Pretty Boy

“He is nothing but a pretty boy..”

That’s what Riza* told us when we asked why she broke up with her ex-boyfriend. It had been four years since the separation, but Riza hasn’t had any boyfriend since then. It must have been really painful, I thought

One time, however, for some reasons, Riza started to talk about her ex, and not just talk, but really TALK. And when she talked, she talked all the way..

I found out that the guy’s only redeeming quality, if we can call that quality, is his being pretty. He is one of those vain guys who always keep themselves looking like movie stars. So, when he started dating her, Riza felt like winning in a raffle draw. He was the type of guy any girl would be proud to be seen with in any occasion. And he was not just a pretty boy, he was also, according to Riza, a good lover. She said, he always made her feel wanted.

Their first date was a bomb, Riza felt like a princess. On their second date, however, the guy was broke, so, it was Riza who settled the bill. The third, the fourth, and even the fifth date was no better than the second. Riza started to wonder if something was wrong. There was. The guy couldn’t last in a job, any job. He simply thought he was too good for any of those jobs he was hired for. He believed he was destined for something greater but wasn’t given any chance.

Months passed and things got no better. Riza was starting to get irritated every time her boyfriend shows up with empty pockets expecting her to give him his fare back home. So, Riza talked with him and said he had to find himself a job. He seemed to digest it over night because the following day, he waited for her after work and asked to borrow some money so he could find himself a job. Riza, thinking it was better to help him find a job instead of just giving him money, lent him some hoping it would help him.

After several months, the pretty boy was as pretty as ever, but still jobless. Needless to say he wasn’t able to pay what he owed Riza.

And Riza? She broke up with him promising herself she would find a much better person. The fact that she is still single now may mean she never find that person YET.

Well, I really wish her luck!

*not real name

Gesture of a Long-Time Friendship

(This is a re-post from my old blog. I included it here for sentimental reasons.)

As I was checking out my notifications in my Facebook account last week, I found out that I was tagged a picture by my friend, Lee Viray Cahili, the well-known photographer. It was a picture of his new Photography Studio.

I felt flattered that even though we haven't seen each other much these past few years, he still wanted me to know what’s going on with his life right now.

When I featured him in my blog as a birthday present, he thanked me by posting this on my Facebook wall..

“hi kim thank you! you don’t know how much you made an impact on who i am and how i think now. for that maraming salamat kaibigan.”

As if it wasn’t enough, he posted this on his Facebook wall..

“She was not my mother not even my teacher but the things I learned from her helped me become who i am and how i am today. Salamat Kim Agustin Laxa for this gift on my birthday! :)”

 Honestly, I can no longer remember how I helped him be what he is right now. I have some vague memory, though,  of our long talks and endless arguments way back in college. Even then, I was the teacher he probably didn’t want yet a significant part of his life.

For my friend, Lee, good luck to all your endeavors..

If The Love Fits..

Ann* was a typical provincial girl with minimal exposure to the city-ways. Consequently, she tends to be overly shy and aloof. But more than that, Ann is a girl who didn’t know what she really wanted in life.

Before she went to college, we’ve asked her what course she’d like to take, obviously, she didn’t know. So, I asked her about her interests as I believed it would give us a clue as to what she wanted, she didn’t know that either. So, she just took the course that was a trend at the time.

After college was the problem of employment. Again, she didn’t know what type of job she wanted to be doing. So, it was either she didn’t last long in the job or she didn’t have any job at all. So, we were kind of surprised when she announced that she would like to work abroad. With the kind of attitude that she had, we thought she wouldn’t last a week. But she did.

She was halfway through her contract when we found the perfect guy for her. So, we gave the guy his number and we assumed that he sent her an SMS or something like that. After a few months, however, the guy said she didn’t text him back. Oh well, enough with the matchmaking game..

When Ann got home, I wasn’t there, so I had to wait until I came over to check her out, which was a few more months after she arrived. She looked healthier, first and foremost, and there was a little change in her attitude, I guess, she became less shy. But what surprised me most was the news that she was getting married in a few months.

It turned out that the guy whose text messages she snubbed was the same guy who captured her heart. Oh well, talk about love and its own course…

*not real name

Teachers and Terrors

As a teacher, I wonder why other teachers terrorize students.

One of my childhood friends didn’t even finish the second grade because she was humiliated by her teacher. She never went back to school.

I, myself, experienced being embarrassed by a teacher in the entire class. I am an English teacher but I wasn’t that good in Math. I passed, yes, but I didn’t excel and it seemed like my professor took satisfaction in making me a laughingstock. Fortunately, my classmates knew I was good in other subjects, so no one laughed at me, and if someone did, he or she made sure I didn’t hear it.

I have always loved school, but even I learned to hate it because of teachers like that. That’s the time I decided I want to be a teacher and if I become one, I will never, ever, be like that. I would not intimidate students, rather, I would make them feel it’s ok to be wrong, and I will help them learn what is right. I will not simply teach lessons but I will teach students to love learning.

There are times that I, too, can be difficult, but not unreasonable. I’d rather be disliked by a few just as long as they learn from me. I prefer to be liked not because I’m kind but because I’m good.

