher course, some parents prefer the cheaper and shorter program.

Early last month, a parent called us complaining about how we handle our refresher course. She said that her daughter did not understand anything because we didn't give any lecture. She also asked what kind of review do we offer that we just gave out exams and the students have to do the hard work while the teachers are paid for watching the students take the exams.

The teacher who answered the phone explained why there was no lecture, at the same time countered what the client said about 'teachers being paid while watching.' He made it clear that though we just gave out exams, we explain the answer to each item but we don't expound on the basic. (eg. 'the answer is letter b. gerund because a gerund is formed by putting verb+ing together and that it is used as noun' but we don't explain that gerund is a verbal which is verb in form but functions as other part of speech like noun, adjective and adverb)

The parent  ranted on about her daughter's being an honor student in her school and asked why she got less than half of the number of items. She said we are all incompetent and that she wanted a refund, apparently forgetting that the form she signed states that payments are 'non-refundable.' And after stressing the fact that we don't start our lessons with a prayer, she slammed the phone down.

We got ourselves ready with our explanation and evaluation of the student who was actually mediocre and not exceptionally bright like the mother claims. She didn't come..

People have a tendency to overreact especially if the one concerned is a person they care about. It is not, however, an excuse to judge and belittle other people whom they never even met..

When Is The Time for LOVE

My grade 2 teacher, Mrs. Montero* was married to an overseas contract worker. They had 3 kids, all of them are girls. The oldest, Farah, was my classmate from grade 1 to 4th year high school. I’ve always thought they were wealthy. After all, they were among the very few people with concrete houses in our small town.

I used to play with Farah when we were young and I can still remember how overwhelmed I was with their collection of toys. They had the coolest toys in town, a pair of telephone, a small organ, various stuff toys, rubix cube and tile puzzles. The 3 sisters were dressed fashionably, complete with accessories and scents. I was AWED..

I was already in college when I got the whole picture. Mr. Montero worked abroad to support their daughter’s education from grade school to college. He was normally gone for 5 years with 2 months vacation between contracts. When their youngest daughter had finished her Bachelor’s degree, Mr. and Mrs. Montero concluded that it was time for the former to come home for good. I can imagine how happy they were with the idea of finally being together, together in the real sense of the word.

So, I was shocked and saddened when I learned that Mrs. Montero passed away about 2 years after her husband’s return.

I can’t help counting the time Mr. and Mrs. Montero lived together. I can’t help but feel that it was short. And the more I think of that, the more thankful I am for the number of years I already spent with my husband..

*not real name

Dear Ma,

This is an open letter to my mother originally posted on my old blog in May 2011...

Dear Ma,

I would like to tell you how much I miss you.. I miss being with you and talking with you. I wanted to tell you a lot of things. First of which is how difficult it is for me to be a mother, that sometimes I'm no longer sure if I'm doing it right. There are times that I'm just too tired after a long day at work that I tend to snap at my kids over petty things like dirty feet and long fingernails. Sometimes, I feel that I'm not paying much attention that I was shocked when I saw my youngest's book with several pages of 'DO THIS' stamped on them. When I asked him why he wasn't able to do everything, he answered because I didn't help him. I keep on missing events in school. I can't even remember the last time I attended a PTC. I missed my youngest's Family Day, my middle child's Field Day and my eldest child's card distribution day. One time, I got angry at my younger daughter for being so long in front of the computer only to find out that she was doing a research in school. My eldest missed the Prom in her senior year because she got sick due to over fatigue. How did I let that happen? I can no longer remember..

Believe me, I'm trying my best.. but I keep on making mistakes. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough and I have to try even harder. I can't believe being a mother would be this difficult. It had been easier when they were babies. When all they did were cry when hungry or wet, and sleep and laugh when full and happy. But they got old and they would keep on getting older..

My eldest is going to college in June. I'm scared to let her go.. but I know I have no choice. I wish you were here to tell me what to do just like the old times when I was still young. But I am a mother now, and whoever said 'Mother knows best' wasn't completely right, because I don't. All I ever wanted was to be a good mother. But it seems like it's not that easy to be one..

I miss you so much. I love you... Take care...

Kimmy