Coincidences vs Miracles

This is a re-post. It originally appeared on another blog on Feb. 07, 2014. It is re-posted for sentimental reasons.

Most of the time, I’m so preoccupied with my problems that I fail to notice the hand of God working on me and my family.

When I quit my job in 2012, I was thinking so hard and so bitterly why the plans I so carefully laid out didn’t work out. A few months later, my daughter had an accident and underwent surgery. I thought how good the timing was that it happened when I didn’t have any other responsibilities and I was able to attend to her with undivided attention.

And during that time also, my husband was doing well at work that he was sending more than he used to which covered my lost income. Again, timely. But when my husband’s luck ran out and he was back to sending the usual amount, I panicked. How could I make both ends meet now with my eldest in private school in college.

Then, my daughter announced that she earned a full scholarship for the next semester.

Coincidences? No, they are miracles..

There are more. In fact, there are so much more that I can’t count them. But the bottom line is that God watches over me, fixes my problems and provides for my needs and I am humbled by his generosity.

Let us be thankful for all the miracles that God grants us every day and let’s try not to be like this..

“Then some teachers of the Law and some Pharisees spoke up ‘Teacher,’ they said, ‘we want to see you perform a miracle.’ Matthew 12: 38

When Fairy Tale Ends

My friend Jamie* married a wealthy foreigner. It was a marriage made in heaven. In her wedding gown fit for a princess, Jamie was the perfect bride. Beside her was her dashing groom, Bob*, with his eyes filled with love and passion.

Bob gave Jamie the life every woman dreams of. He gave her lovely house where she, alone, reigns supreme.  In her end, Jamie made the house the perfect nest for a family. She made it comfortable and warm. She always kept food and nice wine, and the sheets and linens are always fresh. When Bob thinks that Jamie feels down, he books her a flight home so she could visit her family. And sometimes, he would surprise her by making her parents visit them abroad.

When their eldest was born, Jamie’s cup filled to overflowing. However, to take better care of the baby, she started sleeping at the nursery to keep watch and tend to the baby’s needs. Bob understood and thanked Jamie for being such a wonderful mother. When her daughter was born, Jamie’s life was complete.

But minding two children meant less time for Bob. But thinking that her husband didn’t mind, Jamie focused her life on her children, after all, they were his children, too. After several years, Jamie had to come home to her ailing mother. With unlimited funds, Jamie took her mother to an expensive hospital. But money couldn’t buy life, and death couldn’t be bribed. Her mother died and she went back home hoping to find comfort in her husband’s arms.

But her husband though attentive was somehow distant. So, Jamie started to suspect him of having an affair. She nagged him into admission. But when the admission came, it was even worse than she feared. He didn’t have an affair, or if he did, it was nothing serious to be considered. He fell out of love with her.

Then it came down to her how he neglected him and his needs all these years. How he gave her a wonderful life but all she cared about were their children. And because she didn’t hear him complain even once, she thought it was alright, but now she learned that it wasn’t. And his last words to her was ‘you’re a great mother but not a good wife’.

Jamie tried to win her husband back and to save her marriage. But after a few years of trying, she gave up. Late last year, we went out together and I learned that Bob already signed the divorce paper. The children would stay with him but he has been kind enough to let her stay in the house, but not as his wife but as the mother of their children.

Good luck, Jamie, may the Lord give you strength to start again, and may he bless you happiness that you thought you have lost..

*not real name

How Easily We Judged

This is a re-post. This article originally appeared on another blog on Feb. 02, 2014. This is re-posted for sentimental reasons.

Recently, the Philippines was shocked by the news about actor/singer/dancer/host Vhong Navarro being beaten black and blue by a group of men led by businessman Cedric Lee, friend to model Deniece Cornejo who accused the actor of attempted rape.

Photos of black eyed Vhong flooded Facebook followed by various comments mostly of support for the popular actor. In just a few days, the story about ‘the mauling’ and ‘the raping’ were the primary topics in social media as people express their opinions on the three people involved.

‘Rapist’ (to Vhong) and ‘deserves to be raped’ to Deniece were among the comments I had the misfortune of laying my eyes to. I started to avoid any news or comments about the incident since then.

Funny how some people jump at the first opportunity to judge others, insisting that they are entitled to their own opinions. But they don’t seem stating opinions to me, they sound more like passing judgment. It just shows how lowly people think of others which follows that they think highly of themselves.

Are we really that blind to our own mistakes? How can we call someone a rapist when we weren’t even sure if he did it? And who are we to decide who deserves what?

Let’s not forget EVER..

“Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you.” (Matthew 7:1)

We Learned Young

When I was in college, I had this friend, Luna*. She was a sweet thing who was still gullible at 19. She was one of those girls who didn’t think they would be duped just because they weren’t doing anything wrong. Oh well, I was younger than Luna but I wasn’t thinking that way.

