On College Graduation

I graduated from the Far Eastern University, where I finished Bachelor of Science in Psychology, in October 1997. I did not attend the graduation ceremony. First, I did not find it very important at the time. Second, I did not have enough money for the graduation fee, toga, graduation picture, college ring and year book. I was simply too poor.

After 18 years, my daughter Candid graduated from the same school. We did everything so she could come to the commencement exercises. It was a simple thing for a cum laude to ask. Besides, I wanted her to know what I, myself, did not have a chance to find out, how it feels to graduate.

As I sat there watching, I finally realized how great it was; how happy the graduates were and how happier the parents were. It was overwhelming. All in all, it was a beautiful and wonderful experience for me.

However, I still do not feel regretful for missing my own graduation. After all, it is not the graduation, but what you do AFTER graduation that is MORE important.

My sincerest and love-filled congratulations, anak! There is just one thing I want you to remember for the rest of your life.. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter who you become, always, ALWAYS, keep your feet on the ground.

Lab ka ni Mama…

My Neighbors.. The United LAUREANS

This is a re-post. It originally appeared on another blog on Oct. 23, 2011. It is re-posted for sentimental reasons.

Several months ago, I was added by a friend to a group in Facebook, the ALAM MONG TAGA LAUR KA KUNG…

It was an exclusive group of people from our hometown of Laur, Nueva Ecija. It was created by Mykel Lacuesta Dizon, a fine lad who is presently working abroad. According to him, he created the group to withstand the homesickness he feels from working far from home.

It started out as a group of people who share common memories of our hometown. Both my sister Liz and I are active members of this group. For some reasons, we find it comforting to talk about the past and things peculiar to our place like our customs, traditions, festivals, food, etc. At first, it was like a grafitti wall where you can say things you can remember. Then members started to share pictures old and new. It was as if it was a place where you can be yourself and you will be accepted no matter what. It became a source of happiness and joy to everyone. Members go there to comfort and to be comforted. The group became not only a form of diversion but also a sanctuary and something to look forward to.

Then, it was conceptualized and decided upon to form a formal organization to be more of service to the community we all love. Thus, the United Laureans was born. Officers were elected and the fun continued. Then, calamity struck in the form of Pedring and Quiel. The dedication and passion of the newly elected officers and members were put to the test for the first time. Donations came from everywhere. Every member wants to extend help to people he or she does not know and would not meet. The group has only one thing in mind… to help out.

The first relief operation was held in Betania, Laur, Nueva Ecija. Led by the officers, volunteers flock together to show the power of unity.

It may be too premature to rejoice over this simple success, regardless, we are proud of what we were able to do and we would continue to do our best to make our hometown a better place.

This is my neighborhood where I am an active member. We may be far apart from each other but our hearts beat as one, because we are the united LAUREANS..

Proud to be Pinoy! Proud to be LAUREAN!

Mabuhay tayong lahat!!!

The Clue

When you lose someone for the first time.. and the second time… then the third time, isn’t it clue enough? Do you still have to wonder why you keep on losing him?

My friend Adelle* and I met in college. There he met the man of her dreams. Though we were only 16 at the time, she was so sure he was the one for her. To cut the long story short, they broke up. Adelle was crushed and I hated James* for causing my friend so much pain.

So, when they got back together five years after their break-up, I was uneasy. But since I was just a friend and I could only hope for the best and expect for the worst, I kept quiet. And my expectations were justified when Adelle, after yearssss of waiting for James to make things ‘official’, decided to let him go and luckily found someone else who gave her the love and affection James was too much of a jerk to give.

But if I was uneasy the second time, I was outraged when Adelle told me, just recently, that James had been hanging around, which made it the third time he messed up with my friend’s life. This time I knew I couldn’t meddle. I wasn’t able to influence Adelle then, how could I hope to influence her now? So, I just watched from a distance as the loathsome guy broke my friend’s heart for the third time.

He’s just hateful. No matter how much Adelle tried to tell me that it was her fault for falling for him again, I knew in my heart that despicable guy was conscious of his effect on my friend. He knew as he had always known, and yet he chose to toy around with her feelings.

I know I’m being biased, but I can’t help it. It’s frustrating..

*not real name

The Woman on P. Florentino

When my sister Liz and I were in college, we used to live in a boarding house at the corner of M. dela Fuente and P. Florentino Sts. in Sampaloc, Manila.

Along P. Florentino St. roamed a woman dressed in rags. She must be in her mid 40s at the time. During the day, she walked along the street just like a typical beggar. During midnight, she cried and screamed and called her children’s names. In my first night at the boarding house, I didn’t sleep at all. I asked my landlady what it was about. I learned that the woman, let’s name her Bebe, was a teacher. For some reasons, her marriage didn’t work out so she and her husband filed for a legal separation where she won full custody of her 3 children.

In consideration for her parents-in-law, however, she allowed her ex-husband to take the kids out every once in a while and it seems like the man deserved her consideration and for 2 years, the arrangement went on and everybody appeared to be happy about it.

One particular Sunday, however, her kids weren’t returned to her and SHE NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. Rumors had it that during the time that Bebe let her ex-husband take the kids out, the man’s family was making arrangements for the kids to be taken to the United States and for 2 years, they were able to provide the necessary papers required for the children to leave the country.

Bebe was devastated. The pain of losing her kids and the realization of being outwitted by the people she gave so much consideration, drove her to the brink of her sanity until she finally let go of reality.

Day after day, Bebe roamed the streets of Sampaloc looking for her lost children, and night after night, she called them by their names. I even heard her singing an off-key lullaby.

