How to Treat Our Neighbors..

Sometime when I was younger, I’ve heard in one of the homilies that one of the greatest blessings a man could have is a good neighbor.

Since then, any place I get to live, I made it my business to be in good terms with my neighbors. I could say I’ve always been successful (until now :D). Finding a good neighbor, however, is a two-way process. In order to have a good neighbor, you must be a good neighbor yourself.

You have to, first and foremost, show respect to your neighbors. To this I mean turning down the volume of your radio or television, not littering on you neighbor’s yard, not letting your pet eat your neighbor’s food, and not spreading gossip about your neighbor. They may sound petty, but they are true and they are frequently violated.

We have to be polite with our neighbor and treat him the way we want to be treated. After all, when something goes wrong, it is our neighbor whom we could ask the most immediate help from. He may not be able to help us but he may be able to cry for help.

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27

What Else is Lacking?

Gina* and Miko* met in college. They were classmates and they became sweethearts in no time. For years they were a happy couple until Gina got pregnant. Just so people wouldn't say that they got married only because of the baby, they didn't. Their daughter was already three years old when they finally settled down.

So, Gina became the mistress of the house, a role she played very well and very successfully. Though waited on by house maids, Gina personally supervises everything, from the food to prepare to Miko's suits. Even the schedule of regular car wash was managed by Gina. She was a hands on mother to their daughter helped only by the live-in sitter especially when she was out with Miko or busy preparing a party for Miko's friends.

Moreover, she didn't neglect her looks. She worked out and stayed slim and had a regular appointment with the derma and the hairdresser. She always made sure to look her best for Miko.

So, when Miko left her for another woman, we couldn't think of anything to say to comfort her and make her feel better. Because even we didn't know what else was wrong and lacking. And now that marriage is already annulled, we all wish the best for Gina.

*not real name

The Manager

Ruth* is every inch the manager. Smartly dressed complete with fashionable shoes and accessories, fluent in both English and Filipino and somehow intimidating.

When I met her, I didn’t know if I was scared of her or quite irritated. Scared because she can take my job away if she finds me wanting and irritated because she was making us all feel uncomfortable and completely stressed out. She is the kind of person whom everybody would like to be when she grows up. Though I, for one, would rather prefer to be more.. warm and approachable.

She told us a little about herself, how she started as an ordinary employee and became a fearless manager for the greater part of her nine working years. She was one successful girl. Then, she said something that I would never forget. She said that until now, she isn’t sure whether her career is the right one for her.

I was thinking, how could it be? How could such apparently successful individual question whether the thing she seems to excel in is right for her. How did she stand working in a kind of business that she didn’t like all these years.

I suddenly felt proud of the times when I was teaching. I never ever question whether it was the right job for me. I simply knew. Someday I would go back to teaching and continue educating young people.

 *not real name

A Memory: Another Dark Night

It was sometime in 1990. My father was about to close the billiard hall for the night and I was helping him pack up. My mother was behind me sweeping the floor with an old broom.

Then, a man materialized out of.. I really didn’t know, and begged in a husky voice.. ‘help me..’

He was clasping his belly with his hand. From it seeped the darkest red fluid I ever saw. It was blood. I froze. I couldn’t move, but when I heard my mother yelled at me ‘get inside!’ I ran and didn’t come back.

My father ran to call for help, the police station, the health center, the barangay hall, but it took almost an hour before the injured man was taken to the nearest hospital. We soon learned that the man passed by a group of drug addicts in the dark and was stabbed by one of them. He ran for help until he came to our billiard hall which was the only open place that night. Fortunately, the suspect was caught and eventually jailed. Unfortunately, the victim died.

Somehow, our town learned a lesson from that dark night, additional street lights were put up and police officers patrolled around the town every once in a while. Though it was sad that it took one innocent life before the town learned to be more vigilant, I guess we just had to learn to accept that.

On Love Triangle

Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

For as long as I could remember, love triangle has been featured as a theme in movies and romantic fiction. Among those were The Notebook, Twilight Saga and The Hunger Games. I’m partial to these three because they are what I remember the most, Hunger Games being very recent, Twilight being super popular and The Notebook being one of my favorite movies.

Still, they are just that, movies. But the question whether it is possible to love two people at the same time is left unanswered. There are those who would say definitely not because if you really love someone, you will never get to fall in love with someone else. But, there are those who consider love a complicated thing and in which everything and anything is possible, and that a loving heart can accommodate a thousand let alone two equally deserving people.

So, is it really possible to love two people at the same time?

Theoretically, I go with the latter opinion but I wish never to be in the position to tell whether it is true or not.

The Third Time

As college students, my sister Liz and I lived in a boarding house. Since we are not permanent residents of the place (we were not even voters), we did not know the neighbors that well.

One night, as we were deep in sleep, I was woken by a commotion. Since I wasn’t brave enough to find out what was wrong, I waited until somebody turned on the light. I went out of the room and saw my landlady’s back on her way out. I waited for her in the living room. When she came back, I asked her what was the commotion about and she answered casually.

“Eric was rushed to the hospital”

Who the hell is Eric?

As if reading my mind, my landlady continued..

“Eric is our neighbor’s only son..”

Uh-huh?

“The gay next door..”

Ooohh! The gay..

“Why, what’s wrong with him? Is he sick?” I finally asked.

“He took sleeping pills.. the entire bottle”

“What?!!!”

“Oh, don’t be so shocked. This is the third time he has done it, I mean tried to kill himself. You may go back to sleep now..”

I wasn’t able to go back to sleep right away. I spent the night thinking how unhappy Eric is to want to die three times already. Then, I thought of myself, how I struggle hard to finish my studies in order to have a better life. Why do I want a better life when my neighbor does not want his life at all?

Strange how people deal with life.

Is Late Love Already Lost Love?

Thanks to Facebook we are able to get in touch with people we haven’t seen for a long while.

I felt so glad when I saw a friend request from someone I haven’t seen for more than 20 years. As I hoped, we became reunited and constantly chat online besides exchange of occasional text messages.

Then, on Christmas, she texted me saying that she had trouble at home, domestic trouble, as in husband and wife trouble. I learned that Facebook reunited not just her and me, but her and another person from her past as well, that person being special then and now. The person became her husband’s object of jealousy and caused a rift between them.

Last week, my friend confided in me that she’s in a very difficult situation. She’s been married to her husband for 20 years and has been in love with her old friend all this time. And now that old friend has come back into her life, with a domestic problem of his own similar to hers, making them all the more right for each other.

If only it’s as easy as breaking up and finding a new life with someone, but it isn’t. There are children involved and family extensions to consider. I asked my friend for how long she thinks she could hang on to being with the person she married. She said, she’s trying her mightiest but still couldn’t foresee how everything would end up.

I feel for her and for others who are in her position. But sympathetic though I am to her predicament, I could never solve her problems for her nor could I make decisions that are for her to make.