Anyways, though I was expecting something like that from Luna, I was still surprised when I learned that his boyfriend got her pregnant and that they were getting married. Ok, so, they loved each other, or so they thought, I guess, as a friend, I have to be happy for them, right?

After four years, we paid them a visit in their cramped apartment and I could say they were actually doing well. So, that time, I felt genuinely happy for them. But I realized my happiness was premature, because after ten years, I learned from other friends that her husband left her for another woman leaving her their four kids.

But looking at her FB account, Luna doesn’t look sweet and gullible anymore. She still looks pretty but tough and I guess it pays a ton to learn young..

 *not real name

The First Step

This is a re-post. It originally appeared on another blog on Jan. 12, 2014. It is re-posted for sentimental reasons.

One day, my 19-year old daughter, Candid, told me a lesson she learned in her young life. She said that she just realized what makes up life. She said that it’s made up of goals.

When I didn’t speak and just waited for her to continue, she did. She said, when she went to college, her goal was to earn a scholarship, even a partial one. And as I posted last November, she earned full scholarship for getting a general weighted average of 1.11. Then, another goal she set for herself was to buy a tablet with her own money. So, she kept her birthday money and saved more money from her allowance.She refrained from buying something on impulse. Until finally, she was able to save enough for a tablet.

Now that she already achieved her two most important goals, she felt somehow lost. She didn’t know what to do next. And then, the answer dawned on her, she needed another set of goals and so she did set up a more ambitious one. She wanted to graduate cum laude with a dream to work in television network.

Then, as supplementary goals, she said she must watch a film on her days off from school, which I believe is another preparation for her future if she indeed, gets to work in television. Also, she must read everyday, she must not let the day pass by without reading even a single chapter of a book. And right now, she’s reading Suzanne Collin’s Catching Fire, the second book of the Hunger Games Series.

I was.. glad. Not just glad, but outright happy. I look at my daughter and see a beautiful, intelligent and responsible woman. I’m not a show-off by nature, but at this point in time, I felt so proud for having brought up into the world such a wonderful person.

The Husband

Rudy* was my classmate in high school. We belonged to the same class for four years and all those years I could say we became friends, maybe not very close but friends nonetheless.

Since I’ve always been the one to organize our reunions, I was wondering why Rudy very seldom attends. Then a common acquaintance enlightened me. It seems like Rudy married a hateful woman. It might be subjective but I listened just the same.

The woman almost never let Rudy out her sight. She never let him go out with friends, especially the old ones. She always checks on his cell phone. She even opens Rudy’s Facebook account. She probably was the one who receives my messages and invitations to reunions. She nags Rudy in front of his friends.

I heard a lot more but I didn’t want to listen anymore. I just felt sad for Rudy. But I’m not sure if he was sad for himself. I just wish he’s happy..

*not real name

Problem of Forgetfulness

One of things that I’m so proud about myself was my sharp memory. It was probably the reason why other people thought I was smart, because I remember a lot of things, and since I’m a voracious reader, I  learned a lot from what I read and I was able to share what I learned to others because I remember them.

I remember names, dates, specific details, so I had no problem with history and biology. I remember songs and singers and composers as well as poems and writers, titles of books and authors. There was even a time when I was in mid 20s that I remember serial numbers of air conditioning equipment and my PLDT budget card number which was composed of 16 digits.

I knew how special that gift was. I used it, I enjoyed it and I never ever abuse it in any way nor use it in a bad way. But much as I want to hold on to it for much longer, it’s beginning to slip away, probably due to old age, stress or something else.

For the past 10 years, I’ve been starting to forget things.. like names of old acquaintances, dates of special occasions, places I’ve been to, titles of movies I watched. I can’t even memorize songs lately. Then, I started to forget schedules of departmental meetings, PTA meetings, list of things to buy from the mall, even the list of what to do the whole day.

My husband said I have to start writing things down, so I tried it, but I forgot where I wrote them. And eventually, I forgot that I wrote a list at all so I just wasted time writing a list. But the worst case of my forgetfulness was when I was in the middle of a lecture. I was discussing a topic I knew by heart and the words were just naturally and spontaneously coming out of my mouth, and then… I stopped in the middle of a sentence because I forgot what I was about to say.

I stood frozen in the middle of the room with 30 or so pairs of eyes looking at me, waiting for what I have to say. I didn’t know what to do. Clueless, I turned around and faced the board. Luckily, I wrote down some of the important details I was discussing, so, I got an idea about the topic I had in hand.

I was shaken. After the lecture, I went to my locker and cried. I knew I was losing something very special and I was sad and scared. I was so scared I checked out the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. But then again, if it would go, it would go no matter how much I want to hold on to it. And since I don’t believe much in memory enhancers or whatever they call it, I decided to just enjoy it while I still have it and if it goes, it goes..