I couldn’t believe it, but I got used to Bebe. But every time I imagine that I understood her, I realize that I don’t and I guess I never will.. How would you feel if you are robbed of your reasons for living?

Love Stands to Reason

Twenty four years ago, I had the opportunity to sing with a great singer at the church choir. This guy, Fred* was a consistent winner in singing competitions and compared to him, we were small fries. So, why he even joined the choir was a mystery to us. But a mystery soon to be uncovered.. only to me.

It couldn’t have been obvious because Fred was a very reserved person. He usually kept only to himself. So, I was probably just.. perceptive. For some reasons, I always caught him staring at one particular choir member, Jenny*, so I joked him about it. But when he turned red all over, I knew I hit on something.

So, that was the reason. He joined the choir because he liked Jenny. He made me promise never to tell anyone, and of course, I did promise, after all, it was his secret not mine, therefore, it was for him to tell not me, right?

Jenny, whom we called ‘Tiffany’ (Fred thought her voice was like that of the 80s singer Tiffany’s) was pretty, smart, popular and sweet. No wonder Fred went an extra mile to be with her. But Fred was also aware that he had a very slim chance, if he had any chance at all, of winning Jenny’s heart. He was not good looking, he was poor (not poor as in pitiful but literally poor, without money, that’s why he always joined singing contests) and he was in the last section which means, he wasn’t smart, under ordinary standards. Still, he wrote her a very romantic letter to tell her how he felt. Out of curiosity, I asked him why he did that, when he knew he didn’t stand a chance. And he said he liked Jenny so much it was killing him unless he expressed it. And he certainly did. Well.. I understood that much.

But after a few months, he asked Jenny what she felt about him. This time, I felt a little embarrassed for him. Why would he ask Jenny when he knew it was impossible for her to like him back. But he said, he had to know, he had to hear it from Jenny.

Wow! This guy had some guts. And in fairness to Jenny, she had been very.. polite in turning down Fred. She said she was grateful and flattered for Fred’s affection, in fact she liked Fred, but only as a friend, and as if an afterthought, she said she already liked someone else, as in romantically.

Fred took it.. valiantly. He still joined choir practice, he talked to us as if nothing (painful) happened, only I was able to see through him and felt the sadness in his eyes. But when Jenny and the star volleyball player of our school were rumored to be going out, Fred dropped the pretense. He left the choir and didn’t come near us again.

Ten years after that, I could still see Fred wearing a customized shirt with ‘Tiffany’ printed at the front and the title of Tiffany’s song at the back. It didn’t look like an old shirt, in fact, it seems freshly printed, so, I had to believe he still held Jenny at high regard.

Fred didn’t know it and wouldn’t know it, but I learned a lot about love from him, love is kind, and patient, and brave, love accepts that which is true, love doesn’t enforce itself to someone and love stands to reason, among others..

 *not real names

Great Expectations

What happens when you expect too much from love? You get disappointed.

Well, I guess expectations are all right. However, great expectations are not so. Believing that the person would never mean to hurt you and would only want what’s best for you and would stand by you when the going gets tough is faith. But expecting this person to change his nature and to surrender his privacy is unreasonable.

Generally, girls are more expressive than boys. A guy who goes through the pains of painting an entire house pink for his lady-love, or sprinkle petals of four dozen roses so his girl could walk her way through them, or exchanging his sneakers with his girlfriend’s killer high heels so she could walk comfortably, is only one out of a hundred, otherwise exists only in movies and soap operas. To expect your boyfriend to go over the edge for you seems to me self indulgence and has very little to do with love if at all. Though there really are exceptionally romantic guys, there are more who prefer to express their affection more simply and if you happen to be with a guy like that, then accept him for what he is and do not expect him to read you poetry, or give you a long-stemmed white rose.

And what’s with girlfriends knowing their boyfriends’ passwords? And checking on his text messages and call log? If your boyfriend wants to hide something from you, he will, with or without your checking on him. You’re just helping him hide his secret more efficiently.

I’m not being KJ. I just know a lot of guys and I had a lot of guy friends. I also had some encounters with romantic guys, and they really are, well…. romantic. You may meet some of them, or may not. But that doesn’t mean you’re not adorable. You just don’t come across them and you are hardly to blame for that.

The Applicant

Sometime in the late 70s, a fresh graduate of Bachelor of Science in Education, Luna*, came home in the province. With her was her college diploma and her license from the Professional Regulatory Commission.

The first thing she did was submit an application to the only high school, a Catholic school, in our town. And to her felicity, she was scheduled for an interview with the school director, the current Parish Priest. So, she prepared. She was so excited that she slept very little. But her happiness was clouded with sadness and disappointment when she was greeted by a stormy morning. There was a typhoon.

As there was still no cell phone during that time, there was no way to notify the school that she couldn’t come. That left her no choice but to go on with the interview.

She fixed herself and dressed in business attire. Since there was no available tricycle because of the storm, Luna decided to walk amidst the raging wind and violent rain. After several minutes, she finally made it to the school. She went directly to the Parish house where the school director lives and takes office.

The moment the director admitted her in his office, the first thing Luna noticed was the shocked expression on his face. So, she hastily apologized for her pathetic appearance and ranted on about the awful typhoon and how she couldn’t find a way to let the director know she couldn’t come and since she wanted to keep her word and didn’t want to give a negative impression, she gathered all her courage and came for the interview instead.

What do you think happened?

Of course, she was accepted. In fact, she had been my teacher in high school. As what the school director said at the conclusion of the interview

“If you came over here despite the raging storm because you wanted to keep your word and that’s in addition to your impressive resume and transcript of records, then I do believe you will be an asset to this school..”

And she is..