Sooner or later, I will go back to teaching and I’ll make sure I’m still the teacher I’ve always been :)

Love Can Be Learned

When I was new in the air conditioning company that I worked with, I met one of the most arduous girls I’ve ever met so far. She was one of the secretaries. I learned right away that she was hopelessly in love with the chief engineer.

Being a new girl in the company, I guess she felt right to see me as a threat. At that time, I was still a young, naughty and stubborn girl myself. I knew how my co-worker felt, both of them. The girl was obsessed and the guy felt suffocated. Honestly, I felt that the guy wasn’t interested but was just too polite to tell the girl that he didn’t like her at all. Well, it wasn’t my business and I had no intention of getting entangled with a complicated soon-to-be love affair. That was until the girl got jealous of me and started throwing me dagger-like looks.

Well, I felt, somehow, flattered, that she saw me as a threat. First and foremost, I wasn’t even pretty and second, the guy wasn’t even paying me special attention except for the usual and casual co-worker to co-worker banter. So, I thought, she need not feel threatened in any way. After all, she made it perfectly clear in the entire office that HE was HERS and hers alone.

Then, she began having tantrums, snapping at the guy and throwing things on the floor like stapler, puncher and even harmless little paper clips. I guess the guy was starting to feel embarrassed for how his girlfriend was acting in the office. He even apologized to me once for her behavior, though I found it unnecessary. Then, I overheard them arguing as quietly as they could. Then, the girl started to go on hunger strike. She started not to eat lunch and when she fell ill, she wanted the guy to take her to the hospital. Uuuggh! Wasn’t that lame?

Lame as it was.. It worked! After half a year, there was a rumor that the two were getting married. The girl was pregnant. I was, believe it or not, happy for her. But looking at the guy, his wasn’t really the face of a happy groom. Well, maybe he learned to love the girl alright, but maybe he wasn’t ready for marriage yet.

What more can I say, but that.. her patience paid off!

Wasn't Slow

The first time I saw Val, I thought he was one difficult student to handle. He seemed.. slow. He kept on forgetting his lessons, his books, his schedules and every time his mom brings him to the center, she always has something unpleasant to say about her son. And when you hear her, it seems like Val is the most hopelessly stupid person in the whole wide world.

I was right. He was difficult to handle. For one, he doesn’t want to learn. He was one lazy boy who doesn’t care whether he learns or not. Second, he always acts stupid, probably hoping we would just give up on him and send him home. Finally, he seems to be using the center to rebel against his mother. He wouldn’t attend the session because when his mother calls, she would be extremely furious when she finds out he ditched a session.

So, when his mother presented a letter from the principal with instructions to focus on his English subject, I felt doomed. But whether I like it or not,  I had to do my job, no, not to teach him, but to let him like to learn. So, knowing his attitude towards studies, I started with the basic, and I mean, lessons that he already took and that may seem easy for him to answer. As customary, I was lavish with praises for correct answers and infinitely patient with incorrect answers.

He seemed to like it. That is.. he liked to be credited for doing well and being shown patience for things he couldn’t do that well. He started coming regularly and on time. Well, that was a change. Then, we started to talk like old friends, and I learned that his mom nags him every single day of his life and finds it a pleasant habit to rant at him even about things that are beyond him.

I haven’t noticed that he was actually improving until he showed me a test paper with only five incorrect answers. Well, THAT’s a major change. Then, I realized he wasn’t slow at all. He is actually good and he still has much room for improvement. And I was happy for him.

I learned, though, that he stopped attending sessions since I resigned. Well, I want to think he doesn’t need a tutor anymore, otherwise, I would feel a little guilty for turning my back on him.. :(

For Val, 'study as hard as you used to do. I know you can do it even without me. Make me and yourself proud :D'

*not real name

A Choice

When we were in first year high school, my friend, Lara* felt a deep infatuation to his older brother’s best friend, Tom*. Tom, however, had a crush on an older girl in school. So, Lara just satisfied herself by looking at Tom from a distance.

Just like other ordinary high school girls, we grew up and Lara became one of the prettiest and smartest girls in campus. A flock of suitors block our way to and from school. Before we graduated, Lara’s most awaited moment had come. Tom sent him a token of his admiration. My friend was elated, she had long dreamed of being noticed by Tom and now that it happened, she was so happy.

But when I asked her if she still liked Tom the way she used to do when we were younger, she said why wouldn’t she? She has always liked and loved him and this was the moment she’s long been waiting for.

So, they became sweethearts. It took only a couple of weeks before I noticed that Lara wasn’t as happy as we both expected, and I guess I wasn’t surprised. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she, herself, didn’t know why. So, I said maybe she wasn’t really in love with Tom, that what she felt was just teenage infatuation which is totally different from love.

She thought about it and broke up with Tom after a while. But Tom took it too hard. He resorted to prohibited drugs until he got addicted to it and had to drop from school. Lara felt so guilty. She blamed herself for messing up Tom’s life. But I said she may have hurt him, but it wasn’t her fault if Tom resorted to drugs. He had a choice. He chose to be a bum and no one was to blame except himself.

Man is a rational animal. If one man isn’t rational, then, what is he..?

*not real name